To be worried he doesn't want sex

So it’s went from 2/3 times to once a week? Perhaps not such a massive change as I had thought based on your initial explanation it went from 7 times a week to once a week.

Tbf if I was only seeing someone on a weekend not sure if I’d want to have sex every single night we were together all the time.

Why do you not see each other during the week anyway? I mean he has time to go to the gym for 90 minutes and morning runs daily or is it a long distance thing?

Lots of potential reasons here but the upshot of all of them is not a great outcome for you OP.

Porn addiction, gay, cheating, etc

3 months in? Nah. Too much hassle. Honestly. Throw this one back.

It isn’t really fair to the other person though, if you’re in a relationship.If you want to be in a relationship and you don’t want to have sex you need to tell the other person.Otherwise it’s going to be like in OP’s situation, trying to understand.It’s not about entitlement, it’s about communication and l think it’s avoidance from him.It sounds like @Rosas67 hardly gets to see him, gym after work for 90 mins, out well before work, for a run, sounds excessive, no wonder he’s exhausted.When do they actually get to spend time together.
I do think it can be different for couples who have been together for many years, but in this situation, this is only 3 months in, they’re clearly not communicating, as to why there’s this change and he’s choosing to avoid, what’s really going on, by spending as much time as he can, away from their relationship.

To add personally I wouldn’t mind someone with a naturally lower sex drive. But I would mind someone who wasn’t able to have sex as much, because they gave so much to every other area of his life that I was left with crumbs.

Because I think ultimately if he gets into the habit of not making your relationship a priority it’s not just your sex life that will take a hit.

OP said : He looks after himself very well but drinks and smokes socially at the weekends.

He may be reasonably fit and healthy now as he’s only 29 and does a lot of exercise on top of his manual job , but no matter how many workouts he does smoking will catch up with him. And if he gets increasingly stressed the weekend smoking may turn into every day smoking.

If this is his natural libido he should say that to OP, so she can make the decision whether to stay with him or not. But he’s making it sound more of a temporary thing.

That’s quite a problem to have this early on in a relationship.

He seems to be very busy and prioritises fitting a lot into his life. Except what you need…

Of course they are, but equally, especially this early in, OP is entitled to say it’s not for her and leave, without guilt or the responsibility of “turning his life upside down”

Are people not entitled to simply not want sex? Seems a bit mean to punish him with threats of leaving and turning his life upside down.

It sounds like he’s fit and healthy and otherwise a lovely partner! I think maybe he just has a naturally lower than average libido and this is just him feeling really secure in the relationship and comfortable with you. The lusty stage doesn’t last forever.

Maybe he has a secret Grindr profile?

I was about to say the same thing about it being strange someone who goes to the gym so much smokes and drinks, but then OP has said he does the gym to “keep up with her” basically.

so I guess it is just for superficial reasons then - he wants to look good rather than be healthy but it’s still off putting. And I’m not even sure if I believe that is his reason for extending the gym time though, because it’s taking time and energy away from your relationship. And he’s saying he’s doing it because you’re so beautiful?

If it continues I’d tell him straight he looks great too and doesn’t need to bother about working out more for your sake, and that you’d actually prefer to spend more time together.

If he does a physical job he really has no need to be working out so much. He’s ageing himself prematurely with this excessive exercise and smoking at the weekend and it’s impacting your relationship.

I don’t know if another woman has caught his eye at the gym or not but either way I’d throw this one back if things don’t change. men put their best foot forward in the first 6 months or so. The fact he’s being like this so soon doesn’t bode well.

I think he may be just completely burnt out from life and putting pressure on himself. I spoke to him about this today and he agrees that he's burning the candle at both ends and is gonna take it easier on himself.
If things don't change though I'm just going to reconsider.

It’s good he admitted this though and has said he’s going to take things a bit easier. Just watch to see if he follows up on his words with actions though.

I would be sceptical about the going to the gym virtually every day after such an early start and long working/ commuting hours. Surely someone so dedicated to keeping their body in shape wouldn't smoke and drink on a weekend and undermine their fitness regime?
Even if he hasn't someone else on the go the relationship doesn't look as though it's really worth continuing if it's already worrying you and will affect yourself esteem.

I think I’d feel upset that he seemed to be prioritising going to the gym ahead of intimacy. I would see if he can cut back on gym time to spend more quality time with you and if it’s a no I’d separate.

He’s got a low sex drive, has been making himself have sex a lot and now he’s stopping the pretence. By getting in ahead of you and bringing it up he’s made you feel sorry for him. This isn’t something that’s just happened to him that he doesn’t understand - this is just him.

im not going into details about my experience but this will destroy your self confidence - it’s already having an effect on you. It’s been 3 months - just say “this isn’t working for me” and move on. You don’t owe him ANYTHING and certainly you don’t owe him a relationship where you’re being made to feel unattractive and unwanted.

three months in. Just go!

Could be steroids given his gym habits. Watch out for him getting moodier.

I don’t think it’s something we can give you advice on op- he may genuinely be absolutely wrecked given his job! It could be what a lot will assume or he may genuinely have a low sex drive- I know I’m a woman but I have/ had a really low sex drive and it’s been sad over the years when dh took it personally, especially starting out- it could be a real thing! Also every day in the first two weeks wasn’t faesible anyway- sounds exhausting

I have to say this was my thought too.

Are you absolutely certain he is at the gym? Your instinct is that something is not right.... I agree

You also say it was every day and now basically nothing. Red flag no 2/of many

And now he has had what he wanted he is already getting bored. How I see it. I don’t think people realise how terribly porn addiction is effecting men on a mass scale.

Obviously I don’t know the guy, this is up to OP to assess. I wouldn’t put up with this on such a short lived relationship and being that age, hell no.