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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know there unreasonable but £30 is insane!

285 replies

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 04/10/2024 11:45

@GrannyRose15 that's true..... Waterstones can be a bit more.
(for a Secret Santa I'd buy a £2.50 one from The Works 🙂)

GrannyRose15 · 04/10/2024 11:17

Needmorelego · 04/10/2024 10:58

@GrannyRose15 where are you buying your paperbacks from?
They're usually about £5 - 7 in the supermarket.

Waterstones. And I said £12 max

Needmorelego · 04/10/2024 10:58

@GrannyRose15 where are you buying your paperbacks from?
They're usually about £5 - 7 in the supermarket.

GrannyRose15 · 04/10/2024 10:54

I’d always take the cost of a paperback book as a guide. £12 at most.

Packetofcrispsplease · 04/10/2024 09:30

That’s ridiculous, that budget ought to be halved .
It is easy to get a nice small gift for up to £15 just for example a quality hand cream , a nice candle, a scarf from a gift shop , posh chocolate,posh sweets , notebook , really good socks .
I know those sort of gifts are generic but I’m just putting that to illustrate what can be got with the £15

If you absolutely have to send out that email I’d copy in the original person whose idea it was and say “ on behalf of XX I’m informing all “

CrowleyKitten · 04/10/2024 00:25

TunnocksOrDeath · 03/10/2024 19:53

The PP who suggested the surprise book-swap is a genius.
Who needs more plastic novelty tat or cheap chocs? Books are brilliant!! And if you get one you don't like, you can donate it to a charity shop, guilt-free.
I am totally going to suggest this next time someone raises the prospect of a secret Santa.

YES! the book idea is brilliant. get everyone to write a bit about what they enjoy reading, be that mysteries, or cookery books, or craft books, or history, and see what happens. I love that idea!

Sotiredmjmmy · 03/10/2024 23:14

Knock a 0 off it when you send the email out, £3… and everyone else will thank you for it

Neighbours87 · 03/10/2024 22:30

A few years ago a few of us suggested doing a charity collection instead of a secret Santa everyone was very happy with this

Havinganamechange · 03/10/2024 20:52

Sorry but tell them to arrange it themselves. £30 is too much for a Secret Santa and I would be embarrassed sending an email to people saying they had to spend £30…it makes you look silly IMO.

DisabledDemon · 03/10/2024 20:11

MonsteraMama · 02/10/2024 12:16

I've never participated in a secret Santa, it's a wank tradition that needs to die.

Totally agree. Sometimes they're used rather spitefully (think of someone a bit chunky being given a book on healthy living for instance) and they can cause a lot of upset and ill-feeling. The idea of going out for a nice meal is much more sensible.

TunnocksOrDeath · 03/10/2024 19:53

The PP who suggested the surprise book-swap is a genius.
Who needs more plastic novelty tat or cheap chocs? Books are brilliant!! And if you get one you don't like, you can donate it to a charity shop, guilt-free.
I am totally going to suggest this next time someone raises the prospect of a secret Santa.

CrowleyKitten · 03/10/2024 19:52

£30 is way too much for secret Santa unless it's a really high paid employer across the board.
£10-15 seems more normal, and even for some people that's a stretch.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 03/10/2024 19:52

Blimey! I don't spend that on friends & family! At my work do £1 & shop at Poundland for ours, it's a bit of competition as to who can buy the naffest present. It's just a bit of fun. £30 is ridiculous.

user1471538283 · 03/10/2024 19:42

£30! We are in a cost of living crisis!

I haven't done secret Santa for years and then the limit was £5 or £10 which is more than enough.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 03/10/2024 19:40

You could always say, it has been suggested (not by me).. and leave it to the recipients' imaginations?

Fizbosshoes · 03/10/2024 19:38

Spending £30 on a family member is usually fine because you know them and know what their interests/tastes are (or they've specifically asked for something)
Spending anywhere near £30 on someone you don't know well seems like a waste of time/effort/money and gift (who knows if they'll like the thing anyway!)

DDs form used to do Secret santa in the class, budget £5 but the form tutor insisted they couldn't choose chocolates or sweets because it wasn't v imaginative. 🙄Which was a PITA when you didn't know the person!

laraitopbanana · 03/10/2024 19:24

Rudicoolcat · 03/10/2024 19:11

How about a header at the top of the email "Sent of behalf of....."

Absolutely, warn you will do that.

« I am not feeling comfortable with the amount, but I can defo send the email on your behalf »

Let her face change completely. Please come back and tell us what she told you!🤣🤣
cheecky one!

laraitopbanana · 03/10/2024 19:21

Secret santas are £10/15.

yeap. She wants a nice gift, doesn’t she? Why is she not sending the mail?

Rudicoolcat · 03/10/2024 19:11

How about a header at the top of the email "Sent of behalf of....."

largeprintagathachristie · 03/10/2024 18:37

Tenner, max.

Ap42 · 03/10/2024 18:34

That's a ridiculous amount of money. We spend £5. I would refuse go get involved.

Single50something · 03/10/2024 18:31

The whole point of secret Santa used to be to see what you could get for a fiver...amusing or something the person would like. It involved thought and planning.
Some of my family think a tenner in an envelope is sufficient for a family birthday /Christmas present.
£30 for secret Santa is bonkers..

Pearshaped20 · 03/10/2024 18:19

£30 is way over the top, when I've done it in the past (don't bother now) we did £10. Tbh whatever the budget, half the gifts will be a generic Christmas stuff anyway unless you really know the person you have picked. Some people are really thoughtful others not so.

Snowflakeslayer · 03/10/2024 18:08

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

Normally £10, it’s a gesture, a bit of fun. £30 isn’t fun, I’d opt out if I got that email, and leave them to it.

BabyR · 03/10/2024 17:55

£30 is far too much. £10 max.