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Original poster

Pointless term time working with a tween/ teen

36 replies

wouldyouratherdo · 30/09/2024 17:55

My DD is in year 4 - I've worked term time only since she was in reception, I work from home 4 days a week and I work 30 hours a week so she doesn't have to use wrap around care (she has high functioning autism and didn't enjoy clubs at her infant school).

She is getting to the age where she'd rather hang around herself pottering doing crafts than going out on activities with me. I'm wondering if it's time to go back to full time work so 6 weeks holiday rather than 13. It would bring me an extra £500 which would be useful.
I'd still only work 30 hours and am planning to keep collecting her at 4pm even when she is in secondary.

It just seems sad that a 9 year old would rather watch tv or do crafts than spend time with her mother - but I've felt this for the last few months and wonder if the extra money would benefit her more than me being around - I'm a lone parent so it's only my income we rely on.

OP posts:
Frowningprovidence · 30/09/2024 19:06

If your job is as you say, then yes, I work part time from home flexibly whilst DS with autism does his own thing as its pointless me watching tv with him for instance.

He does need monitoring and intervention. I couldn't do some types work..

SpookySpoon22 · 30/09/2024 19:05

@wouldyouratherdo that sounds a wonderful school set up - I wish there had been something like that for my DD!

It's hard to advise without knowing your DD but it doesn't sound like much would change for her immediately apart from you not being around in the holidays (how would that work?). However, you may find that she needs you a lot more for emotional support as she navigates the teen years. Would your employer let you switch back to your current hours if it didn't work out, or are you thinking of switching jobs altogether? Flexible jobs are worth their weight in gold.

Edited as I just saw your latest post. Sounds like it'd be fine to trial things if you can switch back at any point!

Original poster
wouldyouratherdo · 30/09/2024 19:02

@Singleandproud - thank you so much for your experience. This is why I plan to continue just doing 30 hours a week -so I am available for school drop off and pick up.
My employer is very flexible, so if the wheels fall off in year 7 I could take 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave to cover , or request term time only working again. I've been there for a decade and plan to stay until I retire. It just seems that year
4, 5 and 6 are going well so maybe the extra £500 a month would be best for us to ease the school fee pressure.

If my daughter was struggling at school in year 7 I would be able to renegotiate my contract

OP posts:
Original poster
wouldyouratherdo · 30/09/2024 18:57

I would not leave her alone in the house for the whole day but my work is unusually flexible, I don't have meetings etc - just record the tile I've spent on tasks so I can stop and make her lunch/have a chat

I need an extra £300 a month to cover the VAT on school fees- we are by no means wealthy but the school fees are my main financial priority and knowing they are covered would help me a lot.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 30/09/2024 18:57

No don't do it, the stat of secondary school can be brutal for teen girls. The wheels fell of for us in year 7 and 8, year 9 was far better.

I did leave a term time only job (teaching) for a more flexible but full-time / full year job WFH. DD likes me being around, I can still run her around, I can take a longer lunchs to take her to her friends. When she comes home from school I make her a drink and snack and am about for her to chat to or go back to work if she wants to chat later.

My advice- find something you enjoy doing together, for us it's cinema / theatre / eating out and we get some real quality time there equally a board game now and again is a cheaper option.

Original poster
wouldyouratherdo · 30/09/2024 18:54

@SpookySpoon22 - I moved my DD from state to private in year 3 after the autism diagnosis. She's at a tiny girls private school where a large proportion of the girls are autistic- so I think the transition to secondary won't be an issue - the prep is on the same site as the secondary and they start secondary transition in year 5.

I'd expect to work from home 4 days a week while she mooches about and would put her in childcare for my office day or have her stay with local family.

OP posts:
SpookySpoon22 · 30/09/2024 18:51

Not saying that this will happen to your DD but it's quite common for the wheels to come off for autistic DCs during secondary school, even those who were managing fine or with little support in primary. My DD stopped being able to go to school completely in year 10 and my work has been negatively impacted even 2 years later. I'm thankful that I stayed part time or it would have been even more difficult to manage.

JumperStripes · 30/09/2024 18:19

I think I would wait and give it an academic year before making such a decision.

Frowningprovidence · 30/09/2024 18:17

It's a bit tricky as although I am sure she is happy doing crafts and watching TV, I assume she can't do that unattended at year 4 with autism?

So are you thinking a job that you could work from home with just a light touch overseeing?

Woahtherehoney · 30/09/2024 18:02

Do You have childcare available in the holidays? You say it’d bring you extra money but would you then need to fork that out on childcare?

AdviceNeeded2024 · 30/09/2024 18:01

What will happen with her in the 6 week holidays if you go back full time? Do you think she’ll cope ok with you not always being there despite her being happy entertaining herself? Might be good to transition her and get her used to it before the upheaval of secondary school, do you think it’s a conversation you can have with her.

£500 a month is a significant amount of money and will no doubt make a massive difference so if you think it won’t have too much of an effect on her or she’d like the independence more I’d go for it. Try and look for a flexible employer though!