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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to teach

187 replies

idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 18:59

This is probably going to be a frustrating thread because there’s literally no way around it, I sort of have to teach because it’s the only thing I’ve done and the only thing I can earn the amount I do and plus the holidays (have young children) and so on.

But. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Teach.

I know about the FB group by the way but there’s no real feasible alternative for me at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 20:11

@hettie i have choices but it’s a bit rock and hard place isn’t it?

Its a bit frustrating to be brusquely told that you have choices when actually and realistically, you don’t, when the ‘choice’ is one that would have a serious and detrimental effect on everybody else in the family. You can’t just do what you want when you want when you have little children.

OP posts:
Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 20:09

I do try not to whinge at school much, I know it can drag the general mood down, but I had a shit afternoon in the rain with surly unpleasant y11s on very little sleep and I am unashamedly feeling a bit sorry for myself. I’m not a habitual whinger.

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hettie · 30/09/2024 20:08

Yes. But that's the point... There aren't initially... You either accept some short term pain for longer term gain or stay stuck, feeling like you've got no choice and hating your life....
I mean fine to whinge (a bit) but honestly you do have choices, they are just hard and come with trade offs.
I suppose you could argue you didn't see the all the eggs in dh's 'very important bringing home the most money' job has left you tied with the part time flexible duck it up job. But if one person becomes the default parent there is always that risk.

winewolfhowls · 30/09/2024 20:06

I think people in other jobs sometimes don't get that teaching is so draining and time consuming after school that it's really hard to have time and motivation to even research other jobs.

Redlocks30 · 30/09/2024 20:03

problem for me is realistically I am UPS3, so finding something t else for three days a week is unlikely to happen on the same amount of money!

Yep-I’m in exactly the same predicament.

ANightingaleSang · 30/09/2024 20:03

@Mynameistallullah
Business Analyst
Virtual Assistant
Personal Training
Content Writing
HR roles
Education Liaison
Corporate Learning and Development
Publishing
Project Management
IT jobs eg. Networking & switching
Career Advisor (at a college for example)
Pharmacy

There are so many options

Silvercat12 · 30/09/2024 20:03

I’m three years into teaching and I’m growing to despise it. I desperately want to re-train as a midwife but can’t afford to leave the profession to study for three years and cannot afford a pay cut. This makes me resent the job even more, as I view it as something blocking off what I truly want to do.

It’s definitely not the job it’s made out to be

Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 20:02

hettie · 30/09/2024 20:00

Kindly, very few new entrants into another profession/role get the flexible part time offer as a a first job....
To move you need to have something that matches your skill set (which will be different for all due to previous experience, subjects studied, other transferable skills). You'll likely need to apply to full time roles and ask for compressed hours once offered. When you've made the transfer and bedded in/shown your worth you can apply for more part time roles or negotiate PT/Flexi from a proven position....

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I think that’s the point she was making; that as much as people might say there are all these part time flexible roles available, actually there are not.

OP posts:
Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 20:01

Lots of people loving the ‘victim’ comments tonight. I’m not sure why it is being a victim to do something you don’t particularly enjoy; people work in jobs they aren’t particularly passionate about all the time to pay the bills.

OP posts:
hettie · 30/09/2024 20:00

Mynameistallullah · 30/09/2024 19:45

I'm not a teacher but am also interested in these flexible, part time jobs with good progression that pay better than teaching please ☺

Show quote history

Kindly, very few new entrants into another profession/role get the flexible part time offer as a a first job....
To move you need to have something that matches your skill set (which will be different for all due to previous experience, subjects studied, other transferable skills). You'll likely need to apply to full time roles and ask for compressed hours once offered. When you've made the transfer and bedded in/shown your worth you can apply for more part time roles or negotiate PT/Flexi from a proven position....

Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 20:00

@pandapopadance if we did that … blimey where to start.

It isn’t really possible but let’s say for arguments sake we do that. DH would need to find a completely different role in a different company and lose the benefits he’s gained in many years working for that company.

He’d be on far less money so we’d all be on significantly less money as a family even if I was FT. Childcare costs would also increase so we’d have to sell up and move somewhere not as nice.

It just isn’t doable.

OP posts:
Mainoo72 · 30/09/2024 19:59

I used to teach & the staff room was full of whinging teachers, many of whom are still there & still whinging. Several of us made a plan & got out. Don’t play the victim. You can do something about it. Downsize your life/house if you have to.

Ioverslept · 30/09/2024 19:58

TheElectricCity · 30/09/2024 19:23

I was in your exact position, getting paid just enough that I couldn't justify the pay cut in starting somewhere new, but not enough to afford retraining in something else. I also found it hard to transfer over skills; unless you have extensive leadership experience, you'll end up in entry level jobs with a massive salary drop which isn't feasible either. My only solution was to move country and teach somewhere else, I'm now earning more for a FT position with fewer hours than my PT position last year, in a more relaxed school with far better behaviour. I do actually have joy in my job now but I don't know what I would have done if I'd stayed as I was really hitting rock bottom with no way out. I'm sorry I can't give better advice but totally understand why you need to whinge!

So where did you go?

pandapopadance · 30/09/2024 19:56

Why do you have to be the one to cover childcare? Can't your husband be more flexible so you can move into a different role. You could work full time to match the money to start with and share more of the childcare?

Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 19:52

I’m very ambivalent as to how I feel about part time. I don’t feel it massively reduces my workload at all, and it does increase it sometimes in fact. But it does mean I’m not there as much. The flip side to that is that I often miss stuff and other people pilfer my things.

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Malaguena123 · 30/09/2024 19:51

planAplanB · 30/09/2024 19:13

Can you go part-time? Knowing I only have 3 days gets me through. I work another job for the other days that's mundane and boring - lovely!!

Same here! 3 days enough to get me through!

Machiavellian · 30/09/2024 19:50

Whinge away. It's a bit shit. It's a bit like we've painted ourselves into a corner isn't it? Completely get it.

Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 19:49

ManchesterGirl2 · 30/09/2024 19:46

YABU to play the victim. No-one forced you to become a teacher, and no-one is forcing you to stay. Millions of adults make ends meet through other jobs. Pick one of those routes, cut your outgoings if necessary, and make a plan.

I’m not playing the victim, I am whingeing!

OP posts:
Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 19:48

ilovesooty · 30/09/2024 19:27

In that case you'll really have to assess whether that's a reasonable trade off for you given that you're miserable. Perhaps at some stage the scales will tip. Only you can know that.

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If it was only me I had to think of I would agree but with a young family I obviously have to think of the impact it would have on my children and my husband. For them I can grit my teeth and plough through; I reserve the right to hate it though!

@JumpstartMondays oh I hear you … I hate the way people assume I’m having a ball, I’m really not and like you I’m up multiple times in the night. Last night DD woke at midnight and I didn’t get her back down until 2, then she woke at 6. DH took her for an hour and then I was late - not late late but arriving with the kids which clearly isn’t ideal. But I am so so tired.

And then things like deadlines, everyone else’s deadline is Friday but mine has to be done by Wednesday because I work PT. I’ve got a stupid open evening next week and will be stuck there until 730 too. (I know, other people in other jobs but I’m having a whinge about mine!)

@Whinge i like the username. Me too!

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ManchesterGirl2 · 30/09/2024 19:46

YABU to play the victim. No-one forced you to become a teacher, and no-one is forcing you to stay. Millions of adults make ends meet through other jobs. Pick one of those routes, cut your outgoings if necessary, and make a plan.

JumpstartMondays · 30/09/2024 19:46

Mynameistallullah · 30/09/2024 19:45

I'm not a teacher but am also interested in these flexible, part time jobs with good progression that pay better than teaching please ☺

Show quote history

Sounds like the holy grail! 🏆

JustBeenSleeping · 30/09/2024 19:46

I joined the FB group when it started and it really motivated me to leave. This year I celebrated my three year anniversary in my new job and I'm now earning more than I was in my last teaching post.

Initially I took a pay drop but within a year I had been promoted. As teachers we don't give ourselves enough credit for how transferable our skills are. My new employers trusted me with more responsibility very quickly. I have never regretted my decision.

I have annual leave but don't miss the holidays at all. My work is flexible and quieter during the school holidays. It works for our family. I would say what others have said. Plan your exit. You won't regret it.

Mynameistallullah · 30/09/2024 19:45

JumpstartMondays · 30/09/2024 19:43

there are lots of other part time/flexible jobs with good progression and that pay better than teaching. Such as? Can you give an example or signpost towards these jobs please? 👀

Show quote history

I'm not a teacher but am also interested in these flexible, part time jobs with good progression that pay better than teaching please ☺

Original poster
idontwanttoteach · 30/09/2024 19:44

@Redlocks30 thanks … problem for me is realistically I am UPS3, so finding something t else for three days a week is unlikely to happen on the same amount of money! Plus I do have to do this sort of work due to having to work around DH. And it fits well with children in some ways.

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira it isn’t controversial but not is it doable … I know I won’t get anything else for the same money which means I am trapped because I earn too much!

Thanks for letting me whinge … will read page 2 now!

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JumpstartMondays · 30/09/2024 19:43

ANightingaleSang · 30/09/2024 19:27

@idontwanttoteach there are lots of other part time/flexible jobs with good progression and that pay better than teaching. They are also less stressful. If it were me, I would be exploring some other options. You have many transferrable skills from teaching, no need to start at square one. I'm sure there would be employers ready to snap you up if you presented yourself right.

there are lots of other part time/flexible jobs with good progression and that pay better than teaching. Such as? Can you give an example or signpost towards these jobs please? 👀