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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it me?

40 replies

pushing50fromtheothrside · 29/09/2024 15:31

I'm not sure if I am going crazy here ...
aibu - you over reacted / get a grip
I'm outrunning and my music suddenly stoped- so I slowed to check my watch.
Man on bicycle says "don't stop those legs are getting big."

I shouted at him to come back and say that to my face .... he cycled off at speed - I tried and failed to catch him (we was on a bicycle ...) shouting "why do you think its ok to comment on a woman's body etc etc" I wish I had been able to shrug it off but I didn't /wasn't. So now I'm mad at him and myself.

Cut run short walk home and tell my husband abs he laughed at me and said I over reacted - I KNOW I over reacted but still come on .. I just wanted a chill run in the park !

OP posts:
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Dontlletmedownbruce · 29/09/2024 21:35

Honestly I think you did over react because you gave this man exactly what he wanted, a reaction. I totally get why you are angry but I can see why it might seem comical to DH. For me it would be something to just forget about. That guy was an asshole, don't let him get in your head.

Original poster
pushing50fromtheothrside · 29/09/2024 21:30

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/09/2024 21:26

@IntheVicinity I wish a horrible, permanent itchy arse on each of those men. I hope their arses don't stop itching until they die.

Meanwhile you can wash the milkshake off.

I second that - @IntheVicinity so appalled to read your experience - so horrid I wish I could go back in time and chase down that guy for you ...

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/09/2024 21:26

@IntheVicinity I wish a horrible, permanent itchy arse on each of those men. I hope their arses don't stop itching until they die.

Meanwhile you can wash the milkshake off.

IntheVicinity · 29/09/2024 20:34

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/09/2024 20:07

"Thanks random man" is a good retort.

I would be horrified if my DH laughed about this. Outside the house you expect this kind of shit constantly from fucking 11 years old. But inside, no thanks.

Exactly to both. I’m not surprised you reacted as you did, OP. I’ve had similar. It’s infuriating.

You know all those ‘This Girl Can’ type campaigns about getting girls to be more active and into sports? The number of girls being active outdoors would triple overnight if they were able to exercise in public without men continually commenting on their bodies. I stopped running in 2011 when the culmination of a series of nasty comments was a bunch of men throwing a McDonald’s milkshake over my head from a passing car, when I was miles from home, and had no other way of getting back other than running.

PennyApril54 · 29/09/2024 20:29

You're not unreasonable but also ignore it. He ruined that moment but he's a moron, don't let him ruin any more of your peace.
Of course you wished you could have caught up with him and said something like 'if I'd wanted to hear from an ass I'd have farted' but he was too fast (he knew this) and that would have only given him more attention anyway. Forget it. Enjoy the running.

Screamingabdabz · 29/09/2024 20:18

You didn’t overreact although I always expect men in Lycra on bikes to be absolute cuntish arseholes. It’s just who they are.

Tigertigertigertiger · 29/09/2024 20:13

You over reacted

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 29/09/2024 20:11

Your DH is a dickhead for reacting the way he did.

ohyesido · 29/09/2024 20:10

It is kind of a funny scene, bet the fool wasn’t expecting that and riding off at speed suggests he’s a melt.

but honestly it’s so much better not to react at all, people like that get their satisfaction from being noticed. I’ve been subjected to unsolicited nasty comments from passersby and i don’t even look up. They often say it again louder thinking I must not have heard, and end up looking a bit foolish.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/09/2024 20:07

"Thanks random man" is a good retort.

I would be horrified if my DH laughed about this. Outside the house you expect this kind of shit constantly from fucking 11 years old. But inside, no thanks.

autienotnaughty · 29/09/2024 20:01

Hopefully he will think twice next time. Good for you 🤛

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 29/09/2024 18:02

I hope his bike got two flat tyres. YANBU

Octopies · 29/09/2024 17:59

Man was a dick. Next time call him out but don't bother to run after him, as in his tiny peanut brain, it probably made him feel important to have a woman chase after him.

xyz111 · 29/09/2024 17:54

Well done on calling him out over it!! You scared the shit out of him 🤣

LilBowWow · 29/09/2024 17:40

Wouldn’t you love to put a stick in their spokes? I recently had a bloke cycle alongside me, telling me to go faster. Was actually offended when I told him to fuck off. There was a man running down the opposite side of the street, why not go and ‘encourage’ him?

EatSleepSleepRepeat · 29/09/2024 17:34

PoS.

Next time, photo and put up pictures of him on his route saying "have you sent this man? Makes rude comments about women's bodies. Reported to the police. Please report similar behaviour to X police force using reference number Y."

Whether you report him or not is up to you. But it may be the start of an escalation. And it might shame him to people he knows.

GivingitToGod · 29/09/2024 17:27

Thfrog · 29/09/2024 16:52

You didn't over react but your reaction was pointless as men like that don't give a shit

This

Portalsalways · 29/09/2024 17:23

I am confused by the man’s comment to be honest.

Yes your reaction wasn’t great because you have caused yourself more upset and frustration.

But it’s done now. However, you do need to think about what you would have done if he had come back and said it again. Safety is important.

Lifestooshort71 · 29/09/2024 17:19

You reacted in your way, I wouldn't have done but then I'm not you - I'd have probably had a little giggle to myself and thought....well, you should see the size of your bum in that lycra! But then I'm in my 70s with only one boob and I've learnt to shrug personal comments off, then come home to have another giggle with partner about it and have a cuddle.

Original poster
pushing50fromtheothrside · 29/09/2024 17:17

ProfessorGambol · 29/09/2024 17:15

YANBU. Cyclist was rude and deserved to be yelled at. Husband should have been supportive and empathetic, not laughing it off. Sorry that happened to you. I hope your next run is not spoiled in the same way.

Thank you

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ProfessorGambol · 29/09/2024 17:15

YANBU. Cyclist was rude and deserved to be yelled at. Husband should have been supportive and empathetic, not laughing it off. Sorry that happened to you. I hope your next run is not spoiled in the same way.

Button28384738 · 29/09/2024 17:15

You didn't overreact, well done you for calling him out on it!

Original poster
pushing50fromtheothrside · 29/09/2024 17:15

SerafinasGoose · 29/09/2024 17:06

Arsehole. And a coward to boot. Women are allowed out of doors unchaperoned, but judging by the heckling so many get when out running, no one would think it. What the hell is wrong with men?

I want to applaud you, OP, but in future please do take care, and risk assess the situation. Were this another type of man it's not too much of an exaggeration to say you could end up in a ditch.

Incidentally, what the fucking hell is your husband about?

Agree ... I'll try to say 'not cool' or similar next time and not confront... I saw red and thoughts about my safety went out the window - I regret losing my cool it was not a measured response ...DH had apologised not sure he fully gets it I'll talk to him later ...

OP posts:
Original poster
pushing50fromtheothrside · 29/09/2024 17:09

Allfur · 29/09/2024 17:02

Nice of your dh to minimise something that would never happen to him, given he's a man

I know! That was such a huge part of it ...there were a fair few men running on the same stretch and no way was he saying anything to them

OP posts:
SerafinasGoose · 29/09/2024 17:06

Arsehole. And a coward to boot. Women are allowed out of doors unchaperoned, but judging by the heckling so many get when out running, no one would think it. What the hell is wrong with men?

I want to applaud you, OP, but in future please do take care, and risk assess the situation. Were this another type of man it's not too much of an exaggeration to say you could end up in a ditch.

Incidentally, what the fucking hell is your husband about?