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AIBU?

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AIBU to overtake a hearse?

409 replies

confusedabouthormones · 01/10/2024 12:10

So today on the way home from school I had just pulled onto a dual carriageway and there was a hearse with some cars behind it. They were going to a near by crematorium. I pulled into the outside lane and drove past it.

My mother was in the car and she had a right go at me for being disrespectful and how she was embarrassed to be in my car. When I looked in my mirror no one else had passed the hearse.

Is this a thing? In my 30 odd years driving I've never heard this.

Was I being unreasonable to pass the hearse?

OP posts:
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Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:14

@DavidBeckhamsrightfoot funeral processions are allowed to go through red lights if the hearse went through when the lights were green.
This is providing it's safe of course.
I see a lot of horse drawn hearses where I live and just the other day I saw one where the horses waited patiently at the red light and then on green went and the lead undertaker stood in the junction to signal to other traffic to wait until all the cars had followed through.
It was slower than usual because it was horses and they were doing a sharp turn.
Not one other vehicle beeped or anything which I thought was lovely as it's usually a terrible junction for impatientness.

evilharpy · 01/10/2024 13:13

LLresident · 01/10/2024 13:10

Yes it is disrespectful.

Did you see that the OP said it was a dual carriageway?

Projectme · 01/10/2024 13:12

ManchesterLu · 01/10/2024 12:14

Partner works in the funeral business - he says it's absolutely fine to overtake on a dual carriageway, but not on a single lane road (but people still do!)

Also not cool to split the hearse from the limos at junctions/roundabouts.

I'm cringing as I type this but I (unknowingly) did this years ago. difficult to explain but there was a roundabout on a dual carriageway with a stream of cars moving across the roundabout and I was merging from a different road onto the roundabout and I merged into this stream of cars (as you normally would). They were all going well under the speed limit for the dual carriageway so I pulled out into the right hand lane and gradually sped up to the speed limit and as a i did this, I overtook the hearse! 😩 I must have been about 90 cars back from the hearse when I joined the dual carriageway and hadn't seen the hearse from my view point.

I was utterly MORTIFIED. I still want to cry about it and this was about 20 years ago.

I subsequently found out from the local rag that the funeral was for a person who was from a HUGE local family hence why there were about 100+ cars in the cortege

Notreat · 01/10/2024 13:12

Yes it's very disrespectful. It happened at my brother's funeral recently and it meant some of the cars that were following the hearse were split off from the main funeral party. They were very upset.

itwasnevermine · 01/10/2024 13:12

samedifferent · 01/10/2024 13:11

Would procession really expect normal road rules not to apply such as Junctions, give way and roundabouts?

Traditionally they don't We were taught to let the procession past by on a roundabout or junction.

But say there's 10 cars in a procession - how do you know? Do you all just stop at roundabouts and risk an accident? Life goes on

samedifferent · 01/10/2024 13:11

Would procession really expect normal road rules not to apply such as Junctions, give way and roundabouts?

Traditionally they don't We were taught to let the procession past by on a roundabout or junction.

LLresident · 01/10/2024 13:10

Yes it is disrespectful.

GinnyPiggie · 01/10/2024 13:10

After there's a couple of cars behind the hearse, you'd have no idea it was a hearse because you wouldn't be able to see - so of course any driver would overtake on a dual carriageway.

If I was one or two cars behind then I would probably not overtake.

Maddy70 · 01/10/2024 13:09

Awful behaviour sorry

Smartphonesarerubbish · 01/10/2024 13:08

Probably rude but I don’t drive so not sure of etiquette

last year I pressed a pedestrian button crossing just as a hearse went past. I realised my error but it was too late. The hearse drove through and all the other cars with mourners in had to wait whilst I crossed the road. I still feel awful now when I think of it. I’m such a dick! It really messed up their procession
as other cars ended up behind and the hearse had to pull over and wait. I had to walk past and I could feel their eyes on me! Then about 20 minutes later I walked past the church as they were all getting out. 😭

DavidBeckhamsrightfoot · 01/10/2024 13:08

Beenhereforever1978 · 01/10/2024 13:01

We were told by our funeral director to all have our lights on so it was clear who was following to traffic waiting at junctions and roundabouts. Didn't make a blind bit of difference and we still ended up with a kid in a Nissan micra in the cortege!

Would procession really expect normal road rules not to apply such as Junctions, give way and roundabouts?

evilharpy · 01/10/2024 13:07

WomenInConstruction · 01/10/2024 12:58

I like the old school approach of acknowledging someone else's funeral procession and adjusting your manners around it.
It gives a community feel, like, one of our number has fallen.
When I was a kid if a hearse went by most people on the pavement would stop turn to face the hearse with lowered head and take their hat off... Don't see that very often now.
It was good, felt like there was an awareness of other people and that we all touch each others lives.

But that has to be balanced with some pragmatism in cases where it would gridlock the motorway if we all crawled for 5 miles... So respectful, balanced with what's practically sensible would be a fair choice I think

That is very much still a thing here (town of about 10,000 people. When a funeral procession passes down the main street, many people including staff will stand outside the shops they were in with heads bowed.

Peregrina · 01/10/2024 13:07

On a dual carriageway it could have been a lot more than that, leading to fairly major congestion behind.

When my parents died the nearest crematorium was 15 miles away along a stretch of dual carriageway. I am pretty sure that the hearse itself speeded up when it was on it. OK, it wasn't doing 70 but it was going at the same speed as the lorries. When it turned off to the approach to the Crematorium then it slowed down.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 01/10/2024 13:06

On a dual carriageway I would overtake snd I have done. As long as you weren't revving your engines and roaring past at 100mph you're fine. On a single carriageway of any description no you shouldn't.

Beenhereforever1978 · 01/10/2024 13:06

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe this was many many years ago, but I agree that automatic lights these days would render it moot.

Hollietree · 01/10/2024 13:06

We have a dual carriage way and a funeral home close to where we live. So there are funeral cars on the road most days of the week.

Single lanes roads = absolutely no overtaking ever acceptable.

Dual carriage way = people here do drive past on the outside lane but much slower than speed limit. Eg the funeral cars are going around 30mph and people overtake at about 40mph and then speed back up to 70 only once they are well past and out of sight. If the funeral cars are coming up to a junction/roundabout then everyone hangs back behind.

Drinkdrinkduuurink · 01/10/2024 13:06

Boobygravy · 01/10/2024 12:14

I wouldn't overtake, it's just a few minutes to show respect.

Yes.

Basic paying respect to the dead.

Your poor mum OP.

Boomer55 · 01/10/2024 13:05

Disrespectful. No wonder your mother was angry.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/10/2024 13:05

CountAdhemar · 01/10/2024 13:01

Only the second?

It is only Tuesday and I've been out mostly. Grin

starfishmummy · 01/10/2024 13:04

Dual carriageway is fine. I think the not doing it on other roads is so you don't have to cut in to the procession (if there is one) if there is oncoming traffic.

evilharpy · 01/10/2024 13:04

goodluckbinbin · 01/10/2024 12:39

Would it have killed you
to have waited and shown a little thought and respect for a family who have lost someone?
YABU. I would have waited. I’m from Ireland and a funeral procession can hold up traffic because no one wants to zoom past a hearse, which is how it should be.

I'm from NI and the main road between the local hospital and our town, where the local undertaker is, is a dual carriageway with a 70mph speed limit. Nobody would ever overtake a hearse in town or on a single lane, but equally nobody would ever sit behind a hearse on the dual carriageway. That's just not a thing.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/10/2024 13:03

Beenhereforever1978 · 01/10/2024 13:01

We were told by our funeral director to all have our lights on so it was clear who was following to traffic waiting at junctions and roundabouts. Didn't make a blind bit of difference and we still ended up with a kid in a Nissan micra in the cortege!

So many cars now have automatic lights that I imagine it was a mistake. 'Lights on' isn't something I've heard of.

itwasnevermine · 01/10/2024 13:02

desparateidiot · 01/10/2024 13:01

its seen as disrespectful

I also let funeral cars into junctions, the hearse and the funeral party and if I am on foot I normally stop and bow my head - it may just be an age thing

On a dual carriageway? Surely not.

You can't stop on a main road to let 5+ cars out. It's dangerous. Maybe in less car-focused times it was easier but these days it's just not safe.

TheCatterall · 01/10/2024 13:02

Dual carriage way and motorways are acceptable overtaking occasions. Single lane roads - definitely not.

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