Should I pay boyfriend back

She could send a video of her rolling up and smoking a £20 note to show 'disdain' or a receipt to show she donated to Women's Aid or Shelter but really she owes him nothing emotionally or financially.

It's seriously dangerous to have to explain you're not cheating but simply at work. Where does that end up? With microchipping her?

That's an expensive way to be negative. His opinion doesn't matter. His poor choices don't mean she has to spend £20 or £10 or whatever number he sends to her. That's a way of him being in charge.

I took it as more to show disdain for him and his money, and the money is not why they're dumping him - not because she owes it. I could be wrong.

Major breakdown of communication which may not get better

He should have checked and confirmed arrangements before buying food (who doesn't when in a relationship)

You should have been clear to him where you were and that you would be out of contact (I tell my now husband this and have always done so, just in case there is an emergency)

He bought food he could consume himself and didn't check first so you owe him nothing, but perhaps pay for the next joint takeaway if you want to be kind (I get it. I would do the same)

Don't have a baby with this man though if he accuses you of cheating just cause he can't get hold of you, he needs to apologise and mean it.

I was 29 when I met my now husband who is several years older, we got married and have 2 children. But we got to those conversations very early as neither of us wanted to waste time. If it doesn't feel right, move on, you still have time and don't worry about what other people around you are doing, this is your life and your journey, not theirs, comparison is the their of Joy. You need to be truly happy with YOUR situation, even if that's being single (go on a big holiday on your own, be happy with your own company),

End the relationship.

They're all him or they run scams like him or they are MRA who just hate women?

Asking again as no one has answered - everyone saying pay him the money - WHY??? She owes him nothing. What’s anyone’s reasoning that she should pay? I honestly don’t understand

This reeks of a drug habit. I might get flayed for this but the sudden loss of employment, no job, erratic paranoid behaviour, and mania over money just gives me the clue. Cocaine and / or weed, if I had to call it. You know he’s a tool, either way. Ping him the score and wish him luck x

Your anxiety to start having a normal ‘life’ with a partner etc appears to have made you lower your standards.
His response in this situation suggests he’s aggressive and mean spirited when things don’t go his way. This is not someone you want to build a life with.
Pay him back and move on. There are better partners out there for you.

Why on earth do you want to keep the peace with this looser?! Pay him don’t pay him, whatever. But please don’t bother with him any more. You seem to have got this thing so many women have that they’ll settle for so little.

The un called for, unevidenced accusations of you seeing someone else/being unfaithful are a total red flag! Be careful!

Accused of cheating, demanding money for food you never agreed to and you ask why people are saying get rid??!!!
trying to justify his actions for him because you haven’t had a relationship in a long time is not a good look, screams desperate. I sure as hell would not be putting up with that bs. Major red flags and acting like a child.

O it's so depressing. Women, you think you're being kind and helpful, you see O poor thing. Users like this twerp see SUCKER stamped in red across your forehead. Don't be back on here in 2 years asking how to get rid of him. Do it now and feel a sense of achievement. Lose him.

Can't believe this is serious but if it is, then time to throw him back OP. This is the beginning of control. Block him, dont pay him, let some other poor woman waste her time on him.

the £20 isn't even the main worry here.

he accused you of cheating!!!! Just because you didn't do as he wanted (go to his) and didnt answer your phone instantly.

Yeh.... good luck having a baby with him, sitting at home with the DC whilst in his total control.

Yep. I fear you are right.

Darling -
How this man behaves is who he is. You can't change him.

You deserve so much better than this man. You are 30 - you have time to find someone else.

Can't for the life of me see why you'd want to hold on to such a prize specimen.

Maybe try reading the OP again instead of making shit up?

He expects you to make all the effort, happy to take things you've bought for him, wants paying for something he could eat himself, (he's got 2 meals now), being rude and accusing you of cheating!! He does sound a bit controlling tbh. How long have you known this man? Quite a few red flags for me, sorry OP

“He then accused me of cheating and lying about where I was.”

A red flag to me - beware. His present situation could well make him feel irritable but does NOT give him the right to behave like this even if he had been mistakenly looking forward to seeing you. As for the accusation of cheating, that would be a deal breaker for me.

This was not a miscommunication this was him completely ignoring what you said.
He got the pizza because he was assuming that you would be chasing him when he didn’t make arrangements to come over and that you would give in and go to him. When you didn’t he blew up your phone and accused you of cheating. You don’t behave how he wanted to so he got angry and blocked you so that when he reappears again you are so grateful and run back and do what he tells you next time.
bin him!

You can tell from the OP’s comments that she is not going to dump him, or heed any of the advice given here. You can tell how this relationship is going to go, as this man is already showing his true colours

Don't pay him and don't bother with him again, he's not a nice person.

Why does being a 'petty twat' deserve a cash reward
What is wrong with people spending OP's money
Isn't the gender pay gap bad enough without women paying for food they didn't expect, want, eat, smell, or see?