His parents don't know about us

YANBU to be pissed off with his behaviour.

Most importantly he is getting you to lie to your own family & controlling who you talk to about your own life. That’s really not on. How betrayed will your family feel when they find out that you repeatedly lied to them? Especially if they are looking after your child whilst you go away with him. Personally I wouldn’t do that to family who loved & trusted me.

It’s obvious that he’s slagged you off to his parents & now he doesn’t want to lose face. That’s his problem, not yours. Although it’s also likely that he’s not relationship material & is just using you for sex. If your relationship is secret, does that mean you don’t go out together? Does he just come round for his tea & a quickie?

Bottom line is firstly, that you shouldn’t let him control what you say to your family. Secondly, while you are hanging around waiting for the crumbs he throws you, you are blocking yourself from finding a proper partner who treats you with respect. LTB.

Are you sure there's not another woman on the scene,one that he has taken home to meet the parents and perhaps even goes around/stays over so doesn't want it getting out your together?

🚩🚩🚩🚩

How many more red flags do you need?

OP, what do you want from this thread? You know what the responses are going to be and yet you refuse to raise the bar.

You are in an unhealthy, damaging relationship.
You are the one who will provide the model of what a relationship looks like to your child. Your 'normal' becomes your childs 'normal'
Think about that

You need to realise that MN isn't a lot of posters that want to break up, healthy, happy relationships.

Instead posters genuinely want people in shitty/disrespectful/dangerous/controlling relationships to real see their relationships for what they are.

Posters want people to realise that they are worth more and they do deserve better.

Nobody is giving you advice you don't like to be nasty.

They are giving you advice you don't like because they really think you need to hear it.

Could you link to your previous threads so that we can give you better advice.

Are you really this desperate??

Put your child first, this is a toxic environment for them.

Either his parents have an arranged marriage fir him and he's hoping you don't find out he's getting married / is married.

Or.

He lied to them about the cause of the breakdown of your relationship last time which paints you in a bad light and him the perfect gent....

Yeah I'd not be up for that.

You might feel you are focusing on your child but you are also showing them that you're not worthy of a loving and open relationship. You're being hidden like a dirty little secret.

Of course YANBU, he obviously doesn’t respect ypu if he feels he has to lie and keep you a secret. But it also sounds like you don’t respect yourself or you wouldn’t go along with this. If he doesn’t want to tell anybody in his family that you’re in a relationship then do you both a favour and end it, that way nobody ever needs to be told!

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

Do the online freedom programme and dump and block him.

I don't know anything about your previous posts but if you use "perpetrator", did you initially leave him because of DV?

And do his parents have no idea? And do you think maybe he's just going to try to protect their image of him at all costs? And if so, what's the point of this relationship?

Is his penis made of pure gold with 6 vibration settings?....no
Is he a billionaire.?...Well he lives with his parents so I'd hazard that's a no.
Is he the only man on earth with a pulse?.....well also no.
What on earth are you doing. Raise the bar Op.

I would not want to be with anyone who wanted to keep me a secret.

Weren't the responses you got last week enough, when he was blowing you off to stay in with his mum while his dad was away from home. Or, is he the one who comes round twice a week for two hours to get a shag, or the one who keeps going to visit his female "friend" or are all three the same bloke.

You can keep asking. You can keep coming up with different questions but you will keep getting the same answers. Mumnetters recognise a bastard when they see or hear about one.

Op read your op again as if you were someone else

Then 'are you insane?'

It's not redundant. It's probably fairly grim reading.

Your choice of romantic relationship, and the health of it, directly impacts upon your child. This is the deal when you are a mother. Why pursue a relationship with this man, what does he add to your family? Seriously? How does he improve your life, and the life of your child?

I wonder if he’s with someone else now and you’re his bit on the side, which is why your relationship is to be kept a secret!

So why will leaving it until March make it better ? Or will there be another excuse to keep things secret ? This is far from normal behaviour and you deserve better. How is this impacting your DC , either you are having to make them keep secrets or you are sneaking around behind their back which is dishonest and either will cause problems in the future between you and your DC.

This is the least of your problems.

Why are you focusing on this rather than all of the concerning issues and your children?

You are even too embarrassed to even post about the argument.

Do you really not think you deserve better? Why not?

Yes, you are right to be pissed off with him for not telling his parents. He’s just embarrassed because of all the deeply unpleasant comments he’s made about you. If you are happy to be with a man who is ashamed of you, you have no self-respect.

Ok.
In some ways that’s even worse then.

Im sure you can do better than this guy.

He could be seeing someone else that his parents know about (or saw someone else that they know during your break). Seems bizarre to keep you so hidden.