Partner won’t marry me

Ignore the crazy answers OP, it sounds like you're being very sensible.

Re airbnbs, you can usually message the owners before you book anything and so you could ask if they would offer a significant discount for a long term let if they are quiet over winter, but I imagine the trouble would be if they have short term Christmas bookings etc.

All I’ve done is point out where you’ve made inaccurate comments because you didn’t read OPs posts properly. I’m sorry if you see that as bullying.

This.

It isn’t ’the right thing to do’ to financially provide for him and his children. It’s being a fool.

Given how he is now behaving, clearly you are doing the right thing. Well done!

I don't understand some of the responses here OP. I think some folk are not reading all your posts.

As far as I can tell, the only thing you've done 'wrong' is be a perfectly reasonable and decent partner to a bloke that does simply does not deserve you. It very much reads as though he has been taking huge advantage of you - in more ways than one.

He'll have to find an alternative way (or person - this is what they do isn't it!), to now fund a lifestyle he can't afford on his own, do all of his own housework, and solo parent his own children. Will be a big shock for him! No doubt the regret, apologies and back-tracking of some sort may start soon enough.

I wish you all the best with finding yourself a new home and moving on with your life. 🌺

Thank you!! I didn't realise that I could do that! You are kind.

I love you!!!
Well done for laying down the line and sticking to it. You are not a free nurse, free housekeeper or free lover.
Marriage exists for a reason.
To protect you in old age.

Why? Why would you do that when it's been clear from the start that he was never going to have a true 50/50 relationship with you? Why on earth have you financially supported his kids? You are not even their stepmother and you've been spending money on his kids that should have gone towards your own. That doesn't make you generous, it makes you a mug.

Really unbelievable OP that you are paying more but could be left homeless.

Thank goodness you have finally woken up.
This really is an unbelievable read.

@Naunet not sure what your personal beef is but lay off it would you. You are coming across as a bit of a bully

Definitely a deal breaker. Especially if he is expecting you to pay the mortgage, you are not and will not benefit from this at all.

They’ve already split.

It does.

@Everythingwillbeokk wow his mask slipped quite quickly!!

Watch out for him backtracking when he realises he's shot himself in the foot, or shat his own nest as @Fob nan would have said. He might use the dc to make you feel guilty or even spring that proposal on you...

Both parties should prioritise their own dc. I hate the step parent dues and other side and their dc got everything stories.

If you live in his house, do not pay the mortgage, just pay rent/lodger and half the bills, then put your savings away if you have them and that can be used if you split.

You really shouldn’t have rights to his property, he doesn’t want you to have those rights. What you paid so far, is that on top of half the bills and what you would reasonably paid as rent-lodge? If so, ask for some of it back.

The only really unreasonable thing here is you paying towards his mortgage. You shouldn’t be paying and he shouldn’t accept it.

But you don’t want the same things. Leaving is absolutely the right thing to do for you and your children.

But if you split then anything with both of your names on is going to have to be split/is going to be messy in some way.

Keeping things separate is just easier for everyone involved.

I am worried you are going to get stung in the future.

Why not buy your own home in just your name.

LTB.

Don't look back.

Is it even possible to put a car in two people's names? I thought a car had to have one registered owner.

You're getting some weird replies here, OP 🤨 This is AIBU, I suppose!

5 years and he's dropped his mask this quickly. It must be very upsetting, but you're right to keep your focus on "where next?" with your DC - and without him.

I shouldn't be surprised any more by the startling amount of entitlement some men people show towards their partners' assets, but sometimes it still shocks.

Very best of luck with a swift and satisfactory move!

So you won’t put your car in his name but you expect him to put his house in your name?
Can you not see the irony in that?
Surely you can see how he feels, purely because you feel the same with your car.

Eh? She's not asking him to give her his house. She wants to own one with him. You can't jointly own a car. If she puts his name on the car it means she has given him a car.

She (op) says quite clearly in her posts that he can't afford the current house without her contributions. She's also been financing the holidays. Bought the family car. I'm not keen on marriage myself so I can understand his sentiments but he is taking the mick being in the financially beneficial relationship but OP has no equity in anything.

I believe, as my now deceased Nan would have said, 'He has shit his nest.'