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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Frightened

366 replies

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 11:01

Just been into the local cemetery walking my dog, and felt uneasy about a man who seemed to be watching me.
He went to one grave down the bottom of the hill, went to another all while watching me, he didn't have any flowers or nothing for anyones grave. He appeared to be talking to himself.
He slowly made his way up towards the hill towards me, at this point my back where to him. I felt really uneasy, so faced towards him and he was staring at me and I felt really intimidated he stopped at another grave and then faced me again staring. I felt is was not quite right and my gut instincted was going, so I decided to abandon my walk with the dog and run back to the car. Got in the car and locked myself in and come back home.

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:30

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:29

@nootcoffee my dog also goes to walk on industrial estates. Its not his only walk.

you said it was the only walk you feel ok doing?

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:30

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:29

@nootcoffee my dog bite a cyclist over 9years ago.

and been muzzled in public ever since

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 14:30

"my dog also goes to walk on industrial estates. Its not his only walk."

Fucking hell 🤣 this has to be a wind up

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:29

why not try somewhere new!

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:29

@nootcoffee my dog bite a cyclist over 9years ago.

OP posts:
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:29

@nootcoffee my dog also goes to walk on industrial estates. Its not his only walk.

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:28

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:27

@nootcoffee yeah 99% is very high. 1% chance of him biting the risk is very very low.

to be fair op

your dog bit a cyclist

forgive me if i don’t take your word for it 😆

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 14:28

"God, threads like this depress me so much. Only read first page but so many piling on to tell you that your instinct is probably wrong and it was something else. Why? I don’t get it."

Most people have actually said that if she felt uncomfortable it was right to leave. Yes they've given other explanations as to why he might've been looking at her (as she was at him).

I'd stare at someone with a dog in the graveyard too but I believe as a woman we should take precautions if we feel unsafe.

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:28

given you’re going. with a friend tomorrow

why don’t you take the opportunity to branch out so you have at least one other walk option in future!

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:27

@nootcoffee yeah 99% is very high. 1% chance of him biting the risk is very very low.

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:27

LemonyFace · 01/10/2024 14:25

Big precaution staying in your pocket, isn't it? No way the dog will ever bite anyone when it's in there!

added to which, i imagine the poor cyclist has forever more been a touch 😦 when seeing border collies!

but the op would be adamant that he had bad intentions when in actual fact he was remembering the pain of a dog bite

WinterAconite · 01/10/2024 14:26

Wtafdidido · 01/10/2024 13:43

Always trust your instincts. I always felt super uncomfortable around someone I worked with who everyone thought was the greatest guy on earth/salt of the earth type. From the moment I worked there I felt uncomfortable or distrustful - no reason just a gut feeling. Turned out I was right as working late one night six months later he insisted on walking me back to our on-site staff accommodation. I was on high alert but could not get away and yes he did sexually assault me but luckily for me despite it being late at night a site visitor came to my rescue. Only for that witness I dont think anyone would have believed me and I lost my job for reporting him to the police as I was tarnishing the company’s image. He was charged and it went to court and I heard several years later he was doing time for sexually abusing two young children. Always trust your instincts.

That's awful that you were sacked over it

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:26

@nootcoffee I will take my friend tomorrow to feel safer after tomorrow I will go just me and the dog.

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:25

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 12:43

@DoIWantTo he was not of a lead no. It's just that the pathway is narrow and if he got to close dog could potentially bite.

you’re “99%” he won’t though

LemonyFace · 01/10/2024 14:25

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:21

@WorriedRelative he bit a cyclist a long time ago. I am 99% certain he would not bite again. When he sees his dog groomer, the vet my friends and all diffrent people he never bites them at all. The muzzle is just a precaution.

Big precaution staying in your pocket, isn't it? No way the dog will ever bite anyone when it's in there!

Elderberrier · 01/10/2024 14:25

God, threads like this depress me so much. Only read first page but so many piling on to tell you that your instinct is probably wrong and it was something else. Why? I don’t get it.

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:24

Sooverwork · 01/10/2024 14:22

Exactly . He sounds like he has mental health issues or just plain creepy. Safer to get yourself a different walking route.

i always read headstones to see how old they were when they died!

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:23

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:21

@WorriedRelative he bit a cyclist a long time ago. I am 99% certain he would not bite again. When he sees his dog groomer, the vet my friends and all diffrent people he never bites them at all. The muzzle is just a precaution.

but this chap doesn’t know that!

Perhaps like the cyclist you dog bit, he too has been bitten by a border collie

You are determined to be adamant he had mad intentions
but you’re heading back there tomorrow
and you’ve spent the entire day pushing your view to a group of mumsnet posters

one of the odder threads i’ve come across

So your plan is… always bring this friend to the ONE place you ever walk your dog?

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:23

@ChungKing thank you.

OP posts:
LemonyFace · 01/10/2024 14:23

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 14:19

"well mine have on the odd occasion in the 45 years i have been alive?"

Yep. Instincts will never let you down? What a load of shite.

I think the OPs instincts are way off.

Her "instincts" are telling her the graveyard is the only place she can walk her dog as he'll be "attacked" anywhere else.

Her "instincts" are telling her that this means she will have to return tomorrow even though her reaction this morning was to run away, straight into her car and home to call the police, her friend and MN.

Her "instincts" are that it is ok to assume that her dog shitting on cemetery grounds is fine, because after other mourners have watched this happen she picks most of it up. Not including the piss of course.

Her "instincts" are telling her that it's ok to assume her friend will not feel hurt that she has to witness said dog pissing in the place her child is buried.

Ah now, so being so sensible @ItWasOnAStarryNight 😉

Sooverwork · 01/10/2024 14:22

frecklejuice · 01/10/2024 11:11

How many loved ones was he visiting?! He stopped at various graves!

Sounds dodgy op, glad you left.

Exactly . He sounds like he has mental health issues or just plain creepy. Safer to get yourself a different walking route.

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:22

@nootcoffee because in a cemetary all dogs must be on leads.

OP posts:
ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 14:22

"This thread is ridiculous.

How on earth have people written 9 pages on a man staring at a woman where nothing actually happened and whether it is disrespectful to take a bloody dog round a cemetery or not 🙄

All this talk of trusting gut instincts and being terrified and dogs anuses in sacred places is a case of the drama llamas coming out methinks."

Tell me you've watched someone trample over your child's grave to get to their dogs shit whilst shouting its name loudly, dispersed with "it's ok, he's friendly"?

You haven't? Oh ok 👍

ChungKing · 01/10/2024 14:21

It's quite normal to walk dogs in the cemetery where I'm from. Everyone keeps their dogs leashed and sticks to the paths, so there's no chance of them pissing on anyone's headstone.

It's also not unusual for people to be wandering around the graveyard alone enjoying a bit of peace and quiet, but if you felt uncomfortable, no harm in leaving.

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:21

@WorriedRelative he bit a cyclist a long time ago. I am 99% certain he would not bite again. When he sees his dog groomer, the vet my friends and all diffrent people he never bites them at all. The muzzle is just a precaution.

OP posts: