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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH refusing to drive my car

109 replies

GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 13:52

DH’s car is in the garage and has been for a week now (they are saying he won’t get it back until the end of next week!) which has left me to do all the driving over the past week. DH drives a tiny Fiat 500. I’ve tried to get him to drive my Tiguan over the past week but he just refuses and says it’s “too big” for him to drive compared to his Fiat. So I’ve had to do all the driving for the past week, including dropping him off at places where he could just drive to himself while I stay at home with DD but instead I have to drive him there because he refuses to drive my car. AIBU to just expect him to drive my car until he gets his car back and stop complaining that my car is too big? For example, last night he went for a meal with a friend, I had to take DD out the house twice to drop him off and pick him up, he could have just driven himself there like he would normally in his car but he wouldn’t do it as apparently my car is “too big” for him to drive,

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 29/09/2024 14:22

GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:09

His insurance covers third party damage if he’s driving someone else’s car with their permission.

Show quote history

Do you really want him driving your car if the insurance wouldn’t pay up for any damage if he had a prang? I wouldn’t.

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:19

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 29/09/2024 14:19

@GlowingStar tell him to get the bus!! you aint his personal driver!! is he too scared to drive your car or something????

Yeah I think so, he’s never actually said he’s scared to drive it but complains it’s too big.

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 29/09/2024 14:19

@GlowingStar tell him to get the bus!! you aint his personal driver!! is he too scared to drive your car or something????

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:18

He knows I’m happy to pay to put him on my insurance too though but he just complains the car is too big.

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 29/09/2024 14:18

GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:09

His insurance covers third party damage if he’s driving someone else’s car with their permission.

Show quote history

That would not be enough for me.
If he caused an accident you would not be covered for the damage to your car.

Inertia · 29/09/2024 14:14

GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:09

His insurance covers third party damage if he’s driving someone else’s car with their permission.

Show quote history

I would want anyone driving my car to be a named driver with fully comprehensive insurance.

I hate driving my husband’s car. That’s why I use a garage which provides a courtesy car. He does need to find a similar solution if this is a long term problem.

Janek · 29/09/2024 14:13

GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:09

His insurance covers third party damage if he’s driving someone else’s car with their permission.

Show quote history

So this means if he had an accident the person he crashed into is covered, but he would be responsible for the costs to your car. I think this is a massive risk and I wouldn't be allowing anyone to drive my car under those circumstances. Much less someone who didn't feel confident driving it in the first place.

NewGreenDuck · 29/09/2024 14:12

My DH had a car that I absolutely hated. It was the most uncomfortable car ever. I refused to drive it. Every time I sat in the bloody car I ended up with a back ache. I suppose some would say I was being difficult but it really was uncomfortable to be in.
If he doesn't like your car, I would say OK. He would need to get himself around though, until his own is back.

Tbskejue · 29/09/2024 14:11

I wouldn’t mind driving if we were both going somewhere but no I wouldn’t do lifts in these circumstances.

Gensola · 29/09/2024 14:10

I find it a bit babyish of him and would find it hard to be attracted to someone acting like this

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:09

crockofshite · 29/09/2024 14:03

Is he even insured for your car?

His insurance covers third party damage if he’s driving someone else’s car with their permission.

OP posts:
Marinel · 29/09/2024 14:08

If you are prepared to drive him around he has no motivation whatever to actually make the effort and become used to driving it.

I got a new car recently which was much bigger than my previous one, comparable to the Fiat and Tiguan. I found it a bit daunting for the first few minutes, but obviously as it was my car I was very motivated to get on with it.

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:08

Hadalifeonce · 29/09/2024 14:07

Tell him you won't be driving him anymore. You are happy to go with him for him to drive you car for a bit.

I’ve said I’m happy to go with him for a few drives so he can get used to it but he just says it’s too big.

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 29/09/2024 14:07

Tell him you won't be driving him anymore. You are happy to go with him for him to drive you car for a bit.

Greengrassgrowssofast · 29/09/2024 14:07

’car’s there if you want to use it. Sorry no I can’t drive you.’

totally his choice if he doesn’t want to drive it - there are other options - taxi, Uber, public transport, bike, walking etc… that don’t have to involve you.

Codlingmoths · 29/09/2024 14:05

yabvu for driving him around! What would he do if you were refusing to drive his car and expecting lifts?

crockofshite · 29/09/2024 14:03

Is he even insured for your car?

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:02

He won’t even drive it once to try it or try and get used to it. He just refuses and says it’s “too big” for him.

OP posts:
Macaroninecklace · 29/09/2024 14:01

Circumferences · 29/09/2024 13:58

He sounds considerate.
I wouldn't want my husband driving my car if he wasn't used to it!
You should be maybe a bit happy he's cautious and not an irresponsible twat

But how does he get used to it if he never drives it?

People aren’t born behind the wheel of a big car, they learn, by doing. A Tiguan isn’t even big, it’s a normal family car not a mini bus. I have some sympathy if it’s a particular car parking issue (there is one multi storey I refuse to drive our estate in because it’s so so tight) but in general it’s no different driving a big than a small car when you’re just going down a road or parking in a regular space. You drive carefully regardless, surely?!

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 14:01

BananaGrapeMelon · 29/09/2024 13:58

Just say no OP. Then he can choose between not going or driving your car.

I think I will from now on. I’ll probably still have to take him to/from work though until he gets his car back, but I can do that whilst I’m on my way to work as well.

OP posts:
Luddite26 · 29/09/2024 14:00

What a pathetic carry on both of you

Original poster
GlowingStar · 29/09/2024 13:59

I felt bad refusing to drive him because he had the meal arranged for a few weeks before his car broke. I’ll probably just say that unless he drives my car then for now the only lift I will give him is to drop him at work and pick him up from work while I’m on my way to/from work until he gets his car back.

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 29/09/2024 13:59

You didn't 'have' to take him.

Confusedmermaid1 · 29/09/2024 13:59

YANBU but I kinda understand where he’s coming from 😅 I had only ever driven small cars and I was so nervous to drive DHs small SUV when mine was having work done but now I’d rather drive his than mine 😂
Say no because you shouldn’t have to taxi him around and he might find it’s not as daunting as he thinks it will be..

BananaGrapeMelon · 29/09/2024 13:58

Just say no OP. Then he can choose between not going or driving your car.

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