AIBU to think Private School isn’t worth the expense?

I'm a primary school teacher in a state school. There is a private school right next to our school (both in quite a middle class area which might make a difference). Our school got outstanding in its last inspection report so to me it seems so ridiculous to pay for your child to go to the school next door. I'm in Northern Ireland though so our school system is a bit different as it's still predominantly faith schools here. The majority of teachers have all been trained the same. It's down to catchment area, class sizes and how the school is run by management. If your child is a capable child with a decent teacher, no matter the school they should still progress well. Of course bullying etc can effect a child's progress but that's true in any school.

I don't believe that's true, sadly. Also A levels are very different to GCSES.

My DS got outstanding GCSEs at a "requires improvement" state school. If kids have the determination and encouragement they'll still achieve well.

It’s mainly about shitty parenting not bad children.

Oh and behaviour? Far far better at the private school. No daily fights for a start!

I live in a mixed area school wise, and that is reflected in my kid's social circles. I hear terrible behaviour stories from all types of schools.

It was worth it for us. Dc was pretty average in year 6 state primary. There were some really bright kids in his, small class of about 16 kids. Dc and another child went to private school and those two ended up being the only ones from that primary class that went to a RG university. All the rest went to the local state, and even the kid that was in all the top sets at state and was stellar at primary ended up at Reading. Nothing wrong with Reading but clearly her grades weren't amazing. Dc ended up with 2 x A star and an A. I totally believe that the school helped them get there.

We didn’t choose prep school to ensure grades. It’s more about experience for them and for us. I’m a paying customer, so the level of customer service from the school is very good.

The facilities are excellent. Lots of different opportunities for dance/drama/art/languages from age 5, as well as fantastic sports facilities. My 8 year old is progressing really well with French, plays hockey and lacrosse, as well as football and has been learning the violin for the past couple of years. Opportunities he wouldn’t have had at the local Outstanding infants school where he attended Reception.

Don’t mind if my DC decide not to go to uni in future. Hopefully they’ll be happy and find a path they enjoy through life.

It’s a value judgement though. The cost of our fees doesn’t impact our ability to do what we want elsewhere…

One of my friend’s really struggles to afford school fees (e.g. her oven broke, they couldn’t afford another one for a while!!). In her shoes, I think she would have been better off sending her DC to the local school, tutoring and spending money on other enriching experiences. I wouldn’t put private education above a certain standard of living. It’s nice, not necessary.

Sorry have RTFT and see Bristol state schools don’t appear to be well regarded by the locals who are commenting. I’d pull leavers destinations and grades from each school and take it from there. If OP isn’t bothered about grades I would go state and see if you feel their needs are adequately met.

What are Bristol state schools like? Good grammars? Most who pay privately are concerned about behaviour and aspirations of other children (obviously their own are immaculately behaved). It’s personal choice. Where we are based there is what I hear clearly as a Kent accent, which I think is a bit limiting, irrespective of grades. Often those paying for private secondary have the expectation of a Russell Group university place, that’s not to say you couldn’t get one anyway, more that they are looking at leavers data and noting a high proportion are offered. Gimble gamble! How bright is the child you are sending? Would they make good progress at any school?

@mugboat I think you are very lucky to not live in a safety valve area and it's nice to hear parts of the country don't have many issues.

In my area, children are excluded if their behaviour is very disruptive. 2 of my neighbours have children who attend special schools which are far away (I see the mini bus come and collect them). My own children attend a 3 form entry sch and they have good SEN provision. My friend's child attended a terrible school, but she moved her to a different state primary nearby and this is much better.

There are some schools struggling, but most areas have decent provision. And in our area, there are more school places and larger catchments due to a declining birthrate... meaning it is easier to get your child into a school of your choice.

Ha yes I take your point about twitter. But I am genuinley surprised you feel this is a rare unusual hardly ever happens thing. I've sat through so many meetings about just this issue. The crisis in sen is huge and the safety valve agreement in some LA areas has massively increased complex needs in the classroom. It's a mess.

I'm a huge believer in state education. It's where I work and where one of my children thrived (other is at a special school paid for by the LA)

@Allfur i don’t disagree with your last comment but it would be naive to believe that some schools don’t have more problems then others. I went to a private school and dh did say that the worst behaved kids at our school would have been average if not good behaviour for some other schools. skipping class and smoking was pretty much as bad as behaviour got. there was no being aggressive towards teachers, destroying school property etc.

only once did a teacher run out the class once in tears when a fight broke out in class but that was the only time there was ever a disruption

I am sure it is happening in some schools in some classes... but this is definitely not a common occurance.
I find that Twitter is rather hyperbolic and wouldn't use this as an indication of the general state of the nation's primary schools.
According to Twitter, London is a no-go area where people walk around cowering in fear of being attacked by immigrants.

But we are all talking about it?

There's masses of threads that start with aibu my sons class was evacuated today and loads go, yeah this happens a lot and lots of children hardly notice as its standard. They all just get told they are doing thier daily mile or heading to the library to pick a book.

There have been long twitter threads from the behaviour tzar saying he thinks its terrible practice and slt should come remove the child not the class leave.

Whilst, every class is not being evacuated several times a day, it is entirely feasible that particular posters child was in a class where that was happening for a short time. She even says her her other child class was not like that.

And obviously not all state school kids set bins on fire, what a ridiculous notion, there are bad apples in all walks of life

I am not a teacher now, but I have children at a state primary and have lots of friends who have children at other local primaries. If classes were constantly needing to be evacuated (as someone said this happens several times a day) I think we would all be talking about it.

I am sure that is the protocol for children attacking teachers, but I simply do not believe this happens in state primaries up and down the land.

well, this never happened in the schools I taught at, at my daughters' school or at any of my friends' kids schools. If classes up and down the country were constantly having to evacuate (someone said this happened several times a day) it would be well known.

There's not much I can say if you don't believe it.

However it is the standard advice given by STIPs in my area and if a child with very complex needs that has meltdowns is in a class, that is what happens, sometimes several times a day. Not every day, not every single class but it also not uncommon or rare to be in a primary school where that happens.

@mugboat when did you last teach? It sounds like your experience isn't in line with what is currently happening in schools.

@mugboat yes if a child starts attacking a teacher then the protocol is that the class is evacuated. If the child is having a bad day that can happen several times. It only takes a couple of children with special needs for this to be the case.

I do not believe that it's common practice to evacuate a primary class several times a day.

disrupt the class enough that the class needs to be evacuated several times a day?

It's really common in primary in my area. The Local Authority doesn't have enough special school places and increasingly complex children are placed mainstream where they can't cope. They have meltdowns (not naughty behaviour but a fairly inevitable consequence of being in the wrong place with the wrong support) and the standard advice is to evacuate the rest of the class to keep them safe. I work across 4 schools, and my children went to a further sets of schools and this was a very common procedure in the last 3-5 years.