Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Frightened

366 replies

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 11:01

Just been into the local cemetery walking my dog, and felt uneasy about a man who seemed to be watching me.
He went to one grave down the bottom of the hill, went to another all while watching me, he didn't have any flowers or nothing for anyones grave. He appeared to be talking to himself.
He slowly made his way up towards the hill towards me, at this point my back where to him. I felt really uneasy, so faced towards him and he was staring at me and I felt really intimidated he stopped at another grave and then faced me again staring. I felt is was not quite right and my gut instincted was going, so I decided to abandon my walk with the dog and run back to the car. Got in the car and locked myself in and come back home.

OP posts:
QueenCamilla · 01/10/2024 13:09

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 13:06

"What a bizarre thing to say!
Was he implying that you were ''soliciting''?
Men!"

Soliciting? 🤣 He'll have been referring to youths sitting drinking on the benches. Obviously pp was 40 but he must've assumed she looked younger.

Youths and dogs are the two main problems at our local cemeteries.

In our local it's crack-whoring and dog owners that are the problem. The types that don't give a crap of decent behaviour.

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 13:09

@Loub1987 exactly thank you.

OP posts:
Trebol · 01/10/2024 13:08

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request

Loub1987 · 01/10/2024 13:07

I assumed that this was a ghost thread! Yes I would be unnerved by him (alive or ghost).

Also, can’t see what anyone’s issue is with dog walking in a cemetery. It’s a quiet space and as long as you’re doing it quietly, it shouldn’t bother anyone. I say that as someone who doesn’t even particularly like dogs.

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 13:06

"What a bizarre thing to say!
Was he implying that you were ''soliciting''?
Men!"

Soliciting? 🤣 He'll have been referring to youths sitting drinking on the benches. Obviously pp was 40 but he must've assumed she looked younger.

Youths and dogs are the two main problems at our local cemeteries.

QueenCamilla · 01/10/2024 13:05

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 13:00

@QueenCamilla my dog has never & would never wee up anyones grave. We're not there to be disrespectful at all.

Is he supposed to know your animal's bowel&bladder habits??
You ARE being disrespectful by bringing your dog to toilet in a cemetery. But it doesn't seem to bother you or your friends... 🤷 What a bunch...

oakleaffy · 01/10/2024 13:04

5128gap · 01/10/2024 12:55

Ha! This happened to me in a church yard too. But as I left the guy approached me and said "I hope you're not planning to hang around here young lady. This is a place for grieving not socialising' I was on my own and in my 40s at the time. Seriously though, I'm sorry you had this experience OP it shakes you when random men act oddly like this.

What a bizarre thing to say!
Was he implying that you were ''soliciting''?
Men!

I was once in Villefranche sur mer, and asked an American Navy chap at a Burger stall if he knew where the ''Hotel Welcome'' was. {Because it was where Jean Cocteau used to stay}

The cheeky burger stall owner implied that I was ''soliciting''!

Er...what...with my 7 yr old son with me?

The American told us of a trip available for the public to his ship moored in the deep bay. Very interesting.

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 13:02

"my dog has never & would never wee up anyones grave. We're not there to be disrespectful at all."

You've admitted you clear up the mess he makes in the graveyard.

A graveyard is not the place for a dog so his presence alone is disrespectful.

VeritableChestnut · 01/10/2024 13:02

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 13:01

@LemonyFace he has never and would never wee up the gravestones.

Your dog would never wee on gravestones? Such a disciplined animal!

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 13:01

@LemonyFace he has never and would never wee up the gravestones.

OP posts:
ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 13:01

This has to be a wind up now. Chances are he was staring because you kept shiftily glancing at him while your dog peed on a tree.

LemonyFace · 01/10/2024 13:00

QueenCamilla · 01/10/2024 12:58

If I was visiting relatives in there, I'd also be death-staring anyone bringing their dog to piss on the gravestones.

Yeah, how do you clear that up???

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 13:00

@QueenCamilla my dog has never & would never wee up anyones grave. We're not there to be disrespectful at all.

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 01/10/2024 13:00

Was he a ghost and looking for his grave?

2dogsandabudgie · 01/10/2024 13:00

KimberleyClark · 01/10/2024 11:13

He might have been watching in case your dog had a poo to make sure you picked it up.

This. I'm a dog owner and when I was trying to find a grave and I had my dogs with me I felt very conscious of my dogs being in a graveyard. I felt very uncomfortable with the fact my dogs might wee where someone was buried. It just felt disrespectful to me.

I don't like seeing dogs in cemeteries. I'm sure they're not allowed in crematoriums, only service dogs

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 12:59

@LemonyFace it was 9 years ago, he has never bitten anyone since.

OP posts:
Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 12:58

@Casuallydresseddeepinconversation also I was not staring at the man, I would glance then look away then look back.
He was the one staring intently, it was frightening.

OP posts:
LemonyFace · 01/10/2024 12:58

because I didn't have my dogs muzzle on and he has bitten and drew blood on a cyclist

FFS muzzle your dog! Now I'm really feeling for this poor man. JC you called 101 - fuckng hell, the dangers of AIBU!

QueenCamilla · 01/10/2024 12:58

If I was visiting relatives in there, I'd also be death-staring anyone bringing their dog to piss on the gravestones.

ItWasOnAStarryNight · 01/10/2024 12:58

"Like I said my dogs mess is cleared up"

The problem is you taking him there to make a mess in the first place.

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 12:57

@Casuallydresseddeepinconversation Like I said my dogs mess is cleared up. He mostly likely would not bite, and I keep him away from people.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/10/2024 12:57

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 11:31

@nootcoffee I was watching him only because I didn't have my dogs muzzle on and he has bitten and drew blood on a cyclist about 9years ago.
I don't think he would bite now, but I try to keep him away from people he doesn't know.
He is a border collie. They are known for hearding/nipping.

Only you know why you were watching the man. He doesn't. He could well have been wondering why on earth you were staring at him.

I like to wander round graveyards and look at the headstones. Some of them are beautifully carved. Sometimes I wander round gathering information for a puzzle linked to a hobby.

Original poster
IveGotToGoToMeDads · 01/10/2024 12:56

@berksandbeyond its okay I was just asking for people opinion on weather I am or am not being unreasonable to feel unnearved about the wat this man was acting in the cemetary.
Some people found it strange or others don't.
The police are doing a patrol round the cemetary as I phoned 101 and I am going back to the cemetary for a walk tomorrow with my dog and a friend who has agreed to come.

OP posts:
5128gap · 01/10/2024 12:55

Ha! This happened to me in a church yard too. But as I left the guy approached me and said "I hope you're not planning to hang around here young lady. This is a place for grieving not socialising' I was on my own and in my 40s at the time. Seriously though, I'm sorry you had this experience OP it shakes you when random men act oddly like this.

Casuallydresseddeepinconversation · 01/10/2024 12:55

Having the muzzle with you but not on the dog is pretty pointless in preventing a bite, and if I was visiting a loved ones grave and I was grieving I would not want to be dodging dog shit or having an unmuzzled dog with a bite history pissing up gravestones, sounds like you were staring at the man as much as he was you

Swipe left for the next trending thread