WIBU to speak with my daughter's friend?

This. Also, you're only getting your dds version of events. I remember my brother lying and saying he scored a goal at football when he hadn't for eg. Maybe your dd is a little jealous too? Definitely tine for her to broaden her friendship circle though sp she realises everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Ywbvvvu don't do this! Let the teacher sort it!
Plus you're only hearing one side of the story, imagine if xx then turned around and said I'm sorry yy was upset today but yesterday she did abc to me and that really upset me.
You'd then have to chastise your DD too. Regardless of whether or not you thought it was true because you've got exactly the same amount of evidence - the word of a child!
Teachers are there in the moment and can watch out for these things.

It awful to hear that your child is having a hard time at school. I feel for you OP.

Agree with pp that saying anything to the child probably isn’t the right way to deal with it (however tempting!). I’d stop giving the child lifts for a start and I wouldn’t bother making up a reason to tell her mum, I’d just say I’m unable to give her a lift now. Who cares if she’s upset or feels let down? 🤷‍♀️

Could you try a bit of role play with your daughter? Strategies for phrases she can have up her sleeve for next time an idea is appropriated/she is undermined? It’ll stand her in good stead for her adult life and for feeling out of her depth as she progresses through her teenage years.

If the teacher is any good they will already be aware of this child's personality. Your DDs perception that everyone loves this girl probably isn't accurate either.
Definitely voice your concerns. If your DD is having a hard time then she needs to think about what a friend actually is and that her own feelings matter. In year 5-6 friendships often change anyway as the children are maturing.

You're definitely right to involve the school - it looks like the type of thing that will be hard for them to manage especially with a 1 form entry but at the very least they should be aware and could move them to separate tables.

Also, keep talking to your DD and reassuring her it's fine to not be friends with someone and especially when they're not being kind. I'd also make an excuse not to give the girl a lift in future or host play dates. Just drop the rope and don't facilitate the friendship at all. It'll be confusing for your DD if you're saying "you don't need to be friends with xxx" then you're being really kind to her and her mum and helping them out with lifts etc. Try and model the civil but distanced approach that your DD could take.

If you can, get your daughter involved in Public Speaking or Drama classes out side of school. Don't mention anything to either this girl or her mother.
Both of those outside interests will help build her confidence and that can't be a bad thing, right?

Find an outlet or hobby they enjoy out of school perhaps because there will always be children of different confidence levels

You certainly won’t be able to control a smooth path at secondary school so give her skills to navigate tricky friendships now and alternative outlets to shine .

I might have a friendly general chat with the girl and see what comes up, definitely not confrontational, that would be bad on so many levels.

If the girl cries and tells then your daughter simply needs to say that she was unkind to her lots of times and that she doesn't want friends who think they're better than everyone else. In front of the girl if necessary. It's a hard lesson but needs to be learnt.

The teacher is aware. Wouldn't do anything ekse than sort my own kid.

OP, please note this. I’d be astounded if a teacher thinks a child who reports another child’s spelling mistakes is an angel.

Can your dd move classes ? This girl is an emotional bully and your dd is better off away from her altogether.

As others have said (and as you've acknowledged) - far better to speak to the teacher.

I would not be at all surprised if she already has at least a degree of awareness that this girl is something of a queen bee type.

I would just be careful about how you word an email/structure your conversation with the teacher though (speaking as someone who works in a school and sees how very differently parents can handle this sort of thing!).

So, far better to say something along the lines of

'I appreciate that X is a very confident, popular girl, but recently I've just been a bit concerned about the friendship dynamic between her and DD and I'm not sure it's entirely positive/kind/healthy'

rather than something like

'right, I'm fuming. You need to sort out X. She's being a right unkind little madam to my DD and the problem is everyone thinks the sun shines out of X so she gets away with it'

for example.

Approach A is far more likely to yield a positive discussion than approach B. Apologies if this seems like stating the blindingly obvious but believe me many parents do seem to default straight to B!

Hope you can help improve the situation for your DD, OP, it's horrible when they are upset with friendships

Do not speak to this child, the idea is appalling

Never speak to a child about issues especially without their parent there. The child could say something to their parent and it get totally blown up into something it isn’t. As others have said speak to the teacher. A teacher who spends all day with their pupils tends to know the kids personality and what they are like.

Speak to the teacher , but I'd bet she knows the dynamic already.

Definitely speak to the teacher

And (i say this with kindness) find ways to help your daughter build her confidence, self esteem and self worth

Get your daughter away from this girl asap. You can tell your daughter YOU are the one forbidding them to play together. That way your daughter can't be blamed and you can go ahead and tell the mother why if she asks.

As a teacher, if a child came up to me to report on another child's spelling mistake I would not look kindly on that child. So I suspect that the teacher might already have an inkling that the girl is not all sunshine and flowers.

omg glad you've realised you can't approach the friend - an actual CHILD. good lord. teach your daughter to stand up for herself and that you don't have to stay friends with people just because you have known them a long time.

her mum might have a superiority complex that she's passed on to her child, but maybe you have people pleasing tendencies that you've passed on to yours.

she's worried about hurting the girl's feelings

This is where you point out that this girl is hurting your daughters feelings, and doesn't seem all that bothered by it. We had a similar situation with DD and it was pointing out that friends support each other and really try not to hurt each other, that it got through to her that this girl wasn't really a friend to her.