To think adults don’t throw parties anymore?

We held a big Christmas party last year - took a huge amount of effort and expense. Won’t be doing the same this year as our hoped for impact - invitations to other social events and gatherings - haven’t been forthcoming.

We occasionally have dinner parties but I’m getting bored now of constantly hosting and never being invited back! Its also expensive.

I had a big party for my 40th and having one for 50. We have a big house though!

I've been invited to two 40th parties recently (one in bar one in a home) and I'm so exited for this phase to start again! I loved the 21st and 30th eras!

@GiRaFfeNeSs do more people work full time now though? When I think of my neighbours growing up in the 80s and 90s, the woman opposite had never worked, even after her kids were grown up. Another neighbour across the road worked as a dinner lady a couple of hours a day. My mum worked full time but only after my younger sister started school.

Last one I went to, everyone took a dish…,and their own alcohol ….my friends and family couldn’t afford 500 quid on a party

People are so flaky and unreliable nowadays. I wouldn't want to risk organising one and then for the people who have said they were coming to not bother.

That said I do love a good party.

I love throwing parties at our house, im not a fan of a venue party. I'd say a big factor influencing people is the cost. We did a BBQ and drinks for 30 people, we do the same most years as our family all have summer birthdays. Usually i don't look too closely at the cost but this year i sat down and worked out how much we had spent on food and drinks it was upwards of £500. Next year it will be a much smaller affair!!

I’ve only been to about 10 house parties since covid…..just not really a thing anymore 🤷‍♀️

Or depending on your age and how you were brought up, it was seen as acceptable to be steaming drunk and leave children to their own devices and also to drink and drive so you’d not have a taxi issue.

I had quite a big party in a bar for my 40th. Had a smaller party at home this weekend for my 50th. I am not giving up celebrating milestone birthdays, no way!

We have people round for dinner but never more than two or three at a time. We also make sure to serve something that can be prepared in advance and served without any last minute faffing about so we do have time to chat.

We have a big party in the garden every summer (it coincides with a birthday). Everyone loves it, we have a large garden but it costs a fortune and is a lot of hard work before and after. Partner loves it as do I, but we very rarely get invited back to anything, even a small gathering. (My sister is the only one who does something similar to us). I turn 60 next year and although I like the thought of a party I’m also thinking with the cost and work involved should we just bugger off on holiday, which is what most people do!

Yes! We used to be big party throwers but everyone is all over the place now and we’ve moved around so although we have loads of friends, many aren’t local.

I have to say that it does feel easier to meet a group down the pub where people fund themselves and if they drop out, it’s fine.

I don’t think people do dinner parties any more either. Easier to meet in a restaurant. And then you get a chance to actually chat.

I love a good party. We always have a summer one and then a pre-Christmas one at end of November before everyone gets tied up with their festive plans.

Yes we do. But all the parties I've been to recently have been birthday parties, not anniversary parties.

I do think people have less fun now than my parents did when I was a kid

Totally disagree but I think we just socialise differently.

My parents rarely went out to socialise but had friends round regularly and also went to friends houses. They very very rarely went to a bar and restaurants were special occasions only.

Whereas we tend to go out far far more. I go out socially every couple of weekends but it’s to a bar, a music event, a festival etc with friends. We rarely if ever go to each others homes to socialise as a group.

I love parties and give them all the time (early forties). All my friends think I'm bonkers for entertaining so much, but they all come and they all have a brilliant time. They all bring a bottle and quite often some sort of food, so actually it is so much less hassle and cost than you think. Once you're in the habit of it, it's easy. You don't have to go wild and silly about it - chuck crisps and hummus at people if that's all you feel like doing (just make sure there is some sort of food!). I've noticed that people have started having more parties around me. Once they realise the bar can be cheerfully low, they are less worried about it. My mother always said, "you never regret a party" and it's 100% true.

YANBU, though we still throw house parties, but it is very crowded, I wish we had more space... But we don't... Real friends will just crowd in and get on with it.

It's rubbish tho, I wish other people would reciprocate! "Oh it's so nice to see everyone together" yeah it is, why don't you host one too 😂😂😂

Love a party

I have a friend who used to organise great new year parties with good food and dancing and games — really memorable and still talked about by many. She doesn't do it now. People are getting older and don't want to leave the comfort of their own homes in the cold and dark. If it rains, people drop out. Half the population seems to have allergies and intolerances meaning that catering for a crowd is more complicated. Worst of all, a lot of people can't keep their eyes off their phones and just aren't present any more. I have a photo of her last party, where there was some great dancing. In the background, slumped on sofas, are half a dozen people gazing at their phones. Tech kills social events.

That sounds perfect.

I'm planning a big 55th birthday party for next year.

Why a 55th party, you say?

Because I didn't get to throw a 50th in 2020 because of covid, and I love a party!

It's an interesting question, we used to have quite a few big gatherings when we were younger (not sure I'd call them proper parties) but rarely do it now even though we have the space.

For us it's that everyone is so spread out over the country. Family live a couple of hours away (we both moved away for university and never went 'home'), old friends are all across the UK and since we work hybrid/remotely we don't have a pool of local work colleagues that we'd want to spend time with. With our local friends we're more likely to meet for dinner and drinks or have them round for a meal than have a big party. It also tends to be more spontaneous.

So getting everyone else together is like organising a wedding with dates needed months on advance, people needing to travel, and the cost of accommodation if we can't put them all up.

Add to that the huge cost of hosting, the cleaning before and after, juggling weekends with DCs' activities and the fact that people are so much more flaky about invitations.

I'd far rather do this. DH and I went through a phase of cruises before we had DC, and in those days we did used to have a longer stretch in port giving time to explore. For my birthday, which usually falls around Easter, I'd prefer a day at the coast or walking in the woods followed by a nice tapas.

Hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your way!

To all the posters saying its too much hassle. It's only as much hassle as you want to make it. All you really need it guests. People almost always bring more than they can drink with them. Providing food is optional. I usually do a half arsed buffet. And the dishwasher (or the bin) does the cleaning up.
Maybe I throw shit parties though

With house parties, might be because more people in their 40s rent these days and are worried about jeopardising their tenancy due to complaints or damage in their home.

Then, it used to be more affordable to book a venue but lots of places (e.g. pubs with upstairs rooms, community halls etc) have closed down in past 20-30 years. Or they’re shockingly expensive to hire.

Plus, I think everything’s got more commercial. When we used to throw parties back in the day, we borrowed and rigged up speaker stacks, mates DJed, we made our own food and decorated the place ourselves. These days, there’s less DIY spirit and people would rather pay for all that, but then can’t afford it.