To not be there when my dog is put to sleep?

I've never been around them when they had been PTS. I take them to the consulting room, explain why, sign the papers etc. and just say goodbye then. I let the vets do the actual deed.

I really do think that you'll regret not being there for him if you don't.

I recently read that dogs look for their owners when they are being put down, so it is important that the dog is accompanied by the person they most think of as their owner/carer. I think the question is, will the dog be looking for you or your parents? Sorry about your dog.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/pets-are-scared-and-look-around-for-their-owners-in-dying-moments-brokenhearted-vet-reveals-a3931961.html#:~:text=A%20%22broken%2Dhearted%22%20vet,them%E2%80%9D%20in%20their%20dying%20moments.

Staying with your pet is a very personal choice and many people can't stay for many different reasons.
The majority of vets and nurses massively disagree with this article as it is:
a) not true I never see pets wildly looking around for their owner we reassure them and cuddle as if they were our own and the settle.
b) it creates a huge amount of emotional pressure on people who are already struggling.

As long as someone she loves is there, then it doesn’t matter if you are there too.

If the dog is that happy to see you, and you can manage the journey, I think you should go. One last joyful time for the pet.

Plus in future you won't have that nagging feeling that you should have made the effort.

Wouldn’t you want your dog to feel loved by his favourite person in his final moments?

Our vet came to the house when it was time for my boy to be PTS. I had him lying on my lap and cuddling him whilst he drifted off and the vet stayed with me for about half an hour to ensure he was definitely gone and she was so lovely and kind, even though I could hardly speak for sobbing.

I would go if possible. I would also highly recommend getting a mobile vet to pts in the home too. We had our elderly cat pts earlier in the year and we were all there as a family. He went peacefully to sleep and with us all stroking him and although it was obviously upsetting it was the best ever way he could have gone and it brings me a lot of comfort.

I think it's more important to pay a little more to have the vet come to your home to put to sleep in a familiar environment with your parents.

Would it help you if you organised or paid for that?

OP, please be there. Vets say that in their final moments, the dog will look around for his/her loved ones. He needs you there to send him on his way.
You don’t have to watch the process. Just look into his beautiful eyes, cuddle him, tell him he is the best boy in the world.

Gosh I am crying and my beautiful lad is only 4.

Go, you'll regret not being there. Our pets are family, you wouldn't not go and be with a loved one for the last minutes of their life. A day in your life is nothing!

Someone needs to be with the dog. I read an article by a vet yesterday who said that any dog that is left by its owners always dies staring at the door, looking for them.

I think you should be there - you will regret it if you don't go.

I posted before I saw your update. I think based on that you should go. For yourself as well as for her.

It's always very hard, but we get through it in the moment because of the love we have for them. It's okay if there are tears, that's perfectly normal. We do our best to stay as calm as we can for them in the circumstances and reassure them as much as we can. And we take a whole bunch of tissues. Of course it's going to be very hard. But, yeah. I think after the dust has settled you would be glad that you did.

DS and DDog absolutely adored each other however DS was away at university when the dog became very ill and had to be PTS at very short notice. Both me and ex-DH were with our dog at the vets and stayed with him until the end. DS was obviously devastated but knew that we couldn’t let the old boy suffer until he could get home.

I think as long as there is someone familiar at the vets with your family dog then if you really can’t face being there, then don’t go. DS has his memories of DDog that aren’t marred by seeing him PTS.

While I do agree its not necessary for several people to be there.
When we have had pets PTS we all say good bye but then only 1 of us stays for the final bit and the otehrs wait outside

Agree.

It’s the final kindness we give to our pets. It’s devastating and hard but I’d have massively regretted not being there for my pets. I’m so glad I was. All were peaceful goodbyes.

Please have at least one of the family with her until she is asleep. They give two injections, one to sedate them (effectively a general anaesthetic so that they are asleep) and one to stop their heart & breathing. She won't be aware of anything after the first one, but I really do think they should have somebody from the family with them until they are asleep, for reassurance and to reduce stress and fear for them.

I went with my parents to put their last dog down, as I'd been in a similar situation to you, and I was the only one mobile enough to sit on the floor with her while the vet and vet nurse did their thing. I stroked her head and told her how good a dog she was. I think it's an honour to be able to be there for them in their last moments.

Having said that, she would have been treated very compassionately by the vet and vet nurse if none of us were there. Both of them teared up a little after it was done as we were leaving, which was very touching to witness. It has been a very straightforward euthanasia of an elderly dog who had had a good life, so their tears were 100% a sign of their compassion for her.

Whether you go and see her before then or not it's up to you. If you think she'd enjoy seeing you I'd do it to give her maximum joy in her last few days, as well as for myself.

It really doesn't matter from the dog's point of view. She won't have any awareness of what's happening any more than any other vet visit.

Think about yourself and your parents - what would be best for you and them?

From your posts OP, I think you might regret not being there. We all find the capacity from somewhere to be there, hard as it is. To comfort a much loved pet over the bridge is the final act of kindness.

With that info - If you could be there then if it were me I would. However 4 hour drive is no small task. It's such a personal decision - do your parents want you to go?