to wonder HOW single parents cope

Well, it isn’t easy!

But it’s a lot easier than doing it all anyway with a lazy arse many sitting about watching you.

Mine are a bit older than yours now.

It does help if you can afford a cleaner, and things like HelloFresh/ Gousto or that type of thing. Even the simply cook spice boxes take some of the thinking out of it for me. And the occasional pizza or similar never did anyone any harm!

It's easier to get into a routine when it's just one adult and the child(ren). Once we settled in it became so much easier

Cantacewons

" I'm doing hundred percent of everything "

Does your husband live with you and financially pay for yours/ childrens lives? Does he speak to you about decision making?

You are being offensive. Even more so by your comment, unless he doesn't live with you or pay in which case i apologise

You'll be fine, I left my ex when we had a 7 week old, and a 21 month old who was SEN. No one believed at the time, but 6 months later they do.
Also an older DC but she's not much bother.
Like everything else ypu figure it out.

Mt best tip for you? Make a massive spaghetti bol recipe early in the week, first night you've got spaghetti bol, 2nd night left over sauce goes into a lasagne, if you made enough for a 3rd night, you put in your kidney beans, cumin, and coriander and a bit of chilli and you've got a chilli. It saves me loads of time on night 2/3. (I do make a huge batch, and it helps that DD is the only one who eats a full portion)

Hope everything goes well for you, OP.

I have 5 children and would find it incredibly difficult to manage alone without my husband. Likewise, he would struggle without me. But both of us would make it work because if the situation occurs, you simply have to. There isn't really another good choice.

I wasn't trying to offend.

Just giving advice from a person who does 100% of everything.

Thanks everyone. Things have just become toxic and the respect is gone (if it were ever there to begin with!).
I’ve always said I’d never choose a man over my kids but by staying in this mess, I already am because I’m half functioning as a mum after yet another row.
I’m done. Have no idea how it looks practically as he won’t leave, but I am done!

Could have written this op. I already carry almost all of the emotional load. I'm going to be checking my financial situation out over the next few weeks but I think I will be okay. I'm in the process of building a more robust social life and potenital support network. Things are progressing but probably not as fast as I would like.

The thought of doing it alone is honestly so much scarier than the reality of actually doing it! You gradually find your own routines and way of doing things…and it’s so much easier than living life in a toxic relationship

There’s just literally no other option than to crack on for me

You cope because you have to. Been at it for 15 years. Routine is everything - my biggest hate is packed lunches and very occasionally I rebel against myself and don't do them of an evening and then regret it the next day!

YouTube is useful for trying to fix hoovers unblock drains etc etc I have expensive 'Home Care' with British Gas that deals with emergencies. Well worth the money. I have a builder, handyman and car mechanic I trust to do a good job at a fair price. And o er the years I've learnt that you can sort anything if you throw enough money at it!

I found it easier in a way because I had so much more mental energy. I hadn't realised how low I was in mood and it was like a cloud lifted!

Tips wise- Deliveroo was a god send for emergency milk/bread after the kids went to bed.
Filled the freezer with delicious ready meals like from Cook.
Hot lunches in school so you can get away with picky plate dinners

Will your dh want 50:50? What arrangements do you imagine will happen?

We cope because there is zero other option. You get used to it anyway.

We cope because we have to.

Like PPs have said, you and DC are a team.

I've found having low standards in regards to housework helps!

Always make sure you've got either a pint of milk in the freezer, or long life in the cupboard just in case.

I classed myself as a married single mother when I was married.

When I was no longer married and really a single parent (with no eow or any support) I look back and think to myself how naive that was.

The physical side is the easy part tbh. It's the emotional, financial and absolute solo responsibility side that is the most difficult.

@tearsandtiaras , I agree

This. DS's dad has never once texted/e-mailed/phoned to ask how DS is. DS doesn't like him so now refuses to go. ExH doesn't care. Hasn't seen him for 6 months. Means I do 100% of everything. It's exhausting but who else will look after him?

If you are married and living together/ sharing finances - you are not "basically a single parent"

As a single parent - from your OP-

Batch cook dinner when kids are asleep then just reheat when they are with you

shower and hour before they get up or when they are in bed

I find it tough but at my lowest points I remind myself that I don't have to live with ex anymore.

"Try see you and the DC as a team now. Teach them consistently and early to take responsibility for themselves as age appropriate. Share the load as much as possible between everyone*

Absolutely this. In fact everything in @IhateSPSS post.

But I have always referred to the DC and me as our team. As at times we have had to muddle through together. I think it's very okay for them to see you cannot do everything alone, and so my dc have been brought up on a 'we all all chip in' basis. In doing that it also helped with independence that now as young adults, is quite noticeable when they are around friends/partners of their own age. They just seem more sensible somehow too.

I'm married but I'm basically a single mother.

I think it's all about getting into routines. Make it so that you automatically strip the beds every Monday etc. You'll be amazed how much you can get done in an hour or so after bed time too if you don't get distracted.