DH called me a pathetic b****

I said it before.. you are totally missing the point, on purpose maybe?

She decided to throw them away before anyone had any, THAT is the fact, it would actually be irrelevant how long they sat there for, even though in her first post it's pretty clear they weren't there long:
Our neighbours sent some cupcakes with my son when he returned from a play date. . Unfortunately, they weren't particularly nice so I threw them away.

But regardless of that, her DH isn't mad at her for throwing them away, he's mad at her for being negative and critical and telling their son that they weren't very nice and telling their son that she had thrown them away.

There is no evidence to suggest that they had been sat there for days and that was the reason why she threw them out. Why are you like a dog with a bone about a piece of information that you’ve fabricated that has no relevancy to the thread? If she’d have binned them because they were stale then that’s a perfectly good reason and she would have said. She did however say the reason actually was because they didn’t taste very nice and didn’t think they would have been eaten because DH and DC don’t normally eat cake. There is your fact for you. So all you are doing is pushing an imaginary point needlessly and derailing the thread which is unfair to everyone else who have to keep reading your flurry of nonsense - which is more than a little bit tedious. Politely, please stop.

You all sound terrible tbh. You were rude binning perfectly good food coming from people that were nice enough to have your kid over AND send some treats, then telling your son you threw the cupcakes away as if that's normal and kind. Then the neighbours go psycho on you and take it on your poor kid (it really is not his fault). Your husband, probably the worst of all calling you a bitch...do ANY of you have any self control? You all seem very thoughtless....

"Telling it like it is" says a lot to me.

Well he's right - you should have told a white lie!

You might want to rethink your honesty - it is not always the best policy

You need to use what they teach kids in school about when it is ok to say something. 'Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?' Basically 2 of the 3 have to apply - or you don't say it. Your statement was true, but not kind or necessary

You need to contact the neighbour and say someone sneezed all over the cakes or something and that's why you had to throw them away

Living with someone who is constantly negative, critical and pessimistic is exhausting

He still shouldn't have called you a bitch though

You are both unreasonable and obviously clash - your poor ds (& you still have not said how old he is!)

It's not a possibility they were sat around for a couple of days though is it, because instead of saying 'they wouldn't have eaten them', op would have said 'they didn't eat them/hadn't ate them'.

If course it’s a possibility. It’s possible to see the cakes sitting there after 2 days, see they’re uneaten, chuck them and tell us they wouldn’t have eaten them because they’re not fond of cakes and they were uneaten.

Why do you think this is impossible?

Saying they wouldn't have eaten them implies that she had decided that on their behalf, which means they weren't given the chance to eat them..

Because she knows from prior experience that they’re not fond of cakes.

None of what OP says implies they had been sat around for days with opportunity for them to be eaten though, so you insisting that is a possibility makes no sense to be honest, besides, if that was the case, OP would have said "no one ate any so I had to chuck them away".

I said we don’t know how long the cakes were there for. Which is true. You’re getting bogged down in irrelevancies.

The facts are all there, you're just ignoring them.

So where does it say how long the cakes were sat for?

Your DH was rude and should not have said what he did. However, you did a stupid thing by telling your son you had thrown them away. Everyone knows kids can't keep things to themselves, and have no tact. If I were the neighbour I wouldn't be talking to you either. All the people saying you should have told a white lie are absolutely right.

It's not a possibility they were sat around for a couple of days though is it, because instead of saying 'they wouldn't have eaten them', op would have said 'they didn't eat them/hadn't ate them'.

Saying they wouldn't have eaten them implies that she had decided that on their behalf, which means they weren't given the chance to eat them.. except DS then came looking for them, which is when OP decided to tell him they were not nice so she binned them.. he came looking so chances are he wanted one and OP made a mistake by deciding that for them.

None of what OP says implies they had been sat around for days with opportunity for them to be eaten though, so you insisting that is a possibility makes no sense to be honest, besides, if that was the case, OP would have said "no one ate any so I had to chuck them away".

The facts are all there, you're just ignoring them.

Maybe he should start scoffing cakes from now so that OP can see he likes them.

Maybe if she had given him an opportunity to try them in the first place he may have liked them and wanted to eat them? He was clearly interested in trying them because he wouldn’t have asked where they were and got upset otherwise. Children’s tastes do change and often they like to copy others so if he’s seen his play date friend eat one or he had contributed to helping make them this may be why he was interested in these particular cakes if he doesn’t eat them normally.

I’m happy to admit that’s a complete overreach but this isn’t really about the cakes though. This is just a symptom of the problem as you are well aware but you are just refusing to engage in the obvious and are insistent in obtusely missing the point entirely whilst claiming the OP is the hero and her husband a villain when there is fault on both sides. Admittedly the OPs behaving is far more concerning if we are to take what’s been said at face value. Utterly bizarre.

How does she know?

If my OH presumptively binned stuff, I'd call it controlling....

Name-calling aside, I'm on your husband's side. He's not "wet" just because he doesn't go barrelling through life offending people and causing needless fall outs. Telling your son that the cupcakes were horrible was really unnecessary (and pretty silly - of course he's going to repeat that! The neighbour probably asked him point blank if he enjoyed them 😬).

Honestly, if I hosted/entertained/fed your kid, then he came back and told me you said my baking was shite, I'd think you were a bitch too.

Maybe she should fish them out of the bin for the DH.

Well of course they wouldn’t, she binned them. 🤔

She also said THEY WOULDN’T HAVE EATEN THEM.

she never said they sat round for a couple of days and no one ate them did she?

Yes, which is why I said ‘We really have no idea how long these cakes sat around for. They could have been there for a couple of days.’ And it’s a possibility.

She said they "aren't particularly fond of" cakes, not that they don't like them,

She also said THEY WOULDN’T HAVE EATEN THEM.

I’ve not twisted anything, you are getting increasingly tedious and laborious.

Quite. The “I’m just so honest I can’t help myself” thinly veiled excuse to justify being spiteful to people. It’s the same excuse teeangers use to bully others “well I was just being honest sir”. Sadly it does speak volumes and I cannot believe posters are going out of their way to defend it citing that everyone who disagrees with the OP is making a martyr out of the husband. This isn’t a sex based issue, because it’s a man and a woman but a generally being a moral and courteous person issue.

For goodness sake.

Poor kid stuck in the middle of you both has just lost a friend because of you. THAT is what you should be worried about.

She's just telling it like it is, and everyone should just deal with it... I wonder how much the neighbours have to deal with. Poor kid indeed.

You insulted him, he insulted you back. If you're at the point that you are having such ridiculous, petty arguments over cupcakes then FFS, get a grip.

Poor kid stuck in the middle of you both has just lost a friend because of you. THAT is what you should be worried about.

No, she said "they aren't particularly fond...."

That's a big difference

Ah " I tell it like it is" speaks volumes
You're confrontational and your DH is over sensitive
DS is confused and upset

Jesus Christ.

I wonder why you left the details of the argument out of the Op?

Do you usually do that? Just point out the bits your husband does wrong and pretend you did also throw around insults?