Frightened

that makes bugger all sense

you can’t go to the cemetery because literally anywhere else makes you feel intimidated

what brings you to mumsnet @HorsePeopleAreStablePeople ? 😆

What good is the muzzle if the dog isn't wearing it? 🤦‍♀️

"well mine have on the odd occasion in the 45 years i have been alive?"

Yep. Instincts will never let you down? What a load of shite.

I think the OPs instincts are way off.

Her "instincts" are telling her the graveyard is the only place she can walk her dog as he'll be "attacked" anywhere else.

Her "instincts" are telling her that this means she will have to return tomorrow even though her reaction this morning was to run away, straight into her car and home to call the police, her friend and MN.

Her "instincts" are that it is ok to assume that her dog shitting on cemetery grounds is fine, because after other mourners have watched this happen she picks most of it up. Not including the piss of course.

Her "instincts" are telling her that it's ok to assume her friend will not feel hurt that she has to witness said dog pissing in the place her child is buried.

your dog should be on a lead OP

i think this bloke has had a bad experience with a dog

like the cyclist i suppose

This thread is ridiculous.

How on earth have people written 9 pages on a man staring at a woman where nothing actually happened and whether it is disrespectful to take a bloody dog round a cemetery or not 🙄

All this talk of trusting gut instincts and being terrified and dogs anuses in sacred places is a case of the drama llamas coming out methinks.

are there no other pleasant dog walks in the area?

You have just spent the entire day posting more than 50 posts about how you are sure he has dangerous intentions towards you and how scared you felt

I don't know, ask @IveGotToGoToMeDads 🤷‍♀️

You know you pick up poo
He didn’t

You know your dog is safe and wasn’t going to bolt for him (although i imagine the cyclist maybe also thought that!)
He didn’t

Sorry seems unnecessary to have to walk the dog there again tomorrow, surely she can go elsewhere.

i mean after the fright she’s had, why do it?

well mine have on the odd occasion in the 45 years i have been alive?

you are determined, absolutely determined, that this man has dangerous intentions towards you.

So can hardly ask him outright

So your choice is either return to cemetery or not risk it.

But there is nothing to be achieved by arguing relentlessly with those who would see it differently (i think he was anxious about the dog and / or thought you weren’t going to pick up poo…. and yes, yes.. we know you don’t agree)

Perhaps as she's going with her friend and hoping he won't be there?

If she sees him there again, then of course it would be craziness to continue going there.

Hope you're OK now @IveGotToGoToMeDads As has been said, always trust your instincts. They will never let you down!

But she’s going back tomorrow and too wirrrued to go on her own.

why go back?

I think you are probably over thinking this OP, but you always have to put your safety first and foremost so you did the right thing by leaving.

I used to have to walk my dog through the cemetery to get the local park from where I lived, i used to keep him on a short lead and we used to walk straight through, everyday I used to see people letting their dogs run all over the graves and shitting/weeing everywhere, people walking on graves to clear up mess, people shouting their dogs etc.. it is so disrespectful and they were oblivious.

I can understand people there grieving loved ones being furious at seeing people walking dogs through there, and letting them mess etc, or some people (as evident on this thread) don't agree with dogs in there at all, he could have been one of those.

Why?

You’re unhappy walking there, so why do it?

Not that anything happened.

Regardless of if it was all completely innocent, you felt something wasn't right, and you got out of there. You did the right thing, you can't be too careful.

You can't really moan that he had no flowers and was walking round a graveyard and not looking at graves

You were there doing the same thing but with a dog.

It could just be one of those awkward moments where you stop and start at the same time but only you were there, we weren't, so if you're convinced that he was following you and intimidated you to the point you were frightened then maybe put an anonymous post on the local Facebook page to let everyone else know.

Oh and keep your dog muzzled if you know they are prone to biting.

Never feel bad about leaving a space with an unknown man in it. (Or a known one, before anyone comes at me with "it's more likely to be a man you know". The reason for that is they simply have greater opportunity).

Good men that I know have become far more enlightened and thoughtful around how their physical presence is perceived by lone women in public. Especially in isolated places or at night. Hell, even my ancient dad considers this. It's not as if the news isn't full of the violence that women have to face. It's not being kept secret from men. And, it's also a key part of being a mammal. Watch how dogs behave to let each other know they're not a threat. And how they behave towards each other when they clearly are a threat.

Men that don't do this are already waving a red flag in my opinion. Some men who don't consider the effect of their presence on women will obviously be off their head, mentally ill or otherwise preoccupied. But that's no reason to feel you need to stay near them if you don't want to.

There's no hope. And it's exactly as I said at the beginning, entitled dog owners who know their dog makes others upset as they mourn their loved ones.

The OP insists it is ok because her dog has high standards 🤪 and her anxiety trumps everything else.

Most people, including your friend, probably won't say anything even though they are struggling with the disrespect on the inside.

Why don't you leave the dog at home tomorrow OP? Go visit your friends DCs grave without taking your snappy dog to shit all over their memory (yes, that is exactly how I feel when it happens to me).

He was probably looking so see why a random women with a dog was staring at him.

@frecklejuice

at one graveyard I have 8 graves of grandparents, uncles, aunts & 10 or so of the generation above Grandparents.

when I go, I only take flower etc if it's my Nana's birthday. Usually I'll stop by the 8 graves though & a couple of times a year, ALL of them.

@IveGotToGoToMeDads

I'll look at others there, especially if they have a dog 🐶 (because I like them! Not because I don't think they should be there!).

it strikes me as very peculiar people think it's disrespectful to take a dog... weird.

even if it wees/poops (as long as you pick up the poo) it's no worse than cats, squirrels, foxes or rats....🙄🙄