Partner won’t marry me

@Startinganew32 possibly the wisest advice I have ever read on here!

People are talking as if the kids will be these poor orphans. They’ll likely not inherit from their parents until they are 50+ if the money hasn’t been spent on care by then. Fine if people want to avoid committed relationships so that they can leave everything to their kids but it’s not okay to use people financially like this man has done by getting the OP to finance his life and telling her he was “coming round” to the idea of marriage. I suspect that wife number one will wind up happier than this miserly twat. And the consequences of leaving it all to your kids of course is that those kids might be married to some scumbag who then bleeds them dry or divorces them and ends up with a big part of the money. You might as well try to be happy.

Or if the new H has children if his own there will be issues at Wife No. 1 Towers over who gets what. I should imagine after being married to this ‘treat’ in the past she will have organised her life by now. I have no idea who she is, but I hope she has a lovely life.
And I hope OP’s is even lovelier!

Keep to your grounds op 💕

Who cares what he does?

Can’t he get a lodger ?

@yipyipyipp

I am on the Op's side, and think that her 'd 'p is going to get everything he deserves.

That's not ops concern nor done know his exs circumstances. He's selfish

actually isn't it a kick in the teeth for his plans for his children to inherit everything from him, as if Mum owns her home and now marries - her home will go to her new husband on her death and the children may end up with nothing from her.

which puts a bigger burden on him :)

and with the Op intending on moving out, it appears he may struggle to afford the current home by himself...

I can see the irony. The ex-wife is able to move on in a way that this bloke can’t. She’s not worrying that her new husband might inherit some of their shared estate, is she? Presumably, she’s pretty happy right now whereas her ex is newly single and having to sell his home.

Yep, clever woman rolled that numpty off her books and moved on. Keep moving forward OP.

He hasn’t thought it through has he? 👀

Agree with other posters. Keep your cards close to your chest.

Make a cheeky offer on the house you like or speak to a broker. A broker worked magic for me (self employed).

Funny that his ex is getting married!!!

Doubt he’s relieved since he’s started to act nice and again and wants to talk to the OP.

He’s starting to realise his golden goose is walking away and he’s bricking it.

I think there are a few schemes for people who don’t have much of a mortgage saved - you should look into them! Failing that could you ask a family member to go guarantor or loan you the amount you are short on a mortgage and then take in a tenant for the first year to help pay them back quickly? Also maybe consider a shared ownership house. In the meantime don’t give that man any more money for bills or otherwise - tell him he still owes his half for holidays if he asks!

Whatever you do don’t let him sweet talk you into staying at the weekend, remember the man has already lied to you and strung you along!

Oh he'll survive. He'll just have less to leave his children, which ironically is his reason for not buying a house with the OP.

If you really don't want to get married, hearing someone else is getting married usually just reaffirms your decision. I'm sure he'll be fine, more women shouldn't choose a miserable option just because it keeps a nicer roof over their head.

Relief? The guy is going to lose his house. I don't think he's a bit relieved.

Not really, he doesn't want to marry you regardless so I'm not sure why. He maybe feels relief if anything!

I see what you mean. That would make me even more fearful of his wrath if I were the OP, actually. Definitely cards close to chest and stealth/surprise moving out asap, @Everythingwillbeokk, I repeat

Logically no, but the 2 women who've been significant in his life have now left him and are moving forward with their lives and he will be on his own and going backwards (selling house as he can't afford it on his own, downsizing to somewhere smaller or in a not as nice area, or going into rented, and in the process possibly having to spend thousands from the equity he was so keen to preserve for his kids.) He's going to feel it.

He’s going to have to sell up now so he’s unlikely to be five minutes away.

@Everythingwillbeokk I think the timing of this is great too!
Sort of like divine intervention !! 😅

Hope it goes well with the house you've seen.

And really well done for all the efforts you've been making! Take care. ☺️

I have a few disagreements with your post:
*op says they planned to buy a house together but he kept changing goalposts
*he told her he's warming to an idea of marriage in the past
*he's not protecting his assets, he's increasing them at @Everythingwillbeokk expense.
At the end of the day, he's taking advantage. She had love induced blindness and is now seeing that they are not compatible.

Actually, OP, having read your other posts and seen what a peach this man is, I have much more sympathy for your position. Don't pay another penny into the common pot. If he's going to behave like a twat, why should you be out of pocket. And no more housework, if you can bear it. What a wanker.