AIBU to hate the ongoing concept that 'the man must propose'?

I haven't seen the other thread but it drives me nuts when I see threads about women waiting around for a man to propose as if they have no agency over their own lives. We should be challenging these notions.

There is no problem with people doing the traditional proposal etc if that's what they want to do, but we should also be teaching young women that they can take the initiative too if they want to. Surely in most mature, healthy relationships, the topic of future plans just comes up quite naturally?

This thread is bad taste given that there's clearly a thread at the moment about this so you're directing at that OP. So what if people like following some traditions, surely that's up to them. Just like it's up to you not to.

I find the "Ooo, he's going to propose / hasn't proposed" threads bizarre. I don't know people like that in real life. I mean, I'm sure I work with some, but that helpless passive attitude to proposing is really weird.

We agreed we wanted to marry and he proposed on a day we both knew he would. So a bit of both I suppose? It was still romantic and I am a bit traditional in some ways. We have a very equal relationship and actually have our own unique surname that we chose together.

Men really, really, do not like being proposed to. Some things are best left as they are.

I completely agree. I fail to see what is romantic about having no agency in the timing of a huge life decision.
My DH and I got married after mutually agreeing that it was about time we did. I also kept my surname.

I agree, me and my partner just agreed one night to get engaged but I'm not very traditional or romantic

I liked the romance of being proposed to. Some old fashioned traditions are lovely.

I would never have proposed to my husband. But I guess if he wasn’t the romantic gesture type, we may have just drifted into marriage by mutual agreement. I do think it’s a bit daft when women on here who live with their partner and have children together, are waiting for the big proposal and an engagement. It seems a bit silly at that stage in life.

The thing I find so outdated is women not giving their kids their own surname. The whole thing about agreeing to get engaged is so ridiculous. Just agree to get married and do it. It doesn't need anyone to "propose".

I want to be proposed to not do the proposing. And when it happens, and we get married, I will change my name. It's traditional and I like that.

Many of the customs around marriage are outdated. Taking the man's name, the man proposing and buying a ring, the father giving away the bride. As well as the absolutely ridiculous amount of money people spend on one day.

Some women are so eager to get married they'll march a mop with a hat down the aisle because they've been sold a load of crap since they were children.

I completely agree. I suppose I’m a hypocrite because I was proposed to, however, that was just the rubber stamp, we’d pretty much agreed we were going to get married by that point and even roughly when we were going to get engaged. I’m amazed more people don’t question it - that and changing your surname (I didn’t).