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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH and planning - how do you do it?

53 replies

Butnothingsclear · 01/10/2024 17:19

So recently;

I found out DH was away overnight soon through his friends wife mentioning it. Not the first time.

Found out by accident he’d invited relative and her friend for food (he was cooking but I’d already put something in the calendar for us all which I then had to cancel)

Found out he’s got another night/day away soon - only because it accidentally came out.

This morning I suggested doing something tonight, found out he’s got someone coming around.

Same with what he does around the house. Just cracks on with DIY without talking about plans together.

He likes to be spontaneous. I like planning. I like to have things to look forward to. I like to know if he’s away so I can plan my time.

AIBU to ask you how you plan family time? How do you agree if and where to go out/on holiday etc.

OP posts:
HildegardeofBingen · 01/10/2024 17:24

We have a house diary where we put down meetings, social arrangements etc for the coming week. This also helps us to decide who has priority with the car we share.

For something that had a particular impact on the other - inviting people round for a meal, going away etc - we'd almost certainly check with the other before making firm commitments.

We also talk at breakfast about what's happening that day, to ensure nothing's been forgotten.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 01/10/2024 17:23

We speak to each other.

He's being incredibly disrespectful by not communicating with you.

Matilda1981 · 01/10/2024 17:23

We discuss things with each other!!! We generally don’t go out a lot, but my husband will check I’ve not got plans and vice versa before we finalise plans with other people, if we’re going to be going out together to a party generally tell him we’ve been invited out and then I’ll sort a sitter etc (we go out together more than we go out separately) but it l’s all about communication and respect for each other!