Teenage boys

Can you talk to them in a calm moment well away from time pressures like morning rush and bedtime tech cut offs? When I say talk I really mean discuss and negotiate. I have 16 year old twins and it’s been a very long summer since they left school in June so we have had to do lots of this kind of discussion. It’s not completely foolproof, but giving them some responsibility for the decisions made has been largely positive.

An example of this has been give and take over noise first thing in the morning vs noise late at night. They didn’t have to get up in the morning so were happy to stay up late laughing and shouting while gaming. My DH, DD11 and I did have to get up early but our sleep was disturbed by them. They honestly didn’t realise the impact and were more bothered that we were waking them up (unintentionally) when we got up. We discussed how to make both situations better and a somewhat reluctant agreement has been reached and (mostly) adhered to. They are aware that if we are disturbed at night then they will definitely be disturbed in the morning.

Teens can be notoriously self centred, gently showing them another perspective can sometimes be helpful. We are still discussing chores and helping when asked but the situation overall is much improved.

Good luck

This book might be helpful, but I haven’t read it yet https://www.amazon.co.uk/Teenage-Brain-Neuroscientists-Survival-Adolescents/dp/0007448317

The breakfast thing, I would just let go. Don't sweat the small stuff. None of my 3 teens would eat breakfast before school. They all passed their exams and are now working young adults, still not eating breakfast.
Behaviour is the biggest challenge. It's tough. Sending solidarity. DC 1 had an epiphany as they turned 18 and suddenly became a reasonable adult. DC2 is now this age and is improving but it patchy - can also behave like a selfish teen or throw a tantrum still. I am just trying to say there is an end to it, hang on in there x

With regards to morning, mine didn’t like to eat early (and I don’t to be fair). Could they have a pack up breakfast (made the night before) that’s they can take to school to eat at morning break!

We have the tech battle with DC15. The phone/laptop have to be in my room overnight on school nights. It’s done with a huge amount of stomping and huffing and puffing but that’s the rule. It’s exhausting to have the same battle every night but you have to be consistent and I would suggest trying not to get drawn into an argument (easier said than done).

That does sound tough. No wonder you are worn down. It's hard doing it alone.

I can't think if anything other than prepping a bit the night before. So making up a breakfast sandwich which coukd be eaten at break, making sure clothes are ready, setting a few timers to aid moving out the bathroom. But I know it's not easy..

In terms of your own stress levels, would your employer let you have a soft start, like arrive between x and y (which you work at lunch or end of the day)

How old are the teens?

Some of the things are normal. Teen sleep shifts so you might need new routines. They grow so need a lot of food. If you look at a guide for calories for an active teen boy it's huge. They have to have clothes that fit.

Mood swings / aggression when turning of tech and testing boundaries is more difficult.