Partner won’t marry me

I would too. They get snapped up so quickly and a single mum with kids won’t be at the top of the ideal tenant list. Try to sweet talk your way into an early viewing today if you can and offer to rent on the spot if you like it. Otherwise someone else will get it.

Agree, he’s not being generous in the slightest. He’s leaving her high and dry while she finances an asset he couldn’t finance on his own. In what world is that fair? She’s supposed to be a family member if they live together and she cares for his children. Yet this selfish fuck thinks it’s fine for his life partner to pay and pay but get nothing while he and his kids sit back and watch the coins roll in. This is a demonstration of how some people think they are unselfish for caring about their own children but are happy to fuck others over in the process. That’s not unselfishness- it’s just narcissism transferred to benefiting your children rather than just yourself.

Hopefully no other woman will be wanting to move in with this catch. Can’t say I’d be enticed really.

Yes, I was wondering that, I think that's a really good idea, @Everythingwillbeokk.

I think they are trolling op. Or haven't read how mean and nasty he is in other ways, apart from this.

Whoever thinks this is a Good deal for op and her children abd is basis of a loving relationship... I feel sorry for. Need to set Barr higher for themselves.

Especially how much op spends and cleans. I mean that in itself is reason to leave.

Is there any chance you can view the property sooner then ' later this week '

where I live rentals can be gone within hours.

edited to add - or is it the agent that is doing the viewings later this week, and you will be one of the first over the doorstep.

The OP wrote, amongst other things, at around 6.00am this morning:
"In terms of him expecting me to pay the mortgage on his death - he has said (but never proven I will add), that his Will states I have a lifetime interest in the property, and that I would be paying the mortgage to continue to live there - he said ‘you would be paying rent anyway’ - one I have always been clear on (as much as his view on marriage) is that I need to be an owner or joint owner of a property and actually the idiot has very clearly failed to realise he would have been in a far better financial position, with a better home for his children had he done that with me"

I agree with you. Your kids will be fine. I am betting there was an undercurrent of tension in the home for quite a while, and they will be relieved to not have to try and pretend it wasn't there or slough it off as NBD.

You sound like an excellent Mom and you three will be fine.

Please take him off the car insurance, get your valuables to your Mom's/into storage, before dickhead absconds with them, and I hope you soon find a place to live. Or squeeze into Mom's. I don't trust the dickhead at all. Please stay safe.

Edited out as I lost the quote I wanted to reply to.

Oh bore off.... op is not getting a good deal at all.

I don't get women like you. What is the deal,with all this breadcrumb misogyny and misogynist sympathising on this thread!

Op youre doing amazing, ignore the haters. Either men or cockpecked women who think accepting crumbs is acceptable and should've grateful

Sorry, I've read OP's posts and can't see the word "will" mentioned anywhere. He's made verbal assertions about future benefits to her in the event of his death, as people are wont to do in order to persuade others to do things for them, and which they have no intention of honouring.

Surely the response is ‘I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been discussed. You’ve made your feelings clear - as have I’.
’Reluctantly agreed I can leave’ sorry what the actual fuck? Are you a hostage or a girlfriend?

Keeping my fingers crossed for the house, OP. You deserve it.
I can’t believe people think it’s okay to exploit others just so that their own children can get something.

YEA!!!! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

Not much worth having is easy, but it does make life sweeter when you come into your own and give yourself happiness!

You put that so much nicer than I could have. I hadn't gotten to your post yet and was already planning my "banning" so I could go off on the ugly being posted.

Thank you for keeping me from getting kicked. It would be nice if MNHQ would be as quick to ban the bullies as they are to ban the defenders of the bullied.

I'm keeping everything crossed that you get this house! 🤞🤞🤞

People talking about the "lifetime interest" in the house need to make the distinction between what the OP's ex partner has told her is in his will, WHICH HE HAS NOT SHOWN HER, and what is actually in his will (if, indeed, he has made a will), and acknowledge that he could change the will at any time without informing the OP about it. I would also query why on earth he doesn't have life insurance in place to cover the mortgage for his children in the event of his death, and is effectively expecting the OP to provide it for them.

@Everythingwillbeokk you're handling this in the most admirable way with magnificent style. It's tough and upsetting but I do believe that everything will be ok for you, soon.

There have been a few unpleasant contributors on this thread, I can't imagine what inspires their bile, jealousy usually. Ignore them and continue to make plans for living your best life, without him of course.

he’s reluctantly agreeing for me to leave

He doesn't have a choice, does he.

My post was in response to another poster (quoted) who said that PC Plod had given OP a life-interest in the house when in fact he hasn't done any such thing. I wasn't getting into the matter of whether he should or shouldn't let some unrelated woman sit in his house and pay his mortgage so his kids could inherit even more equity than they would if a sale were forced as a result of his death.

@Everythingwillbeokk

Someone upthread mentioned the possibility of an OW. I really don't think so. His 'golden goddess' is money and securing HIS finances. So unless he's found some rich babe who is showering him with coin, he's going to operate under the premise that the bird in the hand (you) is worth holding on to. He's 'sure' of you and thinks he has you under his thumb (more fool him!), I really don't think he's going to go looking and risk spoiling that.

If he's acting like all is back to 'his idea of normal', good. Carry on quietly getting your ducks in a row.

As far as 'primping yourself up', do it but only for yourself. Don't do it to make him jealous or to 'see what he's missing'. That's just another way of wanting to see how much he cares which shows how much you still care. You need to be aiming for indifference. That's where you don't care if or how much he cares. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. So strive for indifference.

actually, he sounds like a complete pig. You pay for the holiday, but never allowed a window seat is a tiny example, but speaks volumes.

To me, it sounds like the only time the dickhead ever wavered was when he thought he could get his paws on more of her money. He knew she wasn't money focused, but HE always was. His and hers is what he wanted.

I'm sorry, but have I missed your apology to the OP? It was VERY clear that she was paying towards a LOT more than the dickhead. The fact that she earns so much more but yet, only has a small deposit makes that perfectly clear for those with common sense and basic math.

I hope the OP updates us when she moves out and when he realizes his free holidays, take-aways, treats and are bye-bye.

OP--thank you for being logical and level-headed. he wanted it ALL and wasn't willing to share. I feel he actually thought you'd be a push-over and obviously though you were at his beck and call. I hope the dickhead has fun cleaning his house and cleaning up after his kids. I hope you don't plan to give him a penny more from this day forward. Make him buy and prepare his own food, do his own laundry and clean up after himself. It's the least he deserves.

@Startinganew32

Yes I should have probably said "some"