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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know there unreasonable but £30 is insane!

285 replies

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

OP posts:
Jessieshome · 02/10/2024 12:28

I bloody hate secret santa but have always done it so I don't look like a moody cow!😀

£30 is absolutely ridiculous though there's no way I'd spend that on potentially someone I barely know, depending on the amount of people involved.

Definitely make it clear it's not you setting the budget, or if you have to arrange it, over rule and say £10.

(What's PT?)

Darkfloods · 02/10/2024 12:28

£10 max, £30 is ridiculous for a secret Santa.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/10/2024 12:27

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

I agree, £30 is too high. And I don’t see that sending it out after Halloween will change anything, given that Christmas is expensive and this will just add to the financial burden. Hopefully you won’t get many takers, or possibly others will voice their objections to the amount, so her royal smugness will have to rethink it !!

MereDintofPandiculation · 02/10/2024 12:27

They'll have time to save, won't they?' Really annoys me to think that this is justification for asking people to spend money they haven't got. If you're saving, it's for stuff you want to spend on, surely? I've seen this excuse so many times in connection with ridiculously extravagant weddings and hen parties.

LittleMy77 · 02/10/2024 12:27

£30 is madness. Teaching assistants round here get approx £12 an hour, if this is to include them too at your school OP, it's tone deaf

DogInATent · 02/10/2024 12:24

The person that's asked you to arrange this, they're not by any chance approaching retirement?

TorroFerney · 02/10/2024 12:24

Chowtime · 02/10/2024 12:08

Hmm I dunno really. £30 isn't that much money anymore - I mean, you can't buy a lot with £30 so I don't think £30 for secret santa is unreasonable.

And it's optional, so if you don't want to do it you don't have to.

This is why I'm glad that me and my friends and colleagues always just arrange a nice meal out at christmas rather than buying gifts. We all have what we want, we really just want to spend time with friends occasionally and eat good food.

Why don't you suggest a meal out instead?

A fiver is ok as you know the present will be rubbish , they don't know you and a fiver is a challenge to be creative. Getting £30 worth of a useless present is a terrible idea. It's not really meant as a means to get a proper present is it, it's just fun.

EmeraldIsla · 02/10/2024 12:23

My biggest issue would be that she wants you to organise it when she 'knows you won't want to participate'. Tell her to do it herself!

QuestionableMouse · 02/10/2024 12:22

Chowtime · 02/10/2024 12:08

Hmm I dunno really. £30 isn't that much money anymore - I mean, you can't buy a lot with £30 so I don't think £30 for secret santa is unreasonable.

And it's optional, so if you don't want to do it you don't have to.

This is why I'm glad that me and my friends and colleagues always just arrange a nice meal out at christmas rather than buying gifts. We all have what we want, we really just want to spend time with friends occasionally and eat good food.

Why don't you suggest a meal out instead?

£30 would pay my water bill and car tax, or my car insurance for the month.

DreamW3aver · 02/10/2024 12:20

Chowtime · 02/10/2024 12:08

Hmm I dunno really. £30 isn't that much money anymore - I mean, you can't buy a lot with £30 so I don't think £30 for secret santa is unreasonable.

And it's optional, so if you don't want to do it you don't have to.

This is why I'm glad that me and my friends and colleagues always just arrange a nice meal out at christmas rather than buying gifts. We all have what we want, we really just want to spend time with friends occasionally and eat good food.

Why don't you suggest a meal out instead?

Where do you shop that you can't get a lot for £30? Not in the real world that most of us live.

SweetSakura · 02/10/2024 12:20

crockofshite · 02/10/2024 12:10

Start the email with..... Mary has asked me to share this with everyone. Then put whatever bollocks she's decided on and leave them to it.

You could also end the message with the suggestion they should contact Mary with any queries.😊

Yes, this is perfect

Magnastorm · 02/10/2024 12:19

I would send it out with the budget set to £10, tops. £30 for this sort of thing is fucking ridiculous.

Downsizermaybe · 02/10/2024 12:17

We set our close family one for the adults at £25 and just buy for the children and we are all happy with that. £30 for work is over the top.

bifurCAT · 02/10/2024 12:17

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

Thread title should say 'they're'

And it's Secret Santa Grin not sectet

I hate how the first reply is ALWAYS someone correcting spelling or nitpicking terminology, etc of the OP!

🤣

PriyaPT · 02/10/2024 12:16

in the past I did a secret Santa where you could only spend £5 and you HAD to spend it on something in a charity shop or something home made. We opened all the gifts in a team meeting with hot chocolate and biscuits/mince pies, and played a few silly games together (we did a Family Fortunes style game that was a good laugh, and a dressing up game where you had to make a festive hat out of bits and pieces).

It was really funny and a few people got some amazingly creative things!

maybe do a straw poll aand find out what people really want. For me, Christmas should be about the spirit of the season, not the stress of shopping.

Alicana · 02/10/2024 12:16

I don’t see the problem, phrase it that the email is on behalf of the person who suggested it with her suggested budget. Make it clear that this is entirely optional and nobody is expected to participate, only those who want to.

Wait for everyone to decline as they don’t want to spend £30 on crap, or receive £30’s worth of crap. Then you never have to do secret Santa again!!

MonsteraMama · 02/10/2024 12:16

I've never participated in a secret Santa, it's a wank tradition that needs to die.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 02/10/2024 12:14

I agree with the others.

X has asked me to let everyone know blah blah
Maximum spend 30
Contact x with any queries etc

AgnesX · 02/10/2024 12:13

She must like her colleagues A LOT to spend that much. I thought secret Santa was meant to be just a bit of fun. A tenner would be more than enough.

Sodthebloodymealplan · 02/10/2024 12:13

Surely the whole point of a Secret Santa is that it is low budget and either finding something silly, or the best value for that low budget. I have relatives that I only spend £30 on

bergamotorange · 02/10/2024 12:13

tuvamoodyson · 02/10/2024 12:11

Send it out if you have to, I’d say ‘Jane has suggested the SS should be set at £30 this year…’

This is a better phrasing, do this.

Arlanymor · 02/10/2024 12:12

Tenner tops, £30 is an awful lot of money to some people, particularly with the cost of living. If the budget is colleague's idea then put that in the email as per PPs' suggestions.

bergamotorange · 02/10/2024 12:12

Just say 'I've been asked to send this email on behalf of x' and then list the details.

Or refuse to send the email if it's not really your role.

BobbyBiscuits · 02/10/2024 12:11

I wouldn't call it a 'budget' as such. I'd just say please no gifts over £30, and less than that is totally fine.
I think it used to be tenner, then it went up to 20, at my work. But that was about 7 years ago.
As long as nobody feels they must spend that much then it should be OK.
I would discuss amongst my friends that I felt it was quite high, and how I will be spending a bit less.
Hopefully they'll agree and choose to do the same. It's just meant to be a bit of a laugh. So don't get too worked up about it.

tuvamoodyson · 02/10/2024 12:11

Send it out if you have to, I’d say ‘Jane has suggested the SS should be set at £30 this year…’