Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.

484 replies

Glasscabinet · 01/10/2024 10:35

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.
OP posts:
ThatsIllegal · 02/10/2024 18:36

I think the issue here is more your mum thinking she gets to dictate what your daughter wears on her first birthday? Why does she think her outfit choice overrides yours as her mother? If your mum wants a photo with your daughter wearing the outfit fine, but it doesn’t have to be at the first birthday party does it!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 02/10/2024 18:32

By taking a photo, your Mum wins.

Just give the dress back and inform her that YOU as the child's mother will choose what YOUR child wears on her birthday.

and not to waste her money in future.

Kerrieanne85 · 02/10/2024 18:30

Cute little dress

emanresu3 · 02/10/2024 18:27

Lilly would be uncomfortable in the skirt part. just put her in it for a quick photo

ttcat37 · 02/10/2024 18:26

Why can’t you just say “no mum, she’s not wearing that. End of.” What will happen? Do you usually let her walk all over you and that’s why she’s doing it again now? It’s so disrespectful and controlling to purposefully buy something and try and manipulate you into making her wear something that she knew you would hate. And it’s fucking weird that she seems to take pleasure from the fact that it makes you uncomfortable.

Pliudev · 02/10/2024 18:22

Good job it wasn't you MiL or folks would be on here suggesting you go NC. Honestly, it's not to my taste but I don't think your DM was being disrespectful, I think it's meant as a bit of fun. Just get the pics then put Lily in a boiler suit if that's what you prefer. But be prepared, she may well choose to wear things that make your toes curl in years to come. You can always blame grandma.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 02/10/2024 18:18

It's hideous. Truly hideous.

Btb · 02/10/2024 18:16

Glasscabinet · 01/10/2024 10:35

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

It’s lovely

Mum1422 · 02/10/2024 18:08

I personally like the dress, I’d lose the headband and socks otherwise cute!

Pippetypoppity · 02/10/2024 18:06

Snip off the odious bows and it’s adorable. Plus the tutu will be used again and again (snip waist elastic a bit to loosen) for dressing up when older. It won’t be wasted then.

joolsella · 02/10/2024 18:02

It's tacky and a total waste of money. Do as someone else suggested: put it on her, tske photo

Sell on vinted

Jack80 · 02/10/2024 17:56

It maybe to your taste but dress her in it and take pics and change her not long after saying it's hot for her etc.

BooBooDoodle · 02/10/2024 17:55

It’s hideous and impractical but well meaning. One year olds don’t remember their 1st birthdays anyway and if your DD is anything like my DS, she’ll be over stimulated, scream, shit herself frequently throughout the day and sleep on and off. We wanted zero fuss and a day off out just us but family politics and pressure lead to about 20 people all descending at once (ignoring our schedule) and packed into our small house. I hated every minute of it, son was inconsolable in parts with all the fuss and being leered at and everything happened that I stated above. The annoying part is people think they can override your decisions and do as they please. Thankfully I’m not a soft arse anymore and won’t have it.

muggart · 02/10/2024 16:32

Your mum is a PITA. Sounds like a power move.

Grammarnut · 02/10/2024 16:17

RobertaFirmino · 02/10/2024 14:23

Regardless of what the outfit looks like, it feels like DM is overstepping the mark by choosing what she wants DD to wear for her bday. That is your job, not hers. She has had her turn, now it is yours.

It's a daft choice anyhow, it can only be worn once. Seems like such a waste.

I suggest putting it on for a few pics then changing her. Have the best pic blown up and framed then that's DM's Christmas present sorted.

No, it is not DM's Christmas present sorted. I don't expect to get just pictures of my GC for a Christmas present (or at all as a present - if you are giving one, then it's something to give at any time!). Naturally, I'd say thank you but I would think DD or DS or DSS doing this was a bit 'off' TBH.

RobertaFirmino · 02/10/2024 16:16

Just had a nasty thought...is this thing flammable? Do take extra care around cake candles if that's the case.

Grammarnut · 02/10/2024 16:14

viques · 02/10/2024 14:13

The child is one, she isn’t likely to be wandering anywhere unaccompanied, especially on her birthday.

Show quote history

No, but it's the principle that matters. If OP's DM thinks this is ok at one then she might think it's ok at 2 or 3, with a much less divisive garment e.g. a nice jumper.

RobertaFirmino · 02/10/2024 14:23

Regardless of what the outfit looks like, it feels like DM is overstepping the mark by choosing what she wants DD to wear for her bday. That is your job, not hers. She has had her turn, now it is yours.

It's a daft choice anyhow, it can only be worn once. Seems like such a waste.

I suggest putting it on for a few pics then changing her. Have the best pic blown up and framed then that's DM's Christmas present sorted.

nootcoffee · 02/10/2024 14:15

Glad you resolved this

until the next time there’s tension between the OP and her DM, which i’m guessing has pretty much defined their relationship to date

viques · 02/10/2024 14:13

Grammarnut · 02/10/2024 09:57

Glad you resolved this. I do have one problem with the dress, however. It apparently has your DD's name on it, which is a safeguarding issue. Small children ought never to have clothes with their names blazoned across the front so that anyone can use the name. Children may think that someone who 'knows' their name must know mummy and daddy and are liable to trust them although they don't know them.

Show quote history

The child is one, she isn’t likely to be wandering anywhere unaccompanied, especially on her birthday.

Pussycat22 · 02/10/2024 10:09

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom, bit drastic !!!!

Grammarnut · 02/10/2024 09:57

Glasscabinet · 01/10/2024 18:22

I read this thread before I went to my mums. I took a deep breath and realised that it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The baby grow would come in use, the skirt wasn’t the worst thing either… Head band could be donated after I had posed DD for a photo in the morning…

However, got to mum’s house and it wasn’t what I had found on google using the description from siblings. It was a dress from Ali express with matching head band.

The reason mum had found it hilarious was because she knows I cannot stand huge head bows which this dress has.

I quote:

’When I get to the party I expect to see her wearing this with her head bow. I’m not joking, I don’t want to hear any of your excuses how you’ve mislaid it…’

I told her that I didn’t mind her wearing it in the morning but in the afternoon she’d be wearing her party dress that I had bought her for her birthday party.

She sighed and said

It will only take a minute to get her changed as she wanted a picture of her holding DD with her cake.

Glad you resolved this. I do have one problem with the dress, however. It apparently has your DD's name on it, which is a safeguarding issue. Small children ought never to have clothes with their names blazoned across the front so that anyone can use the name. Children may think that someone who 'knows' their name must know mummy and daddy and are liable to trust them although they don't know them.

Needmorelego · 02/10/2024 09:50

@PointsSouth if I was "Mavis" I'd wear that - because sometimes life is for being a bit silly and fun.

KirstenBlest · 02/10/2024 09:41

Grin @PointsSouth

TwistedWonder · 02/10/2024 09:24

PointsSouth · 02/10/2024 09:22

That is absolutely revolting.

I'd get one just like that for your mother that says 'Mavis is Old' and insist she wears it on her birthday.

I love that idea 🤣

Swipe left for the next trending thread