AIBU for giving DD6 a row for breaking things?

DD4 is like this. She got a gorgeous crown of feathers and within 1 day had ripped every single feather off. Not through malice or temper but purely sensory fun, play and idle fiddling. She breaks all sorts and manages to be graceful and caring yet so bloody rough 😂 it's a nightmare,

Op, it’s hard with 6 year olds. and I think you did the right thing to remove stuff, while reinforcing her to be careful and treat stuff with respect. She will get it eventually.

I’m not arguing anything.

I was telling. You to calm down with your wild assumptions.

hth.

The irony that you’re still being condescending when arguing you’re not 🥴

😂😂😂😂😂 looking down my nose, ok.

calm down hen.

I am English with English as a first language and have never heard the phrase give her/someone a row

I think removing delicate or breakable things is the right course of action and she is only allowed access to those things when supervised so you can model how to be careful and monitor and correct if she is at risk of damaging something. You need to teach her how to be careful as this is obviously something she has not picked up so far.

When she starts to show more care when supervised you can start to allow access unsupervised to one thing at a time with reminders. Then gradually let off the reins.

Your husband's approach won't achieve anything as it's not teaching her that it's just ok to break things, or how to not break things. It's important children learn to treat their and other people's things with care and that things don't just get replaced if broken or "well I have more/other toys" so it doesn't matter if things get broken. Taking no action is where you end up with entitled, ungrateful adults.

You don’t sound too harsh to me.

If she was apologetic at all over any of those things I’d say you were harsh but her attitude of 'you can just get me new stuff' shows behaviour I’d be nipping in the bud.

I was also distracted by ‘gave her a row’. Although obviously worked it out.

I think that you were too harsh.

I feel like you need to cut her some slack, but I do get your annoyance. Yes, it is frustrating that she appears so clumsy but some kids just can’t help it.
DD was the same at that age - always breaking something (sometimes deliberately). Always fidgety etc and although she’s a lot better now (14) she’s still clumsy.
I would emphasise that grandma went to lots of effort with the giraffe, ditto you with the necklace and ask if she realises it can upset others when she is like this with her things. See if she opens up.
Sounds like she is one of those million miles a minute type of people. It can be as exhausting for them as it is for those looking after them.
Give her a hug and talk about counting to 10 or deep breaths next time she wants to rip something apart. Counting really helped my DD when she felt a bit out of control.
Good luck

Good grief, OP. She is 6! Please, be the adult about this.

I agree with your husband. Just don't give her new things or only give her things you don't mind getting broken. This is who she is. She doesn't do it on purpose or to hurt anyone.

She just needs your guidance on how to deal with things, not your "rows". That would have just hurt her and probably scared her as well. And no, she will not yet be able to connect the dots about hurting granny by breaking her present.

A row is an argument.

6 YOs have no real concept of money/time/sentimental value of objects. It's your job as a parent to teach her, gently, that we can't break things and expect to still have them. That we can't ruin things that other people have spent time making without hurting their feelings etc etc. Children do not view the world in the same way as adults. Every single thing is a a learning opportunity for them. If they've not seen a certain object before it's natural that they want to know how it works. Some kids are more inquisitive and dexterous than others.. the unraveling crotchet I would say was her being inquisitive. The pulling the necklace off a complete accident. I used to call DC the destroyer as they just wanted to take stuff apart to see how it worked. Maybe focus more on construction type toys. MN will diagnose her with ADHD but in reality it's completely normal child behaviour. So normal it's a trope.

6 year olds are careless with jewellery, that's why you give them cheap stuff only.

It's interesting that everyone is getting invested in the word row but I fact I don't think anyone has disagreed with that part of the OPs action. It is the removal of all the fragile items from the child's room and putting them in the attic, an action the OP clearly states her DH says is a step too far that is the real AIBU issue.

Oh come in now, apply some thought for 2 minutes. Read the OP and use your brain?

I'd never heard this term until 4 minutes ago but could clearly work out it means a telling off.

We say it in Wales too.😊

Also wondered this I have never heard this phrase

To have a row is to argue- verb

Never heard of a row as a noun

Assume it's the same as a "telling off"

Must be pretty unique dialect

Native English speaker

There’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done OP. It’s called parenting, she has a careless attitude to things and you’ve addressed it. You can return things one by one, at her choice whilst she proves that she can take better care of stuff. Genuine accidental breakages happen, of course they do and she shouldn’t be punished for them but what you described is just a complete lack of care.

@MissJoGrant i had never heard the phrase until I married my Scottish husband. Think it’s a phrase used only up there.

What do you think it means?

My 11 yo can do great with lego but we now know is autistic and dyspraxic. She tends to lose things rather than destroy them. It's constant though.

Also yes do this. She has to be able to earn it back on a fair timescale otherwise it is draconian.