To be annoyed that he's obsessed with walking everywhere?

You are not being unreasonable. The issue here isn’t the walking, it’s one person’s unwillingness/inability to compromise. If the relationship is to continue, this really needs to be sorted.

In your thread title you say that he is 'obsessed with walking everywhere'. That makes you sound like the unreasonable one because it feels like you are trying to frame him as being somehow weird or extreme for simply having a different preference to yours.

You also say at the end of your op that you 'don't understand his behaviour at all', which sounds very 'my way or the highway.'

Whether or not you are actually being unreasonable in practice depends on whether you manage to work out a compromise between you in terms of how often you get the bus.

I would certainly prefer walking in all the situations you descrivbe. I would find it relaxing and a good way to experience a new place. I also HATE waiting for buses, especially when you could already have been at least halfway to your destination before one shows up

I don't think you're compatible and I do think he should carry your bag (unless you are bringing along loads of unnecessary stuff everywhere). If you always complain about walking, I don't think he can be expected to know when you are in pain or just not wanting to.

Other than when you are in pain, I do think you are a bit lazy though, the way you talk about doing minimal walking "because he wanted to," like it's a favour and a big deal. If you wait for a bus, it can take just as long, cost money and not get exercise - objectively there's not a good reason, it's just laziness.

Can you compromise and get the bus if you are in pain or if it'll be there in less than 5mins? Just start getting it yourself and meeting him at the destination.

Did you tell him he had to carry the bags if he wants to walk? Of course you should be able to catch the bus if you want but generally for a 30 minute walk it wouldn't be worth it. Heavy bags or pouring rain do change things. Have you got a step counter? It can be very motivating to walk to get your steps up. I recommend you get him to carry any bags. It's lovely to walk free of weights.

It's just different approaches. I like to get incidental exercise and enjoy a walk (or did pre toddlers who take forever and who want to be carried everywhere) so I understand your husband. I also hate waiting 10 min for public transport if I could be halfway there in that time. If the bus is regular or on time, I'd consider it.
I don't understand why your bags are so heavy heading out as opposed to coming back. You could wear a backpack if you wanted to distribute the weight more or leave some stuff behind or of course just carry on catching the bus if it's your preference.

He doesn’t sound “very lovely” at all - he sounds controlling and is using walking as a way of creating a sense of superiority and oneup-manship on you.

it’s not about the walking, it’s having a sense of context ; if OP is tired, heavy bags, period, pain etc, don’t force her to walk FFS or make her feel bad.

I’ve had controlling exes and they tended to find ways to suggest I was weak in some way and eye roll if I was tired, needed to rest, etc. Horrible.

Been with my husband 25 years and he still wont let me carry a bag.

Oh and now we are both agreed that location is important when we are on holiday and prioritise being central over say having a pool.

I have an appointment today that’s a 30 minute walk away. I’ll be getting the bus there and back! Bus stop is 1 minute from my house and buses come every 5 minutes (or less) as I live in London. It’s not laziness for me, it’s efficiency.

I’m happy to do a “nice” walk. On holiday in a scenic place, great. Regular home to wherever journeys, no because it’s boring. And I definitely wouldn’t be walking with heavy bags.

If he wants to walk then let him walk but don’t be guilted/shamed into always having to walk too. Your choice is just as valid as his.

all of you seem to but I don’t have the time spare in my day for a 30/40 minute walk somewhere I need to be then the same back. It’s ok exercise but not something impactful like cardio/weights and just dead, wasted time. If I’m going somewhere I need to be there and have other things to do - I work full time with a 3 year old and would rather spend time with her than add 40 minutes away from her just walking. On a weekend for pleasure absolutely, but not just as a (painfully slow) means of getting somewhere.

DH can be a bit like this too.Normally I don't mind as I like walking too, but I put my foot down - quite literally- when we were in Porto and our hotel was a 35 minute walk up a steep hill, but literally beside the tram.
I was happy to walk up once a day, but not if we came back for a bit ( after walking all day) and then headed out for dinner. I think in DHs case he doesn't particularly like buses or trams.

It's not lazy at all and if the end point is a launch pad for more walking anyway then it might be a sensible assessment about how much energy you have available to you that day.

Oh god, all the walking evangelists. Op didn't want to walk carrying a heavy bag. Great that you all do but she didn't want to and her dp thinks his wants are more important. I'd have got the bus and told him I'd meet holim there OP. And why is he picking all the holiday accommodation? I always purposely pick somewhere close to amenities so I don't have to walk miles to go to a restaurant. Some of us have very active jobs and quite like to rest on holiday.

This is us too 😂

He hasnt stopped her getting the bus, he has just shown frustration or irritation about it though. Thats not controlling, thats quite rightly wondering why someone cant walk 30 mins

And if OP knew they were a 30 min walk, or even a bus ride from their destination why was she carrying such heavy bags that cant (she doesnt say this) be wheeled along, its hard enough to get hings like that on and off a bus, so why not a wheeled suitcase that you drag along, that would also frustrate me that she hadnt thought to bring suitable cases.

Same

I'd just take the bus in and meet him at the destination. You don't need to walk because he is.

I am assuming he also had his bag for the weekend? Hence not offering to carry yours?

People should be walking when they can

I get it with the heavy bags but it sounds like you just don't like walking anyway. 40 min walk into the city here from where we live and even our three kids aged 3,5 and 7 manage it there and back walking. I think it's lovely walking generally and its really good for you perhaps he is just trying to maintain a good level of stamina and health. Although if I had a train to catch with bags etc I def would take the bus in that scenario amd tell him I'd meet him there if he didn't want to...have a coffee whilst you wait at your destination!

I’d always take the walk, but not with a heavy bag. Some people like to walk, others are more lazy and drive or get the bus short distances. Who is he to judge people who are different to him. I love walking and am in a walking group, regularly do 5-8 mile walks, but if i’ve got a heavy bag I’d take the bus.

I find it far more unusual for an able bodied person (which I’m presuming you both are OP) to get a bus for a journey of a mile or so rather than a 20/30 minute walk.
I’ve just got back from holiday and we always choose a place a nice 20 minute or so walk from the centre and love the evening stroll into town and back.

Sorry OP but I’m with your partner. Catching a bus for such a short journey I would find a bit lazy tbh

Everyone commenting about how they prefer to walk etc are completely missing the point. It is about his failure to compromise that is the problem. He sounds quite controlling and I can understand how this would be very frustrating. He doesn't care about OP's preferences, he just wants to get his own way about this every single time which is very unfair. OP I think you need to sit him down and have a serious conversation about this and tell him how it makes you feel. You have different preferences, that is fine but he needs to be prepared to compromise.

It's not OK that he makes you feel bad for wanting to do a normal thing, like taking a bus. What else does he not approve of? Couldn't live like this myself

We have a general rule of thumb, if it is less than 3 miles and not the middle of the night or deep in snow etc we walk. Often we will walk further and most of our holidays are walking ones.

When I had a detailed medical last year the nurse commented that my blood pressure, digestive system and bone strength were far better than average for a woman in her 60s.

Regular exercise is the best gift you can give your body.

Having said that, I'm happy to catch a bus occasionally.