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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To read the riot act at work

56 replies

BigDeepBreaths · 30/09/2024 09:53

A couple of months ago I was advised i would be getting a discretionary bonus and it would be paid in Sept payroll. A fairly sizeable sum (for which i have worked my absolute arse off). My sept payslip has arrived and there is no bonus. I am furious. There could be a business reason that it isnt happening this month which I can accept, but im so angry i wasnt updated, not an email or chat to give me a heads up. It feels so disrespectful. It feels like I am such a low priority i dont even merit a conversation.

For context its been a bit of a shit show year and I have made it clear Im not happy about the way a number of things are managed and that I am lacking motivation due to this, and I think the bonus is in part reward and in part to stop me leaving. I am in a senior role with a lot of responsibility and whilst i can be replaced, it will be a huge ballache/expense for them.

The bonus was not confirmed in writing but boss gave me his word it was 99% there just needed final sign off. I followed up twice in Aug about this but then left it in his hands as i was fed up always being the one to bring it up.

AIBU to tell my boss what i think about his shit poor lack of communication on this and that I will likely walk as I feel so undervalued - not necessarily due to the money not being there but the fact he put it out there and didnt see fit to tell me that for whatever reason it wasnt being paid.

Also, its a boys club. I am the only female member of staff and I am pretty sure he would have had the conversation with a male colleague.

OP posts:
BarbaraHoward · 30/09/2024 09:59

Breezy email to whoever does payroll. Then take it from there.

I worked in a small family company that relied on word and trust. I left. Zero regrets.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 30/09/2024 09:57

Hope getting that out felt better. Before you go in all guns blazing take the time to find out why it isn’t there - could be an oversight. Also don’t threaten to walk - you might as well stand there and stamp your feet squealing it’s not fair! Either walk or don’t- no one is irreplaceable- we’ve just replaced 3 members of our SMT who walked because they weren’t happy - board seen it as a fresh start!

EauNeu · 30/09/2024 09:57

I would be taking steps to leave.

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 30/09/2024 09:57

Because you have nothing in writing, you don't have a leg to stand on. He may deny all talk of a bonus. If it was me, I would start looking for another job but keep it to myself until I have to tell him.

Lavender14 · 30/09/2024 09:56

I would double check this isn't a payroll accident first as that can happen and then if it's not ask why it hasn't been paid and then take it from there accordingly.

BigDeepBreaths · 30/09/2024 09:55

I should add we are a small firm, no HR and its essential therefore that we establish trust and be able to rely on word. Ive worked hard at this and feel let down on that front.

OP posts: