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Original poster

To not be ready for the OW to meet my kids despite her being pregnant with their step sibling

57 replies

Mmmbop23 · 02/10/2024 11:29

STBXH and I split, just found out the OW is pregnant. I've not long given birth myself and there will be months between the two babies. I have a 7 year old with autism. Am I being unreasonable that I don't want him to have to deal with a step mum and step sibling just yet within less than a year of his dad leaving and him having a new sibling already even though the new baby will be his half sibling.

OP posts:
OuterSpaceCadet · 02/10/2024 12:58

What an utter selfish pricks they both are OP. What a shitty position they've put you and your kids in. I feel sorry for their baby, who is blameless in all this, having two such parents.

How does he propose to be a proper father to your shared baby, right now and also when the next baby is born? As he understandably cannot do extended periods of care due to feeding, presumably he's stepping in with frequent short support?

Is it OW's first baby? If so how does she plan to cope with that whilst supporting her partner's ongoing relationship with his other baby and child?

Or are they both hoping to pretend it's just the three of them?

hoglets · 02/10/2024 13:05

Mmmbop23 · 02/10/2024 11:59

Not very currently but would like to improve this. Fractured relationship with eldest currently.

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i would keep him at arms length until things are more stable. What a mess he and OW created esp with you having a baby. Nobody needs such people in their lives! Let him get a place and sort out proper regular contact then.

PassingStranger · 02/10/2024 13:27

Why do people keep having children?

FasterMichelin · 02/10/2024 13:34

Eww, what a twat.

I'm also embarrassed for the woman. Having a baby with a man she probably barely knows. And if they were together longer, even more embarrassing having a baby with a man who was clearly still shagging his wife despite "not being loved" or whatever crap he told her.

You have definitely won in this OP, I promise. She has to now raise a child with someone she KNOWS is a cheat. At least you got to be ignorant to his ways through your relationship and have the chance of meeting someone honest in the future.

I would take a step back, breathe, and let your child lead the way. I would say it's probably best for them to maintain good contact and get to know the OW. You can hate him, understandably, but your child will always love him.

FasterMichelin · 02/10/2024 13:35

OuterSpaceCadet · 02/10/2024 12:58

What an utter selfish pricks they both are OP. What a shitty position they've put you and your kids in. I feel sorry for their baby, who is blameless in all this, having two such parents.

How does he propose to be a proper father to your shared baby, right now and also when the next baby is born? As he understandably cannot do extended periods of care due to feeding, presumably he's stepping in with frequent short support?

Is it OW's first baby? If so how does she plan to cope with that whilst supporting her partner's ongoing relationship with his other baby and child?

Or are they both hoping to pretend it's just the three of them?

My money would be on him soon abandoning his first family. He sounds like a piece of s*.

hoglets · 02/10/2024 13:42

Also, how does the OW propose to stepparent a baby and a child with autism alongside her own new born?

Toomanysquishmallows · 02/10/2024 13:48

@FasterMichelin , that is exactly what my ex did , dd1 considers my dp to be her Dad .

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