Should I pay boyfriend back

Omg!! PLEASE DO NOT THINK ABOUT HAVING BABIES WITH THIS MAN!! Stop making excuses for him - he's tight and controlling! 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Because it’s only been 2 months and he sounds like a knob?

yeah, you are missing some massive red flags!

Absolutely I can’t even begin to understand anyone telling her to pay him.

Why???

Is this one of 'those' threads?

Er yes? Massively.

1. You told him you did not want to go there. He ignored it because it is easier for him if you go to him
2. You were waiting to hear from him. He did not reach out until very late on.
3. He immediately accused you of cheating on him because you did not go over.
4. He is so cheap that he wants you to pay for food that you did not ask him to buy.

Is that clear enough? Either you are very naive, or this is a fake post.

Maybe split the difference, then split for good.

Unbelievable that people are suggesting you give this twat 20 quid.
Block and never given him a single thought again.

@Gymnasticsalltheway

1. He accused you of cheating
2. arrangements hadn't been finally agreed on but you said to meet near you instead of his - does he not listen to you? Why do you always have to go to his and is he too lazy to go to your place?
3. he bought food without agreeing arrangements

I would dump him for the cheating accusations for a start

Alright, I read work event as an optional evening thing.

Have better standards. You should dump him as a) the minute you don't do what he wants he gets angry, accuses you of cheating and being a liar b) you can do better than someone who takes his stress and issues out in you and expects you to do all the running around. He's lazy.

I get that you want to settle down and have a family but pick the right person, don't settle for this waste of space.

@Gymnasticsalltheway Pay him the £10 (not because you owe him, but because he is a petty twat) then BLOCK him and never speak to him again.

At least he's shown his colours just a couple of months in.

It often is really not possible to answer personal calls at a work event, especially if you are involved in presentations!

What are you on about @yousexybugger

She didn't go awol, she waited for him to contact her about where to meet up, he didn't. Eventually she was out of time and had to go to her work, where she then could not answer the phone or return his call.

He knew damn well what the plan was, he waited until she was at work and couldn't answer/return his call, to start calling her!

There was zero attempt on his part to confirm or sort out arrangements, until after the opportunity to meet up was over.

I think it’s sad that you can’t see what the issues are, he is taking advantage of you.

People are saying you should dump him because:

• You are having to sub him often/pay for things here and there
• You clearly said “no” to going to his house one night, no proper plan was made, and then he got arsey with you for not turning up, despite you saying you weren’t going
• Between the pair of you, you don’t seem to be able to make proper plans/organise things. The whole “when the day arrived I didn’t hear from him, so I decided to leave him be and go to a work event instead” seems very juvenile and frustrating. Can’t you talk to each other properly and make proper plans?
• You tell him you’re not going to his, he buys food anyway and then demands you pay for it.

He was wrong and odd to jump to cheating with no precedent but it sounds like you just went AWOL when he was trying to confirm arrangements because you felt indignant.

You don't owe him money, he can use the pizzas and the plan wasn't to go to his. Because you wanted to not do the travel for once.

I think the reasons for saying 'dump' are that he is jumping to accusations, and he is pushing for money when he bought food without confirming, also it is petty. Although I understand he is short at the minute.

I do think you were petty to ignore his calls though too. It sounds all a bit immature for 30, I'm afraid (although he is worse). If dates can't go to your house ever then you need to make arrangements so travel and visits etc are balanced.

I agree with 'dump' but I also think you can learn lessons too.

A friend of mine got into an abusive coercive controlling relationship. It started off pretty much like how you describe OP, then it got progressively worse. She eventually saw sense fortunately,

Lots of big red flags OP.

Dump. In the bin

Send £20 and be glad it cost you so little

He's a misogynistic, love bombing gaslighter controlling and probably a cocklodger

You are a nurse with a purse. He is quite clearly unstable.

If you lost your job how would you behave? Id probably think " poor chap doesn't want o be with a looser like me now unemployed" and sent them free.

You are better than this.

You may wish to 'be like everyone else and married, pregnant etc" but
Choose wisely,
He is what we call a mind f*.
Unhappy and then claims you cheat.
Harrasing you while at a works do.
Oh please, block and good bye you want this drama already. No way.

also agreed. When you have children with a difficult person you are linked to them forever. He sounds like a difficult person, very entitled, who gets stroppy and gaslights when he does not get his way. Not what you need in his life.

A friend of mine who could not find a suitable partner conceived with a sperm donor in her late 30s. She is much better off than being joined at the hip with a loser.

If you are only 30 then you have time, and you have options.

He bought food. Why would you have to pay him back for food he will eat himself?

Tell him that you truly, honestly wasn’t with someone else but you fully intend to be from now on.

Tosser.

Am I supposed to believe this?

There was no misunderstanding here.

He knew the plan was to meet up near yours somewhere, the 'where' to be decided nearer the time/on the day.

He knew you specifically did not want to go to his, again.

He ignored this, bought food, stayed silent to see if you'd chase him.

When you didn't do that, he blew up your phone when he would have been pretty sure you were at work, so unable to answer it.

Then he accuses you of cheating/lying etc because you didn't answer your phone straight away/call him back immediately (and this is why he waited til he was sure you'd be at work, and didn't call you earlier in the day!).

He has set this situation up to try to make it plausible (in his own mind) that you're in the wrong, in order to be in control, manipulate you, have a go at you.

He doesn't want a proper relationship with you, he wants to push you around, control you, have you hanging off his every word, running around after him, paying for him...and some sex on top.

Do not fall into the trap of thinking a shitty relationship like this is better than no relationship at all - it isn't!

Yes @Gymnasticsalltheway You are missing the red flag (s). You DID tell him that you'd like him to come over to your area and you did tell him clearly that it was a NO to you going to him this time? That's what I understand from your post?

Assuming I've got that right, he completely ignored what you said and decided to go ahead regardless. So a controlling individual and it's a fairly recent relationship. He will become more controlling as time goes on if you stay with him. He has demonstrated meanness by then making out it is your fault. So that's at least 3 🚩🚩🚩

And he has blocked you now, so he's dumped you in any case. Send him the £20 quid or not and then put him out of your mind. If you pay him the money, he may come back to you, but if he does just ignore him

Please keep your dignity.
if this man unblocks you just delete his number.
He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wasn’t your partner. He’s a man you met a few times.

At this stage he should be in his best behaviour, trying to impress you. He’s been an Oik.
Ignore & move on.