to wonder if I'm out of touch with conversational norms?

I have indeed noticed a difference and there are a few things I've noticed that I think contribute:

• Rise of working from home and Zoom / Teams meetings. It's much harder not to accidentally interrupt on these and most people leading meetings are really reluctant to use the hands up feature and want people just to "jump in" if they have a question or anything to say.

When you're not with someone in person its harder to get those cues they're about to speak and so there's a lot of pauses then several people accidentally speaking at once. At first this came with "oh sorry no you go no you first" but I think as people started to get used to it, one person would just carry on talking to speed things up.

That made it feel more familiar for people to be interrupted and so became less of a social faux pas.

• People communicate a lot more with voice notes saying monologues at each other, going on big tangents. They each reply to several points in a row and it reminds me of my childhood writing letters and going through each point made to respond to it. This monologue style makes "normal" conversations a lot more difficult and it's more tempting to interrupt as otherwise people will quite literally go on interrupted for half an hour.

• Rise in ADHD diagnosis, of which one of the symptoms is interrupting others. I have ADHD myself and so I do not deny it exists and I don't even think it's necessarily overdiagnosed. I do however feel that people are much happier nowadays to say "I'm like this because of x. It's the way I am and there's nothing I can do."

It does take me effort not to interrupt, especially if I'm tired. The mental effort required in focusing, remembering not to interrupt or drone on too much does drain me and is a big part of my struggles socially. However because I'm constantly aware of this, I do tend to notice I'm doing it and either apologise or make an effort to course correct by asking them a question and purposefully staying quiet.

I feel the rise of diagnosis has led a lot of people to feel they no longer need to attempt to curb this behaviour as it's part "who they are".

• Men specifically interrupt women a lot. I believe sexism (especially with the Andrew Tate culture) is increasing again and with it so do behaviours like this.

Isn't it called having a conversation rather than listening to one person speak?

I think people in general are less polite and more impatient. I worked with someone who did it a lot, it was maddening because I could be having a discussion with someone else then we'd just lose the thread. I ended up telling her she was rude and she said she didn't realise she was doing it. I didn't believe her.
It doesn't help that it happens all the time on tv, nobody ever gets chance to get their point across in discussion programmes.

I thought that conversation was like a tennis rally with no breaks in it. I have always tended to join in while someone was speaking so we can both talk in overlapping sections like a relay race. If I don't start talking while the other person is finishing then I never get a word in at all.

I have a colleague who monologues endlessly and you are forced to interrupt them in order to get your input in. I am constantly having to ask, "May I share my thoughts, May I interject for a moment, etc etc." It's exhausting, honestly, and I feel badly that I dread talking to them because they are an otherwise lovely person.

I interrupt because I wrongly judge when the other person will have stopped speaking and sometimes am just over excited or too into what we’re talking about. Yes I seem rude but I do always apologise but then that’s probably annoying for people too!!!

Conversation is definitely an art form!

I don't find a lot of people interrupting as a norm but you could definitely pin point some typical 'types'.

The best kind is when you're in sync and it all flows and it's a real back and forth.

The worst is when someone has no conversation at all or a serial monologuer.

I suspect I am ND although undiagnosed so I try very hard in conversations with people I don't know very well - I tend to mirror their energy and style. It's draining though.

My husband, sons and I are all
interrupters. It’s really annoying, but we all do it. Our conversations tend to be lively so we talk over each other to make points.

I am pretty sure I don’t do it outside of immediate family and it drives me nuts if colleagues do it in face to face meetings. I actually prefer big meetings to be on Teams. They’re more mannerly as participants put up their hands to speak.

Yes this I find it infuriating, I can be having a chat and the child is constantly interrupting and rather than the parent saying I’m talking wait until I have finished they immediately turn away and respond to the child so when said children become adults they continue this behaviour because what they have learnt from the parent is that what they have to say is far more important than what anyone else has to say.

I do feel it is just as rude to point out when somebody has interrupted you "if you'd just let me finish" etc. Rightly or wrongly, it sounds abrasive and results in the conversation becoming frosty. I have ADHD and I've had to learn how to stop interrupting people quite as much. I've never done it being intentionally rude but because I've been excited about what people are saying. Someone has said "please let me finish" to me before and it made me feel rubbish and shamed.

I do struggle a lot if I can’t finish a sentence - like an itchy brain - but I don’t think my sentences are long!

I do agree with you that interrupting is rude.

However, some people do seem to be going on endlessly these days - there’s not a break or an end to what they’re saying, and it’s hard to be in a conversation where you’re not able to get a word in.

Yes, I've noticed this and a deterioration in manners generally. I don't think parents teach their kids these life skills any more. I had a visitor a few weeks ago who brought his two kids with him aged 5 and 9. He might as well've stayed at home. The kids interrupted non stop, non bloody stop. "Daddy look at my colouring book, daddy I want to sit on your lap, daddy I'm thirsty, daddy my finger hurts". Not once did my friend tell them to wait until he'd finished. I think we, as adults, shared about 10 words during the whole hour long visit. It was to discuss something fairly important too.

Acknowledging what someone else is saying with an mmhmm or I know what you mean isn't an interruption, it's active listening.

Are you a monologuer with little social awareness? Conversations aren't a one way broadcast.

I grew up in a household where you had to railroad other people to make your voice heard. My dad was a motormouth: opinionated and garrulous (and I am pretty sure was ND and didn’t get social cues) so gave people no quarter in conversation. It was everyone for themselves.

I have quite a high tolerance for it now tbh: it wasn’t great in many respects and you are right that interrupting is rude but sometimes you have to learn to project yourself,

Its certainly not great for people to dominate the conversation. But people falling over themselves to #bepolite has a stultifying effect on conversation too. I would rather speak to someone a bit gobby but interesting than someone who is overly concerned with not interrupting.

I understand there’s a middle way 😀

i would ask if you're having a conversation, or if you're monologuing.

My ex Monologued, then would get offended when 'interrupted' but if you didn't ,he would just talk and talk and talk and no-one else could get a word in edge ways.

Conversation is meant to flow, its meant to be a back and fore, not one person just monopolising and expecting everyone to hang on their every word.

My job involves customer service. When I'm giving advice to a customer and they interrupt it says to me that they aren't listening. And it's proven when they come back some time later and ask for instructions again 😩.

Or if they have a complaint and I'm trying to explain something they aren't interested they just want to interrupt and shout over me. Never mind the information I am trying to impart may give explanation to their problem and that it can help them find a solution. They just want to be the loudest.

People are more likely to interrupt if they think someone is going on at length (monologuing) and dominating the conversation.

I grew up in a household where debate and dialogue were encouraged.

Interrupting is rude.

So is going on at length about a boring subject.

I won't wait for you to finish, I'll say - just seen someone over there I need to talk to, sorry need to top up my drink or whatever

My pet hate is boring people lecturing others.

I actually do think this is some of it.

I was brought up similarly but I have noticed the art of conversation has been lost as a conversation includes a dialogue and too often I find people like to deliver monologues and this is just as rude. Disclaimer, not suggesting that's what you were doing but people don't appear to have the concentration to listen to others or have interest in others and just enjoy talking about themselves. My anecdotal test of this is 9 times out of 10, you ask someone about themselves and they hardly ever ask you anything in return.

I think some people are never taught not to interrupt by their parents. Even at 10+ they'll interrupt when you are mid sentence talking to their parent and the parent will attend to them immediately. It always seems to be something non urgent, so they just never learn not to do it.

I have noticed a big difference in middle class vs working class speech style. Not new - i noticed it back in the 80s when i (working class) went to uni and it was largely middle class folks.

They do like to tell a story! And some of those stories are very long indeed! In a group situation, some like to hold court and have everyone listen - could easily be 20 mins.

Whereas working class more back and forth quick banter.

Even now, years later, i walk my dog with a very middle class friend once a week and her stories are interesting but i think she does take up 80% of the talking time!

I have to stop her sometimes or i'd never get a word in!

I've never understood how conversations should go tbh. I always thought interrupting was rude, you'd wait and allow them to make their point, then reflect and respond. I also expect to be listened to in return, for then to wait, reflect and respond.

It seems to me that people these days are very set in what they want to tell you. They won't listen to your responses because they have something else they want to say.

I remember talking about holidays with someone. And they had no interest in any holidays I'd had and just wanted to beat I to me that they'd been to Crete for a fortnight.. if I mentioned anywhere I'd been, they'd bring it back to Crete. If I asked where they'd like to go next, they'd bring it back to Crete. More like a list of information they want you to have than a two way chat iyswim