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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know there unreasonable but £30 is insane!

285 replies

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 02/10/2024 12:56

Agree with others that I wouldn’t put your name to this request, let them organise it. There are plenty of websites now where you pop your names in and get a randomly generated person so nobody who isn’t actively participating needs to be involved.

I’d also say re. budget that no one person should be deciding that, it should go to poll of anybody who wants to participate.

I can sort of see the logic in making the amount higher as it allows you to get a “proper” present rather than £5 of tat but actually in a workplace secret santa you probably don’t know the person all that well anyway and unless you happen to get one of your closest friends then you just end up buying/receiving £30 of tat!

MrsSunshine2b · 02/10/2024 12:55

Best ever secret Santa I did was £2 limit. Everyone bought something small and random from a charity shop or cheap shop, there was no pressure to get something amazing, everyone was happy. £30 is ridiculous.

InSpainTheRain · 02/10/2024 12:54

Great idea for wording the email from @crockofshite £30 is ridiculous for a SS.

Whoowhoopitstbesoundofthedapolice · 02/10/2024 12:54

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

I'd have to tell her to do it herself. £30 quid is cheeky as for a secret Santa gift .. it's supposed to be a laugh.

FeedingThem · 02/10/2024 12:53

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:44

I really should have clarified that 'Dawn' is the Office Manager/Accounts person

I am the Head's PA but have 'other duties needed within the office' because he also has an EA

So she is above me and can tell me not to say she said to put £30.

Is go to the head then and ask for their opinion on the budget

thebigL · 02/10/2024 12:53

That would be a big fat NO from me.

snoopsy · 02/10/2024 12:52

Make it anything from a charity shop. then people can spend what they like. this person is ridiculous.

fashionqueen0123 · 02/10/2024 12:51

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:44

I really should have clarified that 'Dawn' is the Office Manager/Accounts person

I am the Head's PA but have 'other duties needed within the office' because he also has an EA

So she is above me and can tell me not to say she said to put £30.

But if she hasn’t told you not to,then she won’t mind when you pop that as part of the email!

£5 or £10 would be better!

crockofshite · 02/10/2024 12:51

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:44

I really should have clarified that 'Dawn' is the Office Manager/Accounts person

I am the Head's PA but have 'other duties needed within the office' because he also has an EA

So she is above me and can tell me not to say she said to put £30.

Then don't mention any amount in the message.

People will assume £5 or a 'naice' recycled gift.

One xmas our secret Santa was to give a used book from our own shelf, chosen out of Santa's sack at random by participants, and of course book swaps were allowed.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/10/2024 12:51

roses2 · 02/10/2024 12:46

Are you not in a position to suggest an alternative eg £5 charity shop purchase?

Or send out an email with voting options. "Who wants to participate in a Secret Santa":

Option A - £30
Option B - £5 charity shop buy

I think this is a good solution. Miss smug pants might not agree though !!

halava · 02/10/2024 12:50

Discuss with the Head immediately. Do not put your name to this. Ask Head to get Office manager to send it to you, and you forward it, if there is no other way. Hopefully the Head has a bit of sense.

Fromage · 02/10/2024 12:50

roses2 · 02/10/2024 12:46

Are you not in a position to suggest an alternative eg £5 charity shop purchase?

Or send out an email with voting options. "Who wants to participate in a Secret Santa":

Option A - £30
Option B - £5 charity shop buy

This is a great idea, because you can run two secret santas: the fivers, and Dawn spending £30 on herself 😄

blueoverwhite · 02/10/2024 12:50

I’d be tempted to send it out but change the amount to £10.

Then when she gets outraged and sends out an email saying it’s 30, everyone will reply with, ‘oh we were happy with 10, lets keep it at that’

Allswellthatendswelll · 02/10/2024 12:50

£30 is ridiculous. Our one is £5 and I've never got a good gift but at least it is £5.

My sibling secret santa is £15 and I usually spend about £20 on nephews and nieces and £50 on each of my parents/DH/DS!

TheGoogleMum · 02/10/2024 12:48

I don't even spend that much on my parents. £5 is fine, maybe £10. Any more than that is too expensive for this

SiobhanSharpe · 02/10/2024 12:48

LookItsMeAgain · 02/10/2024 12:41

If you do have to send out a notice about this, I'd be very clear that the budget is "up to £30" and make it clear that no one is expected to pay £30 but if you want to, you can spend up to that amount.

But the point of a secret santa is fairness, that everybody spends the same amount, isn't it?
Otherwise you run the risk of complaints like ' I spent 25 quid and I got a fiver's worth of cheap chocolates...'

error404notfound · 02/10/2024 12:48

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roses2 · 02/10/2024 12:46

Are you not in a position to suggest an alternative eg £5 charity shop purchase?

Or send out an email with voting options. "Who wants to participate in a Secret Santa":

Option A - £30
Option B - £5 charity shop buy

CombatLingerie · 02/10/2024 12:44

Oh yes @ThisTentLikeThing that’s a good idea. Do that @FranksBank £3.00. Typo or decimal point in the wrong place. I worked in many schools and there was always conflict over this sort of thing. It mainly happened with some teachers wanting to go to expensive Christmas meals, splurge on Secret Santa etc. It excluded other school staff on lower wages, plus myself who was a single parent at the time and on the bones of my arse.

Original poster
FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:44

I really should have clarified that 'Dawn' is the Office Manager/Accounts person

I am the Head's PA but have 'other duties needed within the office' because he also has an EA

So she is above me and can tell me not to say she said to put £30.

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 02/10/2024 12:43

ThisTentLikeThing · 02/10/2024 12:37

It would be a shame if there was a typo in the email which said the budget was £3. 😉

Oh I like this suggestion...a lot!!!

Tdcp · 02/10/2024 12:43

We have a close team where I work, by that I mean a lot of us are friends outside of work, our secret santa is £10...

Malaguena123 · 02/10/2024 12:43

I'd add the same, £30 is madness. Our SS is £5 - makes you think creatively!

ThePlumsOfWilfred · 02/10/2024 12:43

Lat time I did a Secret Santa the budget was £10. Google tells me that is worth £18.50 today - so a £20 limit would seem right to me.

LookItsMeAgain · 02/10/2024 12:41

If you do have to send out a notice about this, I'd be very clear that the budget is "up to £30" and make it clear that no one is expected to pay £30 but if you want to, you can spend up to that amount.