Husbands drunk on holiday...

This is 100% spot on.

If he has history with drinking a bottle of whisky a day, that entirely changes everything about this situation. He's a selfish prick and he hasn't cared less about ruining your holiday. Time to think about leaving him.

If he has history with drinking a bottle of whisky a day, that entirely changes everything about this situation. He's a selfish prick and he hasn't cared less about ruining your holiday. Time to think about leaving him.

I think you either have to accept he will always be a problem drinker or leave him.

His first marriage split. He didn't learn his lesson.

Youve asked him not to. That didn't work even on your birthday weekend which should be all about you and not his selfish ass.
So I doubt he ever will.

So accept the drinking or leave him once you get home. Id choose the latter.

There is no point in paying for flights or separate rooms or anything when you are coming home tomorrow anyway unless he is violent. Is he?

I'd suggest you don't try and talk or confront him. If he is reasonably coherent id be all 'I've had a nice afternoon by the pool and ate pizza, shame it's the last day' and not discuss anything or get him angry til you're home.

Then id leave him as I can't stand alcoholics. They change into assholes once drunk but they don't see it. Id rather be single tbh.

@Staunchlystarling You're suggesting he can't be that drunk/have a problem with drink because he is texting and I am telling you that in my bitter experience that is absolute nonsense. And alcoholics don't have 'historical issues'. Their issues are there for life and it is always one day at a time.

OP, the behaviour you describe is that of an alcoholic. For those that have never lived with one, they won’t understand that it’s not to do with frequency, it’s to do with their powerlessness to stop or rein it in after a few pints or whatever.
He won’t stop until he recognises this.
Please get some support, Al-anon is a good resource for family and close friends of alcoholics but also read up on co-dependency and alcoholism. .
Essentially, your husband could leave it six months and not drink but if he does, it escalates because of his alcoholism and will get worse and worse, as will his treatment of you.
It is not your fault. You can’t control his behaviour or reason with him, but you have also not caused it. I can’t emphasise that enough.
When he is drunk, he will say anything to push you, away merely so he can continue drinking.
It’s like a script; in that moment nothing matters but the next drink, because it’s an addiction. Ignore the word salad, it’s hostile rhetoric that is designed to wound and make you back off and leave him ‘in peace’.
I feel for you having your special occasion ruined by his selfishness, but the conversations need to happen when he has not been drinking.
Lay down your boundaries when you’re home, and let him decide whether he wants a future with you and your family, or one where he carries on drinking, but if he doesn’t accept he has a problem, you need to distance yourself and your kids, it doesn’t end well.
Sending a big hug. There is hope, my DP is 2 years sober, but I had to have real resilience to get through the pain of the last few months of alcoholism and make a pact with myself that his choice was that it was me gone or the booze. NB: mine also didn’t drink every day so he could claim he was in control but in the last few month's before he went to AA and got sober it got worse very very quickly. I was so naive that I blamed myself and was doing things like tipping the wine down the sink and trying to talk to him about how upset I was . None of that works: he is miserable right now, but the only way he will see that he’s the agent to that misery is for you to go ans happily as you can about your business and not interfere. Communicate your expectations and then leave him to draw his conclusions. If you are not on his case, he cannot then ‘blame’ you for how rubbish he feels. Maybe then the penny will drop.
I sincerely wish you the best.

Quite a few people posting in this thread seem to have no knowledge of alcoholism. Or what it's like to live with an alcoholic.

Why on earth did you stay with him after that?

OP, your husband is an alcoholic. It doesn't matter that he can go for months without a drink before a blow out. Anyone who once drank a bottle of whisky a day and simply can't stop after that first or second drink is an alcoholic. The time gaps don't negate this. When you get home you need to have a very serious chat with him.

But that’s not what she said. Dial it down.

You need a short term plan to make sure you are safe tonight and can get home tomorrow (separate room if you think necessary). Personally I’d do what it took to get through the next couple of days, avoid the argument if possible, there’s no point today.
Then when you are home a longer term plan to separate. It’s highly unlikely he’ll change OP. The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour. He has to want to stop and he clearly doesn’t.

So many people suggesting OP 'isn't compatible' with this guy. Who on earth would be except another alcoholic? His previous marriage broke down because of his drinking. Was that the ex-wife's fault too?

Sorry OP, I missed that, makes sense now.

Is he ever drunk around them? I know it's not many times a year but when he is drunk?

He's an alcoholic and you need to leave him. You should get yourself to the airport and leave him there. Right now.

Admitting he drank a bottle of whisky a day and his first marriage failed due to his drinking goes beyond letting your hair down and drinking 8 beers once in a while on holiday. He's acting shitty because he has an issue with alcohol and 8 beers in has whetted his appetitie to drink more. I like to binge drink on ocassion, but wouldn't choose to do it on my DH's (who isn't a big drinker) birthday weekend, not because we've ever argued over it, but because the weekend is about him having the best time and not me getting smashed into oblivion.

@Staunchlystarling believe me, alcoholics can send texts and 'historically had an issue' isn't a thing if he is an alcoholic and is currently drinking.

He knew what your feelings were and did this anyway. He's not going to change OP. Don't let him blight your life or your kid's lives for another second.

Just how pissed is he if he’s gone to the restaurant you booked and is taking photos and sending coherent texts?

Sounds like you’re wildly incompatible and he’s not going to change as he doesn’t think he has a problem.

I loath being around drunks, especially aggressive ones. Too much experience of that growing up around them.

I don't understand what he and you mean by 'family holidays' though, if neither of you have children?

His first marriage broke up, it wasn't important enough for him to stop drinking like this - and he's doing it again. I would call it a day and let him find another drunk if he's so in need of a partner. You'll never be happy with him like this and he doesn't care enough to stop it. I wouldn't waste any more time on him or the marriage because he's been there before and nothing has changed.

Don't wait for him, get yourself to the airport in the morning and get home.

The key word here is history. She says he goes out with family and gets drunk 2-3 times a year, past thay doesn’t touch it.

To be fair, he is texting or normally, able to take a pic, add it to text etc, that’s not usually the sign of someone off their face. And if he can tolerate a bottle of whisky , 8 beers over as many hours isn’t going to touch the sides.

whilst I fully agree he historically had an issue. I am struggling to see how those texts are from a man who is so drunk he can’t see straight

Even if a lot wouldn't find his relationship with alcohol a problem, Op does.

I rarely drink, neither does my husband.

What others do is of no consequence as we're happy with each other!