Partner won’t marry me

Lots of police men think they have all the power at home too.

Be careful when "showing him what he's missing."

@Hedgewitch123

I don't know how you can say that from the one question I asked. Projecting much!!

Careful with the winding up

You don't want him to turn nastier than he already is

What

Just a side note for the hard of reading: the man is in a potentially dangerous line of work. He could die at any time. (Hopefully not). He has made no arrangement fir his live in partner and her children other than allowing her to continue paying for the mortgage (the whole cost of the mortgage) so that his children can inherit the house. As she will not be his wife and inherit, or have any tie to the children, why would she not leave and pay her money towards her own property at that point? Why would any woman hang around in this fake widowed position?

Everyone complimenting him on how sensible he is not marrying the OP and how sensible his supposed “life interest” plan for the OP has failed to realize that marriage offered him protection that OP would stick around and share the burden and care for his children in the event he was injured or died. Now he gets nothing.

But, OP, don’t play games with him or try to make him regret your going. The british police have an absolutely horrendous reputation for domestic violence and misogyny . Just get out fast.

The fact that she is paying half of ALL the bills, while he maintains ownership, and the bills are likely more than it cost for her and two children to live and rent and eat. It is vastly unfair to her. He is getting the benefits without the cost. Add to that, SHE pays for treats, take-aways, and holidays means she is getting the VERY short end of the stick. Add to that, the value of her car, cooking, ALL the cleaning, laundry, childcare and everything else...he should be paying her. He doesn't even pay for car fuel. I mean JFCOAC!

Why do people keep saying she's paying his mortgage?

She's contributing but she's living there too.

@HomeTheatreSystem he has said to OP that it is in his will - see OPs update - a lifetime interest. If that's true it means she can live in it for the rest of her life. If he dies tomorrow that's potentially a very long time, for what is quite a short relationship. Totally legally enforceable. I think it's pretty generous. I wouldn't want my kids to have to wait 30, 40, 50 years for a short term partner to die before they got their inheritance when they could have it sooner and get themselves on the property ladder.

He’s not stringing her along. He’s been clear he doesn’t want to marry her, and that his kids come first.🤷‍♀️

People talking about the "lifetime interest" in the house need to make the distinction between what the OP's ex partner has told her is in his will, WHICH HE HAS NOT SHOWN HER, and what is actually in his will (if, indeed, he has made a will), and acknowledge that he could change the will at any time without informing the OP about it. I would also query why on earth he doesn't have life insurance in place to cover the mortgage for his children in the event of his death, and is effectively expecting the OP to provide it for them.

Sounds like he might regret it now though.

To me, it sounds like the only time the dickhead ever wavered was when he thought he could get his paws on more of her money. He knew she wasn't money focused, but HE always was. His and hers is what he wanted.

I would too. They get snapped up so quickly and a single mum with kids won’t be at the top of the ideal tenant list. Try to sweet talk your way into an early viewing today if you can and offer to rent on the spot if you like it. Otherwise someone else will get it.

The OP wrote, amongst other things, at around 6.00am this morning:
"In terms of him expecting me to pay the mortgage on his death - he has said (but never proven I will add), that his Will states I have a lifetime interest in the property, and that I would be paying the mortgage to continue to live there - he said ‘you would be paying rent anyway’ - one I have always been clear on (as much as his view on marriage) is that I need to be an owner or joint owner of a property and actually the idiot has very clearly failed to realise he would have been in a far better financial position, with a better home for his children had he done that with me"

And so it begins…… I think he is starting to panic. I’ve had a message from him, he’s reluctantly agreeing for me to leave, but wants to talk because he’s stressed at work and this isn’t helping him.

I know - my heart bleeds too…..

On a further note ladies - the house is still available!! I’m going viewing later this week. Small steps.

Agree, he’s not being generous in the slightest. He’s leaving her high and dry while she finances an asset he couldn’t finance on his own. In what world is that fair? She’s supposed to be a family member if they live together and she cares for his children. Yet this selfish fuck thinks it’s fine for his life partner to pay and pay but get nothing while he and his kids sit back and watch the coins roll in. This is a demonstration of how some people think they are unselfish for caring about their own children but are happy to fuck others over in the process. That’s not unselfishness- it’s just narcissism transferred to benefiting your children rather than just yourself.

Hopefully no other woman will be wanting to move in with this catch. Can’t say I’d be enticed really.