Details that made a wedding

I thought speeches were always at the end - over coffee

Ideally no more than three, no more than 5 mins each

I can’t believe posters are actually getting offended by this 😂 how mumsnet.

Just for the kids?! 🤣

This is what I mean. You’re there to have a good time. Not feel awkward. You will still talk to people around you if you’re having a good time.

Free bar, no evening do. No first dances, no speeches, ditch all the boring stuff. Wedding about 2pm, lunch at 3pm then a disco till 8 or 9pm. Go home. Perfect.

I’ve never been to a wedding where this was done but sounds like a good idea

You can dislike it all you want 😂 no need to try and tell me off like a naughty child. It’s certainly not standard in modern weddings in my circle! Clearly everyone does things differently but I am giving my opinion, which is that it’s good manners to prioritise the guests’ comfort and ensure they’ve been well fed/watered etc. before they sit through the speeches. For most people unless they’re immediate family or bridal party the speeches are not the most fun part of the day.

And yes, hard as it may be to believe, most people are not hanging on the bride and groom’s every word during the ceremony, it’s a nice (hopefully quick) thing people sit through and then crack on with the main celebrations.

Let friends sit together for the meal, particularly if they don't get to see each other that often. There's nothing worse than finding you're stuck next to people you don't know and having to make small talk for 3 hours. The only time it is acceptable to put me next to a stranger is when that stranger is Henry Cavill. Then I will be persuaded.

i love the speeches

ours was in between main and dessert. Perfect.

Not before!!

I know what else I hate! Wanky gift list. Some of them are so fucking cheeky. There are two that have stood out to me as ridiculously expensive. One I was ok with as I knew this couple would appreciate the stuff and keep it forever (even if I would never spend that kind of money eg £100 for two hand towels). The other couple had so much weird stuff on there which they’d obviously gone “ooh looks fun!” And clicked it as add ons to their list. Weird tables, paintings, a guitar (!) honestly.

I love the speeches but it’s never fun when you’re starving!

I really don't like your tone, it's incredibly rude of you to call me bad mannered, despite your faux gracious 'agree to disagree' bs. It's standard in modern weddings to have speeches before dinner, I haven't been to one wedding with speeches after the meal. Not that I have to defend myself, but none of my guests had travelled further than 20 minutes, and 'sat through the ceremony'..?! That's why they're there!

Here’s what I hate:
waitibg for food after speeches
rubbish food
food too late/not enough
WHEN YOURE SPLIT UP FROM YOUR PARTNER IN THE SEATING PLAN.

me too

Id wonder if i’d accidentally wandered in to a children’s party

thankfully never ever appeared in any of the weddings (all of which i have hugely enjoyed) i have attended

I would hate this, I’d go to the toilet and hide till it was over. Honestly it would ruin the day for me.

We have made sure there is no waiting around and PLENTY of food

You're most of the way there, then.

If there's a buffet element make sure food is clearly labelled and invite anyone with special diets up first. Remember everyone eats the special options - not just the people they are intended for - so make sure there is more veggie/vegan/gluten free etc than 1 portion/person who requires it, or keep it under the counter to hand out as needed).

Best ones I've been to have had good food, and ceilidh or good disco. It helps if you know more than one other person there.....

The best wedding I’ve been to:

-Started at 4pm.

-No speeches or formal meal. As soon as the ceremony was over all guests went straight to the free champagne and canapés served.

-Pizza oven and chips served later on into the evening.

-Saxophonist playing modern dance/Ibiza tunes which got the crowd going and dancing.

-Large communal seating areas both inside and outside the venue which got people chatting and mingling.

No two hour break for photos.
Enough food.
Enough drink. Doesn't have to be a free bar but not half a bottle per person on the table with no option to buy until the meal is over.

I'm on team "speeches before the meal". Defo for the people who have to make the speeches and their nerves. Also I was at one wedding where everyone was very drunk by the time the speeches came around after the meal so there was a bit of commentary from the crowd. And aswell as that, I feel like after the meal people are ready to get up and stretch their legs or move a bit before the tiredness hits.

I think we’ll have to agree to disagree, I’d personally put the comfort and enjoyment of my guests first and if any of the wedding part were so nervous about making a speech it would ruin their dinner then surely they just wouldn’t make one! Surely it’s also far less nerve wracking when everyone has been fed and is relaxed and enjoying themselves as opposed to making a speech to a room full of people who are mostly thinking “bloody hell just get on with it so we can eat!”. Bread often doesn’t cut it when people have travelled long distances, already sat through the ceremony etc. it’s just good manners IMO to make sure guests are well fed and watered first.

I do agree with you on the magician though!

A curry at the end of the evening do.

But nothing worse as a member of the wedding party than ruining your dinner because you're nervous about your speech. I definitely think speeches before dinner is best, but keep them short (I went to a wedding with 5 speeches - it took well over an hour!) and as I said, I put bread and butter on the tables for guests to eat during speeches.

PP has said a magician, which was one of my major hates from a wedding I went to, so it just proves you'll never please everyone.

Good food, comfortable chairs, and easy access to water. It’s amazing how hard it can be to get a glass of water at a wedding.

guests remember that they were taken care of. That can happen in many ways, but ultimately that is the point. Walk through the day from the guest perspective. If it doesn’t sound enjoyable at some point, make adjustments.

This! With bells on! 👏👏