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AIBU?

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Original poster

I know there unreasonable but £30 is insane!

285 replies

FranksBank · 02/10/2024 12:05

To spend on someone you don't really like. For Sectet Santa

I am very PT and have been asked to arrange this, with them saying 'we knew you wouldn't want to join in because you don't celebrate it' Confused I do actually celebrate it but I'll gladly let them think I don't now!

Anyway, the budget the person asking me to arrange it has set is £30. They want me to send out the email asking people to opt in, and mention it's a £30 budget.

AIBU to actually ask what madness has embedded within her to think this is a fair amount?

I said 'Is that not very high?' And she said 'Sent it out after Halloween! They'll have time to save, won't they?' And she seemed very smug to announce this obvious information

It's a school. Nobody is rich.

OP posts:
angeldelite · 02/10/2024 12:41

BobbyBiscuits · 02/10/2024 12:11

I wouldn't call it a 'budget' as such. I'd just say please no gifts over £30, and less than that is totally fine.
I think it used to be tenner, then it went up to 20, at my work. But that was about 7 years ago.
As long as nobody feels they must spend that much then it should be OK.
I would discuss amongst my friends that I felt it was quite high, and how I will be spending a bit less.
Hopefully they'll agree and choose to do the same. It's just meant to be a bit of a laugh. So don't get too worked up about it.

Of course people are going to feel obliged to spend £30.

Wonderballs · 02/10/2024 12:41

We used to do a secret santa at work in which it was mandatory to either regift or give a secondhand item in good condition. It doesn’t sound like colleague is open to suggestions though so pushing back as a group is probably the only approach.

redtrain123 · 02/10/2024 12:41

£30 is a lot. Ours is now £20 and I was a little gobsmacked at that!

SiobhanSharpe · 02/10/2024 12:40

I'd go back to the colleague and say firmly that you feel very uncomfortable sending out a note asking everybody to spend £30 on secret santa.

Tell her you're handing it back as you don't want to be associated with it at all.

okayhescereal · 02/10/2024 12:40

Underlig · 02/10/2024 12:38

I wouldn’t do this. £30 on secret Santa is obscene. There’s a major cost of living crisis. I wouldn’t spend that on presents to my family.

right?! our family max is £20 pp!!!

angeldelite · 02/10/2024 12:40

£30 is insane. The average salary is our team is £120k but our limit has always been £10.

Needmorelego · 02/10/2024 12:39

£30 is about the amount I spend on my mum 😂

Tengreenbottles2 · 02/10/2024 12:39

Bloody hell! I don't even spend £30 on the people I actually love (apart from my children), let alone a colleague!! I have about 10 adults to buy presents for, I simply can't afford more than £15-20 each, and that includes my mum and dad.

If I got a request like that, I would be saying something about it straight away. ANd suggesting people "save up" for it?! The bloomin cheek! Is the person telling you to arrange it one of the better paid staff members, by any chance?

GoForARun · 02/10/2024 12:38

Ughh...

I'd tell her 'I'm sorry, I think it's a dreadful waste of people's time and money and I'd prefer not to be involved. Thanks'

cestlavielife · 02/10/2024 12:38

It s a maximum, though....so you could get a tx max item rrp £29 but pay £10 .
No one will know.

Underlig · 02/10/2024 12:38

I wouldn’t do this. £30 on secret Santa is obscene. There’s a major cost of living crisis. I wouldn’t spend that on presents to my family.

cliffdiver · 02/10/2024 12:37

I know you don’t give to receive and all that, but imagine spending £30 on a thoughtful present to be given a £2 selection box.

£10 should be the absolute max.

Does anyone really like Secret Santa?
At work a few years ago, I pulled my own name out the hat, kept quiet, and bought myself a nice bottle of wine.

soundsys · 02/10/2024 12:37

Hmm we have £30 in my work BUT work pay for it!

£30 out of your own pocket for a colleague is too much!

Fiver seems standard

ThisTentLikeThing · 02/10/2024 12:37

It would be a shame if there was a typo in the email which said the budget was £3. 😉

Strangerthanfictions · 02/10/2024 12:36

Tell it's secret Santa not secret millionaire. £30 of crap because the person barely knows me. Nah

Sethera · 02/10/2024 12:36

I wouldn't be keen on organising this even without the hefty budget. There's always trouble because at least one person 'forgets' to buy a gift; someone goes off long term sick, etc. etc. Any such issues will be magnified if £30 is at stake rather than the usually tenner.

sundayagainagain · 02/10/2024 12:36

All that will happen is that some people will buy random crap for £5 and pass it on as it being £30.

Dinoswearunderpants · 02/10/2024 12:35

I see 'budget' as the maximum. Spend £10 and be done with it.

Jaxhog · 02/10/2024 12:35

£30 isn't a lot if you're buying something you want. But it's way too much for secret Santa. I wouldn't do it.

Fromage · 02/10/2024 12:33

£30 is ridiculous. What a stupid amount to spend on someone at work, only to get some shitty piece of toot in return.

I like the charity shop/home made suggestion, and £5 budget. Fewer people will mind putting in a fiver when they get something disappointing in return.

Also I'm in favour of blacklisting participants who just scruffily wrap some bath salts or shite socks because they can't be bothered but want to join in and sod's law means they'll get something good in return.

Needmorelego · 02/10/2024 12:31

I would say "£5 is the recommended amount but no more than £10 if you want to spend more".
If she doesn't like it - she can organise it herself. She will soon find most people won't put their names in for it at 30 quid.

Bjorkdidit · 02/10/2024 12:29

£30 is a lot when people don't earn much and aren't very enthusiastic about participating. You're all effectively wasting £30 on an item you're unlikely to want.

Maximum £5 and it has to come from a charity shop (or school Christmas fayre or similar) is a good idea. Then the money goes to good causes and you can have a laugh at the randomness of what people buy.

Shinydress · 02/10/2024 12:29

I work in a high income industry and ours is £10 max

myfavouritemutant · 02/10/2024 12:29

bifurCAT · 02/10/2024 12:17

I hate how the first reply is ALWAYS someone correcting spelling or nitpicking terminology, etc of the OP!

🤣

Show quote history

But it was just the op correcting their own typos!

okayhescereal · 02/10/2024 12:28

think @crockofshite and @BobbyBiscuits have nailed it

'Mary has asked me to send this...' and 'This is completely optional and has a £30 spend limit, though less than that is completely acceptable!' finish with 'Please contact Mary with any questions'.

Job done!

Hate when I find something brilliant in a charity shop or a sale or something and then feel like it isn't good enough because it didn't hit the financial target. Think it should be more about the thought than the money!