Details that made a wedding

An old school friend had the speeches before the food, meant the wedding party could relax and enjoy which I thought was a nice touch.

My.cousin did the same but at the same time served the kids' food...meant they were quiet during speeches and then when our food was served a baby sitting service came in and played with the kids in a separate room for 2 hours. Meant parents could eat in peace. I really appreciated that!

My best friend married us in the church where my grandfather used to be vicar. She put a picture of him and my beloved late gran on the table where we signed the register.

Having something for guests to do when sat down at the table is a nice idea. I went to a wedding of a friend and was seated at a table with lots of strangers. Not a problem but it soon became obvious that none of us where particularly extrovert or natural conversationalists. Cue lots of awkward silences and small talk about the weather, the brides dress and the pretty venue. Something like small ice breaker games, pens or paper for writing notes to the happy couple or question cards to ask each other, would be great.

Me too, 100%. I couldn't even tell you what food we had at our wedding I was too busy making sure everyone else was enjoying it, was sitting with people they wanted to sit with, that they had enough to drink etc etc.

Agree with @MayaPinion over the band as well (if you are having one). DD and DH (who goes to a lot of live music) listened to hundreds – most have showreels and YouTube presence these days – and the ability to play a wide range was a pre-requisite. You can't have all Foo Fighters and Paramore, however much you like them.

Cars, flowers, favours, etc. are all well and good, but in the end it's how you make people feel that counts. Be present, be in the dance floor dancing with your friends and family, chat to everyone, not just your close friends. Get your photo taken with your relatives and get selfies with everyone who asks. Make people feel included. It's your day, and you are also the host, not the guest.

I totally agree with this ^^
Far too many couples forget that they are the hosts of a celebratory party.

Plenty of food - especially if you're getting married at 11am and not sitting down to dinner until 5pm (I have been to this wedding - they wanted it to last as long as possible 🙄). Canapés won't cut it. You need something like a Ploughman's lunch or people will end up tired and drunk.

Plenty of drink - most weddings I have been to in the UK have a cash bar alongside wine on the table during the meal. One wedding had a centerpiece of an ice bucket of chilled bottled beers and white wine. It looked great and went down a storm (may not be classy enough though!)

A decent band - one who can play something for everyone - from the Beegees, through Parklife, to Mr Brightside and a bit of Ollie Murs. You're looking for bands that can do floor fillers, not your favourite early goth tracks.

Cars, flowers, favours, etc. are all well and good, but in the end it's how you make people feel that counts. Be present, be in the dance floor dancing with your friends and family, chat to everyone, not just your close friends. Get your photo taken with your relatives and get selfies with everyone who asks. Make people feel included. It's your day, and you are also the host, not the guest.

Have a bottle of champagne on ice and some good crystal glasses in your room for after You'll deserve it.

I have only seen them during the pre-meal hour to distract waiting guests, so not tables. I can see that having a magician come up to your table might be a bit weird.
Again a magician was not something I chose but I can see why some might.

I once went to a wedding with a child's entertainer taking the kids around and I found that more intrusive, but as with everything it really depends on your provider.

Not my experience of magicians, they walk round the tables so you can’t avoid having to engage with them. At least if it’s a show you can avoid it, but they come up to you directly and make it difficult to not engage with them, even if you don’t want to. I now see them coming and then go and hide in the loo till I think they might have gone (then the fuckers come back again!)

No magician at our wedding but often they're really discrete. It's not like a magic show where people have to watch. They walk around in a suit and do small tricks for children / interested people.

Our photo booth was also at a party rather than our wedding but again, it was really fantastic for the kids. They had safe fun in a corner within eye shot of their parents for hours. It's not like it's in the middle of the room cramping the style of the event. But then we had a lot of children.

We had high quality music in the background while people ate (not loud) and that went down very well , more sophisticated and geared towards the adults. I copied that off a friend because I'd really enjoyed it.

some of these weddings sound more like circuses or summer fetes than a wedding!

I echo what you said about the water, especially for the summer weddings.

A decent evening snack: pasties, chips, bacon sandwiches have all been good ones (not the same wedding). I don't mind if the food isn't amazing as it's hard to cater at scale, but there has to be enough!
Make the order of events available beforehand so people know what to expect, and especially when they can expect food
Places to sit down and (hear each other) chat
My favourite thing is genuinely heartfelt, sweet and/or funny speeches and I find it a letdown when the theme of the speeches is from the best man "haha the groom had to be forced to marry her, good luck putting up with him!" and from the father of the bride "I paid for the wedding, I'm the head of the family". I've found this weirdly common in the UK.

I've not been to a single wedding that had enough water easily accessible, so for mine I'm going to specifically request regular topups of water jugs, but I do drink a lot of water so that one may just be me and DP!

Haven't enjoyed magicians, long distances between ceremony and reception or very rural locations (massively increases the cost as a non driver and it reduces accommodation options). I don't mind the gaps in the day as it's been a good chance for catch-ups, but would be aware of that if you'll have lots of guests who don't know others.

Absolutely agree that nothing you buy will 'make' the wedding, it's all about seeing a couple you love have a special day and also catching up with friends, preferably without having to bankrupt yourself to be there

A close up magician went down a storm. I have some great photos and it's one of the things people talk about since.

Some fun activities like lawn games or photobooths.

Quality long lasting favours, not tat.

I went to a wedding that had an ice sculpture/vodka luge which was fun and very memorable.

Toiletery hampers in bathrooms are useful.

Keep speeches short unless they are genuinely funny!!

Magician.

I could do without cutting of the cake and first dance... so boring and old fashioned

Evening reception with a variety of food, my reception had big platters of chips, pilau rice, crusty bread, pizzas, garlic bread, huge pot of curry, trays of chicken tikka, platters of roast chicken, beef, pork, ham, all with roast potatoes, stuffing, apple sauce, pigs in blankets, big sausage rolls, pasta salad, rice salad, ordinary salad, there was so much food we sent everyone home with doggy bags. My brother had got married 8 weeks earlier & had paid 3 times what our reception cost & we ended up calling at the chip shop on the way home because we were starving.

Minimal waiting about

Plenty of good food and drink

Plenty of places to sit and making sure they’re out of the weather (got a terrible and unexpected sunburn at a wedding a few years ago!)

Opportunity to get to know other guests, so not segregating people into their own groups too much

Sounds like a no brainer, but plenty of freely available cold water and tea and coffee for the entire event! It’s amazing how difficult it is to get those once the dancing starts!

Somewhere to sit away from loud music for those that don’t like it or if you need a break.

I totally agree with this. As long as the guests are fed and watered, and are not cold or too hot, then they will be fine.

No-one notices matchy matchy chair covers. No-one wants wedding favours or other unnecessary fripperies.

We once left a winter wedding early because the venue was so cold.

Doing a “last dance” in addition to the first dance. Brought everyone onto the dance floor a minute or two into the song and it really wrapped up the night nicely!

Please explain!

In the "dead zone" between the sit down meal and the evening disco they had a casino. Their table favours were casino chips which you all used to bet with (no actual money) then you exchanged chips for daft prizes.
It went down very well.

Also, same wedding they constantly circulated with little nibbly bits of food so nobody went hungry.

Wedding favours are always a bjt of a waste of money and generic. We had personalised fans for ours as we got married abroad but I like the idea of a photo of the bride/groom with each guest placed on their setting. I've also seen people write poems which is a lovely idea.

Magicians are a bit old hat and not everyone's cup of tea. Ditto with photo booths. I've seen people have an illustrator which I think is a cool idea.

Disposable cameras on the tables for some good candid shots. I also think it's nice to have photos of the bride and groom over the years somewhere, nice to have a look at and for people to reminisce and have a laugh at old pics.

I did party bags for the kids which kept them entertained - novelty glasses (made for some cute photos), stickers, bubbles etc. if you want to go extra, I've seen bubble houses at weddings and they look really cool.

The bigger stuff- free bar, good timings and make sure that guests won't congregate and stay in the bar area all night as this can divide the party and ruin the atmosphere

I went tò a wedding years ago and their entertainment was an oompah band.
At first i thought oh no but have to say its was the most entertaining wedding do I have ever been to
Bride and groom nailed that one for all the guests to have a fabulous time .

When people say no photographs or no waiting around for photographs, do they mean no drinks reception ? So straight from ceremony to meal?

Every wedding I’ve been to, have had a drinks reception with canapés while the B&G and families have done photos. I don’t see a problem with this?!

The one I’ve been to recently:

Good things -
beautiful setting
different rooms so you can mingle, relax or be up and about
quick canapés and loads of veggie ones
drinks waiting for you as soon as you entered the reception area (including non alcoholic), remember people don’t normally bring their trusty water bottles which they are used to.

Less good:
The food was incredibly late and incredibly slow. It really wasn’t that good.
The speeches were before the food and everyone had to listen to them STANDING! (They were done in a different room whilst the dining room was being set up).
Partners were mixed up and friends on different tables.

Honestly though, I love the couple. That was everything.

I've always seen the speeches half way through the meal lol.
Definitely not before, that would be excruciating. And probably not after, as many would be leaving.

After the mains, when it starts to make sense serving bubbly and just before the cake is what I've often seen.