My oldest friend, Jane, recently moved back to her university city; partly for personal reasons, but also because she was offered a job there. She hadn’t been working for a while when she got this job, so is playing catch-up financially, but she decided to treat herself to a birthday night out last weekend. I travelled to join her.
Jane has quite a few friends in this city who I haven’t met before. She was excited for me to meet them, but singled out one in particular, Marian. She was saying she just knew we’d get on great, she’s so lovely etc.
Anyway, we go out for Jane’s birthday meal. After about ten minutes, Marian and her boyfriend haven’t arrived. We order wine, but say we’ll wait for them to order the food. Ten minutes turns into 20, then 25… still no sign, not even a “sorry, running late” text. The waiter has been back asking if we know when we’ll be ready to order, then to try to sell us more wine (which Jane very quickly said no to, which I’m 90% sure was down to budget). I suggest it’s time to ring Marian and check she’s definitely still coming. Jane does; Marian says the traffic is terrible, but they’ll be there any minute. 10 more minutes pass; everyone is hungry and in need of a drink. I say I’ll treat us to some Prosecco as it’s a special occasion (mainly to pacify the waiter, who’s clearly concerned about a table for eight having been there over half an hour without ordering).
Marian and her boyfriend finally arrive 45 minutes late. Not a word of apology; just babble about the traffic, you wouldn’t believe it… no attempt to even pick up a menu. Jane’s clearly waiting for a pause in the monologue that I sense isn’t coming, so I say “Sorry to interrupt, but I think we really need to order; they’ve been over a few times now”. Marian umms and ahhhs over every bloody menu item like she’s got all day, rather than being 45 minutes late and having pissed everyone off. She eventually orders.
But the rudeness didn’t stop there. The woman barely paused for breath throughout the entire meal. We had chapter and verse on her job, their flat, her hobbies… she didn’t ask anyone else a question or show any interest. I didn’t even hear her wish Jane a happy birthday. (If you’re wondering about the boyfriend, he barely said a word. I don’t know if he was just ignorant or has been stunned into silence by living with Robogob.)
Anyway, yesterday Jane rang me. She thanked me again for coming down - but then said, “Oh, I meant to say, Marian really liked you! She wants to know when you’re coming down again so we can all go out”. I’m baffled, frankly. I don’t know how she could either like or dislike me; she never stopped talking for long enough for me to speak to her, and she certainly wasn’t interested in getting to know me (or anyone else). I can’t understand why on earth she’d want us to meet up.
I’m hoping the idea will just fall by the wayside, but if Jane pushes it I’ve no idea what to say. She’s such a kind person and clearly sees something in this woman; I don’t fancy telling her that the “lovely” friend she was so keen for me to meet is, in fact, a total arsewipe. Do I just grin and bear it?