Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Frightened

366 replies

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 11:01

Just been into the local cemetery walking my dog, and felt uneasy about a man who seemed to be watching me.
He went to one grave down the bottom of the hill, went to another all while watching me, he didn't have any flowers or nothing for anyones grave. He appeared to be talking to himself.
He slowly made his way up towards the hill towards me, at this point my back where to him. I felt really uneasy, so faced towards him and he was staring at me and I felt really intimidated he stopped at another grave and then faced me again staring. I felt is was not quite right and my gut instincted was going, so I decided to abandon my walk with the dog and run back to the car. Got in the car and locked myself in and come back home.

OP posts:
Asleeponthejob · 01/10/2024 15:58

He may or may not have had mental health difficulties and that may or may not have made him a risk for you . As another poster has said though graveyards are pretty well known as being somewhere where people who are up to no good hang out . Deep down you probably realise that - and that’s part of your instinct . Would you be better placed asking your friend to walk with you in the park and help you try and overcome the anxiety over that .

Button28384738 · 01/10/2024 15:56

Always trust your gut x

wavingfuriously · 01/10/2024 15:54

I'm not sure..people can act strangely when visiting their loved ones graves..when visiting my father's grave met this older gent who told me he visited his wife's grave every day..he just would not stop talking..people feel lonely in their grief. Maybe that man just wanted to chat with you? share something?

mynewhouse · 01/10/2024 15:47

Aren't graveyards notorious for being frequented by drug addicts, drunks, emo teens looking for somewhere a bit weird and woo to have a shag, and those with mental health problems?

Yes, ime as well as people there for burials/ visiting graves, graveyards can attract some dodgy characters. I’d say that’s one of the disadvantages of walking your dog in one as opposed to a regular park/ dog park etc. Far fewer people enjoying a cheerful, carefree stroll. For obvious reasons.

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 15:46

@Bangwam1 thank you.

OP posts:
Bangwam1 · 01/10/2024 15:45

No minimising from me. Your gut is always right when it comes to men. You trusted yourself, smart.

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 15:43

@ilovesooty When I drove in no one was around. I got to the top of the hill, looked down and the man was there.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 01/10/2024 15:42

Why did you have to be near him if the cemetery is massive?

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 15:42

@reallifeboogie whats wrong with walking the dog in a cemetary? This cemetary has no by law and plenty of people locally go in with their dogs to walk.

OP posts:
reallifeboogie · 01/10/2024 15:39

Why the hell were you walking your dog in a cemetery??

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 15:23

@Asleeponthejob I think the man had mental health issues myself. I felt very uneasy near him.

OP posts:
Asleeponthejob · 01/10/2024 15:21

It is possible that the man was concerned by the lady walking a border collie and carrying a muzzle . He might have thought you and your dog were the risk .

WorriedRelative · 01/10/2024 15:18

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 15:04

@WorriedRelative he was 2 when he bit the cyclist he's 11 next year. The cyclist startled him. It's not going to happen again.
He's good with all my nieces/nephews etc...

The muzzle is no good in your pocket. If you love your dog protect him. If he's startled again and bites then he will be destroyed and it will be your fault, because you didn't protect him by muzzling him.

If you love your dog don't gamble with his future.

SplendidUtterly · 01/10/2024 15:16

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:24

i always read headstones to see how old they were when they died!

Show quote history

Same! I love going to those really old remote churches and looking around their graveyard. I might not do that anymore though after reading this thread😁

katseyes7 · 01/10/2024 15:12

He is a border collie. They are known for hearding/nipping.
They are indeed. I had two, and the cuffs of my dog walking jacket were tattered. They never bit me, it's something collies tend to do, what they'd do when herding sheep.

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 15:04

@WorriedRelative he was 2 when he bit the cyclist he's 11 next year. The cyclist startled him. It's not going to happen again.
He's good with all my nieces/nephews etc...

OP posts:
Imfreetofeelgood · 01/10/2024 15:01

KimberleyClark · 01/10/2024 11:13

He might have been watching in case your dog had a poo to make sure you picked it up.

This was my thought too. Was your dog on the grass or the path - people can be funny about these things. At the end of the day, probably best to follow your gut.

WorriedRelative · 01/10/2024 15:01

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:21

@WorriedRelative he bit a cyclist a long time ago. I am 99% certain he would not bite again. When he sees his dog groomer, the vet my friends and all diffrent people he never bites them at all. The muzzle is just a precaution.

It isn't a precaution in your pocket. It needs to be worn.

He's bitten before. Next time he'll be destroyed and it will be your fault for not putting the muzzle on. It is useless in your pocket

Whatafustercluck · 01/10/2024 14:59

Aren't graveyards notorious for being frequented by drug addicts, drunks, emo teens looking for somewhere a bit weird and woo to have a shag, and those with mental health problems? If I were buried there, I'd prefer a dog walker to someone shooting up or shagging on top of my cold, dead bones. Same if it was a friend or member of my family lying there.

The op's description of the incident does sound weird/ frightening. And that's precisely why I generally make a habit of avoiding graveyards!

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:48

mind you, i wouldn’t take my dog every day twice a day to an industrial estate either

but each to their own

nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:47

i would never take my dog to a cemetery
it would feel disrespectful

Itisjustmyopinion · 01/10/2024 14:45

Dog walkers may pick up their dog’s business but nothing gets away from the fact that they are shitting and peeing on somebody’s grave, even if it is unmarked

I have never seen a dog when I have went to pay respects, maybe there is some kind of by law in the cemetery I would go to, but I will be honest I would silently judge if I saw a dog doing its business in a cemetery, even if the owner picked it up.

There are plenty of places for a dog to relieve themselves, doing it amongst graves feels wrong in my opinion

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 14:45

@ForeverPombear thank you.

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 01/10/2024 14:45

OP how old are you? do you live alone?

ForeverPombear · 01/10/2024 14:45

ForeverPombear · 01/10/2024 14:44

I wouldn't say it is funny.

Do I think the op overreacted? Yes but she felt uncomfortable so fair enough, calling the police was an overreaction for me.

Do I think dogs should be walked in cemetarys? I'm not sure, I see both sides of the argument. Some of you have made your points over and over again and this thread really is starting to feel like 2 or 3 of you are just picking on the op just for the sake of it. I didn't find any of your posts funny.

Sorry that should have quoted @nootcoffee