DH called me a pathetic b****

what do you want to happen?
Do you want to make up with the neighbours for being rude? Buy them a car and flowers

Do you want to control what your ds eats at all times, perhaps leave the cakes until they have gone off rather than chucking in the bin as you've decided they wouldn't eat them

I suppose the neighbours are wet too for being upset. And your son for being upset over losing his friend. You're just tellin' it like it is, it's not your fault they can't handle it. 🙄

Imagine if it was a man on here whining about being called a 'prick' or a 'dickhead' after totally acting like one.

Maybe you are being wet for getting offended by being called b1%#@
After all your husband was only being honest.

I would just apologise to the neighbours, maybe tell a white lie saying actually they fell on the floor so you had to throw them and it was a misunderstanding/poor communication thing. If they continue to snub you, so what, you apologised. It"s not Ramsey Street, you don't need to be friends with everyone you live close to.

It was quite bitchy though calling your husband 'wet', it's very insulting in it's own right.

Sorry, but I think that you are in the wrong. My mother was like you and she fell out with everyone.

But your neighbours aren't speaking to you anymore because of what you did/said. Not because of him.
So either he is right and you were being a bitch or everybody is incredibly sensitive.

Calling him wet wasn't exactly a pleasant thing to call your spouse. I am not surprised he reacted. If you despise him and his family, just end it. Let him find someone who treats him and the people around him better.

And his family, and the neighbours

Why didn't you leave the cupcakes out for them to try?

Now they are going to have to deal with this shitty neighbour situation, which easily could have been avoided.

Do you think that this could be why the neighbours don't want you around anymore?

If a child is rude but the parents seem decent I give the benefit of the doubt, they'll probably grow out of the rudeness with some guidance. If both the child and the parents come across as rude then I'm less likely to want them around.

You wouldn’t have had to tell a white lie if you had just done the normal thing and let them decide for themselves, so the argument about lying/telling the truth is moot anyway!

you still haven’t answered why you threw them away? And you won’t answer because it sounds like you orchestrated all this just to pick a fight, cause agro for everyone then play the victim. You even just said that you started the name calling!

you sound insufferable.

Sometimes though a white lie is a useful tool, what harm would it have done to tell your son that you had dropped them on the floor? How would that equate to being walked all over? Maybe you are thick skinned and don’t have your feelings hurt easily but not everyone is like that and it doesn’t mean that they are wet or over sensitive.

He still shouldn’t have called you names
but you sound quite unpleasant in some
ways OP. Your bluntness was completely unnecessary here and has caused a
lot of upset, not least of all for your son.

As for your husband, I don’t condone his language but if you were bringing up my son to be just like you, I’d have a few choice words for you as well.

Why didn’t you though there was no need to lie just not tell the brutal truth all the time and there is a difference

yiu hide behind the fact that you are telling the truth and the truth is always right but the truth isn’t always just one thing

But he is right you should have told a white lie. That isn't being wet it's called being considerate of other people's feelings.

This. I think you need to think about whether your blunt attitude comes across as rude. I can be a bit like this but work to keep it in check as I know how I can come across if I don’t! And throwing out the cakes before anyone else could try them is rude and controlling. Maybe also teach your son the value of the white lie!

We have no idea what she has said to him. She is skating over anything that might portray her as being responsible.
If my wife was causing problems with my family with her attitude, and now with the neighbours, using our child to shit stir like this, I would probably call them a bitch, or similar too. She is happy to 'be honest' with others, but doesn't much like it when it comes back at her.

He doesn't sound like a door mat who only blows up at his wife too me. OP States she wishes he would argue in front of the kids , she also admits to being the one to escalate the argument. So she has pissed off the neighbours, her in laws and her DH but its ok because she is honest.

Your husband should not have called you this, but ‘I am just being honest’ is cheap cover for a multitude of sins.

Not even giving your family the option to try the cupcakes, which is presumably why DS was asking about them, sounds incredibly controlling

I'm only being honest is usually the response to being called out for being rude. And I don't let people walk all over me very often means I won't compromise its my way or no way .
Why do you feel stifled is it because your DH puts you down or because you don't always get your own way.

Is it just your OH that finds you negative and difficult or is it others as well?

😂😂😂 fucking called it

That's a massive over reaction from DH. My DH would laugh about it and make a silly joke to try and make me see things aren't so bad.
"Hey it's one less Christmas card to write".
It's also a massive over reaction from the neighbours. I personally wouldn't have let on that your son had told me you threw the cakes to avoid awkwardness all round. Your DH is well out of order as are the over sensitive mardy neighbours!!

OP, whilst it isn't at all ok to call you a bitch, I am wondering just how negative and critical you are.

It is draining and really dispiriting to live with someone hypercritical. They are often always right and routinely pour scorn on anything that doesn't reach their standards. I wonder if this is an aspect of your character and your dh has snapped.

As I said, completely unacceptable to become verbally abusive, but the truth can often lie somewhere in the middle. Only you know if thrown cupcakes is tip of the iceberg.

Except it sounds to me like he is a doormat outside the home who saves all his aggression for his wife. OP says he blows up at her.

Remember it’s him using abusive language and calling his wife a pathetic bitch. She’s not the one calling him a pathetic dickhead, even though he sounds like one.