To think that workplaces should be less accommodating of personal lives?

Employers are free to be less an accommodating, employees are free to go somewhere more accommodating.

Personally my work accommodate my daytime hair appointments and I work into late evenings when I need to. It’s give and take and being treated like an adult.

I take it the OP’s stomped off in a huff to go and be horrid to all the people she manages.

It's really not the employer's problem that female employees bear the brunt of home responsibilities, and to say it should be will disadvantage women if they have carte blanche to be less effective employees. Who would hire them if that was the expectation? I think employers have done what they can by giving parental leave to men as well as women and reducing the shock/horror when men leave on time in order to collect their children from day care. Also I see men regularly taking parental leave to care for sick children, at short notice. So the key is to give men equal leniency and expect them to use it, but not to allow women greater leniency than men. But beyond that reasonable point, women would just be shooting themselves in the foot.

YABU
Sometimes life throws you a curve ball you didn't see coming and it's at that time you need a supportive employer. I'm assuming that from the tone of your post that this is yet to happen to you.
During the last 4 years I've had to deal with 3 bereavements, one of which was my partner and a serious illness. That's quite a lot to deal with in a relatively short time so I was very grateful of having a supportive employer during that time.

Sounds like a real lack of motivation here and a lot of mismanagement. My workplace is extremely flexible and we don't hear any of this.

I agree. A lot of them have been there for 30+ years.

my “sort out list” is huge!

This came up on my instagram this morning. I think it’s relevant, though not strictly about work/life interface.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAdw-vzp7yN/?igsh=MmNrbDR5bWN1bm9t

It is only going to get worse!

Edited: I was trying to quote the person who said she worked in HR and the list of demands from employees has become ridiculous.

Sounds like your workplace needs to review selection processes. I’ve never encountered anything like any of those. You’re employing a lot of the wrong people.

I'm an employer and it 100% comes down to the person, blanket policies don't work for everyone.

We paid for a villa with private pool and all food and drink for our employees in the Med for a week (2 days of it they went to a conference, which we also paid for). We also said their partners could come if they paid for flights and understood that 2 days their partner would be at conference.

One person said, "You didn't buy me a big enough baggage allowance."
One person said, "You also need to pay for my travel time to get here" (they were not working any of the travel time and they were salaried).
One person unexpectedly did some extra work because they wanted to reciprocate.
One person took all the shared alcohol and hid it in their room.

Some people will feel guilty for asking to finish 5 mins early for a dentist appointment, other people want 6 months off because their FIL's dog died.

Also, since we live in a society where women still disproportionately carry the weight of caring responsibilities in a family, not being accommodating unfairly impacts women above men.

You get your best out of your employees when you reduce their stress and allow a good work life balance.

I'm all for people showing consideration in any environment (professional or otherwise) but the problem is that this has gone so far now that it is being taken advantage of by people who just lack the self-discipline and wisdom to keep their own lives on track. This is turn leads to low levels of being arsed about anything at all from the rest of the workforce. There's more to it than just that but it's definitely a developing theme in workplace culture and this is one of the contributing factors. I'm stunned every day at how little work people actually turn in these days. Any excuse is good enough to cop off.

An employer is more likely to attract and retain good staff who are willing to be flexible to the need of the business when there’s give and take, understanding and flexibility (not taking the mic of course)
I once worked for a firm that didn’t permit to to leave 3 mins early to go to your flu jab round the corner (I kid you not), every minute was documented. Safe to say me and the other girls left on the dot of 5 every day, such and such is running over could you stay and help-absolutely not! We did what we were contracted to to the letter and the managers had to pick up any extra.

Things I’ve heard this year:

”nobody would notice if I went to Sainsbury’s for 3 hours in the afternoon.”
”I don’t want to pay for nursery for my toddler so need to WFH to look after him.”
“I don’t like the office so I’m not going to come in the mandated 40% of the time.”
”I don’t like my manager any more and I want you to move me somewhere else, but not to anything low profile”
”I block out my diary for 2 hours every other Tuesday morning to have my nails done, then meet my friend for lunch”
”I don’t have agreement for compressed hours but just stick Fridays in as flexi time”
”You haven’t increased my pay in line with inflation so I’m not inclined to do my full role”
”I don’t like the project I’m working on so I’m taking 3 months off sick and someone else can deal with it”
”I’m going on mat leave and don’t think this massive project should continue without me - I find it discriminatory”
”I’ll raise a grievance if you don’t give me a good performance mark this year, even though I didn’t deliver anything”

There don’t seem to be many of us not taking the piss.

Goady much op?

But if it literally makes no difference to your output if you ask to work 8-4 one day rather than 9-5 so you can attend a parents evening why would it matter?

Good to see Kemi reaching out to us all on here

Oh and I can't flex to take the time off so my only other option is goodwill from my employer
Otherwise I would never be able to see a doctor or consultant

Spot on!

My personal view is, if you 'give' to employees when they are in great need of your support you will, in 90% of cases, get this back threefold.

Some will take the micky, of course, but not most.

I have worked for the same company for 16 years, most of the time life has been fine and I just get on with it. Occasionally life has thrown me a curve ball.. mastectomy, child’s MH, death of DF and work has been accommodating because I work hard and they appreciate me. Were they meant to dump me when I had my wobbles? Maybe refuse sick pay for the 2 months I took off after surgery, or refuse paid leave for my Dad’s funeral? Do you think I would still be a dedicated, loyal employee, putting in the long hours when needed, supporting other sites outside my written job role if they’d done that?
It’s give and take really isn’t it?

I’m guessing OP has a cushy number at work but resents those she deems lesser having perks / adjustments.

Bring back the workhouses!

Can't keep mine separate as health appointments only take place in work hours so yeah, I bring my health issues to work
Fortunately there's laws around disabilities so I don't have to keep it separate

Same.

Out attrition is far too low because of people who are comfortable and entitled and feel that actually doing what we pay them for is an unreasonable expectation. It’s ridiculous.