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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not be ready for the OW to meet my kids despite her being pregnant with their step sibling

57 replies

Mmmbop23 · 02/10/2024 11:29

STBXH and I split, just found out the OW is pregnant. I've not long given birth myself and there will be months between the two babies. I have a 7 year old with autism. Am I being unreasonable that I don't want him to have to deal with a step mum and step sibling just yet within less than a year of his dad leaving and him having a new sibling already even though the new baby will be his half sibling.

OP posts:
ItWasOnAStarryNight · 02/10/2024 11:55

Probably best to let him get used to the step-sibling before the baby is born and then they can share that together.

SausageRoll2020 · 02/10/2024 11:53

You are not unreasonable to be unhappy with the situation but assuming the child's father has parental responsibility as well then he can introduce the child to whomever he pleases, as can you.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 02/10/2024 11:52

Nothing you can do, if it's what their dad wants. It's probably better that your DS has chance to get used to the new partner being around before the baby comes anyway. Otherwise it will go from being just his dad, to his dad and a whole other family, rather than being staged so he already has am established pattern of seeing his dad with her there and then the baby comes along.

It's terrible your ex has done this. He obviously isn't putting his kids first and you aren't wrong to feel the way you do about this all happening so quickly.

There just really isn't much you can do. The only way you'd be able to stop him foing what he wants on his time with the kids is to stop him seeing them himself. Which obviously is not an option, because he would easily gain access if he took it to court. Potentially 50/50.

Just to add step siblings and half siblings are completely different. The baby will be your children's half sibling, a step sibling doesn't share either parent, and half siblings share one parent.

LadyDanburysHat · 02/10/2024 11:39

There isn't a right time, and it's an absolute shitshow, but the facts are this woman is already pregnant, so I think sooner rather than later is better.

Original poster
Mmmbop23 · 02/10/2024 11:38

Obviously I'm not going to deprive my children of a relationship with their half sibling but they've already been through an enormous amount in such a short space of time. When is the right time? My son struggles with change due to his autism and he's already had an extremely difficult time with everything so far.

OP posts:
pinkfleece · 02/10/2024 11:33

There's nothing you can do I'm afraid. He's obviously a complete shit.

Hereward1332 · 02/10/2024 11:32

Why do you think it would be bad for your DC? Understandably you are raw, but what's best for the children?

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