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Original poster

AIBU to overtake a hearse?

409 replies

confusedabouthormones · 01/10/2024 12:10

So today on the way home from school I had just pulled onto a dual carriageway and there was a hearse with some cars behind it. They were going to a near by crematorium. I pulled into the outside lane and drove past it.

My mother was in the car and she had a right go at me for being disrespectful and how she was embarrassed to be in my car. When I looked in my mirror no one else had passed the hearse.

Is this a thing? In my 30 odd years driving I've never heard this.

Was I being unreasonable to pass the hearse?

OP posts:
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6
Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:23

@itwasnevermine maybe - but whether people would actually get a ticket I have no idea.

Smartphonesarerubbish · 01/10/2024 13:22

Smartphonesarerubbish · 01/10/2024 13:08

Probably rude but I don’t drive so not sure of etiquette

last year I pressed a pedestrian button crossing just as a hearse went past. I realised my error but it was too late. The hearse drove through and all the other cars with mourners in had to wait whilst I crossed the road. I still feel awful now when I think of it. I’m such a dick! It really messed up their procession
as other cars ended up behind and the hearse had to pull over and wait. I had to walk past and I could feel their eyes on me! Then about 20 minutes later I walked past the church as they were all getting out. 😭

…one or two definitely recognised me too as I walked past 😢

kitsuneghost · 01/10/2024 13:22

Where are you from?
Some places are more set in traditions than others

SleepyTerrier · 01/10/2024 13:22

This reply has been withdrawn

Post withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Beenhereforever1978 · 01/10/2024 13:22

There you go OP. Even a funeral director says you're fine on a dual carriageway with two lanes.

AIBU to overtake a hearse?
MissSkegness1951 · 01/10/2024 13:21

I wouldn't overtake a hearse or the mourners car. It just seems very disrespectful.

itwasnevermine · 01/10/2024 13:21

Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:19

@itwasnevermine apologies if I am incorrect.
Maybe it's an unwritten rule then - not the highway code (I'm a non driver so have never read it).
In the scenario I saw the other vehicles would have had to run the undertaker over so there wasn't much they could do.

Edited

No, there is no unwritten rule. It is the law that cars stop at red lights.

Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:20

@DavidBeckhamsrightfoot as I just said above I know realise it's probably an "unwritten rule".
My mistake.

rainydays03 · 01/10/2024 13:20

confusedabouthormones · 01/10/2024 12:13

OMG! Really! Even on a dual carriage way!
Wow.
Agreed lesson learned.

Gosh feel a right douche now.

Never in a million years would I think this is disrespectful! It’s not like you squashed past it on a country lane, it was a dual carriageway. I actually think this is crazy, what if you had to stay behind it for miles!

Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:19

@itwasnevermine apologies if I am incorrect.
Maybe it's an unwritten rule then - not the highway code (I'm a non driver so have never read it).
In the scenario I saw the other vehicles would have had to run the undertaker over so there wasn't much they could do.

DappledThings · 01/10/2024 13:19

Projectme · 01/10/2024 13:12

I'm cringing as I type this but I (unknowingly) did this years ago. difficult to explain but there was a roundabout on a dual carriageway with a stream of cars moving across the roundabout and I was merging from a different road onto the roundabout and I merged into this stream of cars (as you normally would). They were all going well under the speed limit for the dual carriageway so I pulled out into the right hand lane and gradually sped up to the speed limit and as a i did this, I overtook the hearse! 😩 I must have been about 90 cars back from the hearse when I joined the dual carriageway and hadn't seen the hearse from my view point.

I was utterly MORTIFIED. I still want to cry about it and this was about 20 years ago.

I subsequently found out from the local rag that the funeral was for a person who was from a HUGE local family hence why there were about 100+ cars in the cortege

Show quote history

What are you mortified about? There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. There's no obligation to consider whether any car other than the hearse and a limo or two is part of any procession and following a hearse doesn't absolve you from the other rules of the road.

This is a daft thing to have been thinking badly about 10 minutes later let alone years.

LBFseBrom · 01/10/2024 13:19

ArnieandBob · 01/10/2024 13:17

We were on a dual.carriageway with my granddad's funeral many years ago, a young lad roared by in his little sporty Fiesta, I'll never forget it, we were all so upset at his lack of respect. He would have only needed to get behind us for 10 minutes or so.

Edited

He was young, Arnie, try and forget it. Anyway it was on a dual carriageway and hardly impacted you.

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 01/10/2024 13:18

confusedabouthormones · 01/10/2024 12:15

Ah ok. I wouldn't do it on a residential road and I wouldn't split the hearse and the limo. But thought on a dual carriage way it was ok.

@confusedabouthormones

Don't feel bad. It was a dual carriage way, it's not that terrible. It's not the same as impatiently overtaking on a single lane road.

i wouldn't do it, but wouldn't condemn someone for doing it.

DavidBeckhamsrightfoot · 01/10/2024 13:17

Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:14

@DavidBeckhamsrightfoot funeral processions are allowed to go through red lights if the hearse went through when the lights were green.
This is providing it's safe of course.
I see a lot of horse drawn hearses where I live and just the other day I saw one where the horses waited patiently at the red light and then on green went and the lead undertaker stood in the junction to signal to other traffic to wait until all the cars had followed through.
It was slower than usual because it was horses and they were doing a sharp turn.
Not one other vehicle beeped or anything which I thought was lovely as it's usually a terrible junction for impatientness.

Do you have a link to back that up.
Because Google said no they do not.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/coping_with_grief/practicalissues_funeralprocession.shtml#:~:text=Contrary%20to%20what%20you%20might,roundabouts%20or%20at%20traffic%20lights.

BBC - Relationships - Coping with grief - Funeral processions - etiquette and the law

A guide to the law relating to funeral processions

https://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/coping_with_grief/practicalissues_funeralprocession.shtml#:~:text=Contrary%20to%20what%20you%20might,roundabouts%20or%20at%20traffic%20lights.

ArnieandBob · 01/10/2024 13:17

We were on a dual.carriageway with my granddad's funeral many years ago, a young lad roared by in his little sporty Fiesta, I'll never forget it, we were all so upset at his lack of respect. He would have only needed to get behind us for 10 minutes or so.

Saphire123 · 01/10/2024 13:17

Don't feel too bad, and though it's acceptable on a dual carriageway, it's still respectful to wait, imo.

LBFseBrom · 01/10/2024 13:17

Apollo365 · 01/10/2024 12:12

On a dual carriageway - no you were fine

I agree, it's OK on a dual carriageway, otherwise you just stay in a queue, short of your journey being an emergency of course.

Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:17

@Projectme sometimes when it a really big funeral police will help stop/direct traffic.

Okbyethen · 01/10/2024 13:17

On a dual carriageway I would overtake. I wouldnt wizz past at 100mph or anything but I'd definitely overtake albeit slowly.

RedHelenB · 01/10/2024 13:17

Yabu. You don't overtake a hearse as a mark of respect.

samedifferent · 01/10/2024 13:17

But say there's 10 cars in a procession - how do you know? Do you all just stop at roundabouts and risk an accident? Life goes on

This why the PP said the funeral director had told them to keep their lights on. Sometimes they use their hazards, sometimes there are cards in the dashboards.

DappledThings · 01/10/2024 13:16

Notreat · 01/10/2024 13:12

Yes it's very disrespectful. It happened at my brother's funeral recently and it meant some of the cars that were following the hearse were split off from the main funeral party. They were very upset.

How were cars split off from the hearse by someone else overtaking the hearse in a second lane?

It's been about 100 more comments since my last post and still not a single one of the posters saying it's unacceptable have acknowledged we are taking about a second lane which is entirely different to a single lane road.

itwasnevermine · 01/10/2024 13:16

Needmorelego · 01/10/2024 13:14

@DavidBeckhamsrightfoot funeral processions are allowed to go through red lights if the hearse went through when the lights were green.
This is providing it's safe of course.
I see a lot of horse drawn hearses where I live and just the other day I saw one where the horses waited patiently at the red light and then on green went and the lead undertaker stood in the junction to signal to other traffic to wait until all the cars had followed through.
It was slower than usual because it was horses and they were doing a sharp turn.
Not one other vehicle beeped or anything which I thought was lovely as it's usually a terrible junction for impatientness.

Totally untrue.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/copingwithhgrief/practicalissuesfuneralprocession.shtml#:~:text=Contrary%20to%20what%20you%20might,roundabouts%20or%20at%20traffic%20lights.

MurdoMunro · 01/10/2024 13:15

Going steadily past on a dual carriageway or motorway, I’m with you OP. Have done that and will continue to. Obviously as others have said on other roads no (unless indicated to do so, which has happened).

coffeesaveslives · 01/10/2024 13:15

OP, you're fine - honestly!