Am I bu to feel that this is an inappropriate thing to say to a parent who's lost lost their child?

I'm so sorry OP. What awful, crass nonsense you've had to endure on top of everything. Those sentiments are completely unacceptable. Of course your dear Isaac is irreplaceable, he was a whole little individual person and this new one will be too. What a stupid thing to say.

Are you in the UK? Many of us aren't brilliant at grief here at all and often fall back onto sentimental, toxically positive messaging that makes the sender feel better, not the receiver of the message. I think we fall between having the confidence to express heartfelt emotions and empathy, and for a lot of people, having a religious framework that helps finds the words for you so out comes this rubbish.

Sorry for your loss of Issac. It's an unimaginable pain hence why people are probably being clumsy in what they say. I know I'm one who say the wrong thing. Not saying that's right. Can't believe the replacement comments!

i am so sorry for your loss op

what words of sympathy would you like said?

I am so sorry for your loss.
I think that sometimes people don't know what to say so just try and say something when it would have been better to just say nothing.
I know its not comparable but when I had a MC at 12 weeks peopel said some awful things but as these were people who I knew loved me and were trying their best I tried to look past the actual words and appreciate the sentiment

Yeah they are pricks especially the replacing comments (wtf??) but tbh there's nothing anyone can say really. It's the worst thing that can happen and no platitudes will change that.

I can understand why seeing loss can make people more grateful for what they have. I cannot understand clumsily shoving this in the face of the bereaved. YANBU at all OP, you've faced some very thoughtless and inappropriate comments.

I've also come across situational specific versions of this type of comment/behaviour in relation to things not going right etc. It's never a good look on the commenter. People say some really stupid things.

OP, I am so sorry you're dealing with such self-involved people who can only frame the traumatic loss of your son in terms of themselves and how it affects them. Where is their care and concern for you and your family?

It's right up there for me with 'fly high' comments, 'losing battles' to illness, gaining wings, resting in peace/power, etc. Worse still when people tell you it happened for a reason or that some higher power only gave this horror to you because you're strong/needed to learn to be stronger/to teach you something. To me, that's unforgiveable and I cut people out of my life who thought it okay to blame me like that for my loss, as if it was inevitable and I should be okay with it - It's not a compliment, it's not karma, it's just life.

We just don't have good social or cultural words to empathise and comfort those experiencing traumatic loss and grief. It's all sentimental, sanitised, schmaltzy awfulness. You don't realise how awful the clichés are until you lose someone, especially a child.

May the memory of Isaac ever be a blessing.
X x X

Honestly I feel violence on your behalf.

I'm so sorry.

Op definitely not appropriate things to say. Even worse to write them down. When you actually have time to think about what you are saying.
I could almost understand people blurting out shite when they don't have time to think and don't know what to say, but need to say something. But not written down.

Sorry for the loss of your precious boy.

When my friends 3 week old baby was in hospital with a brain hemorrhage someone private messaged her on fb and asked to stop posting updates as it was making her stressed!!

People are thoughtless knobs.

It must have been an awful time, I'm so sorry you lost your boy xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had similarly awful comments when my son died. I was very young - the worst I got was "maybe it's for the best - you can enjoy yourself for a few years and try again when you're older".I get that people don't know what to say but surely some things bloody obviously shouldn't be said.

I'm so sorry.

I think some people think empathy is putting themselves in your shoes and just thinking about them.

My eldest child died and I too have lost friends who just can't cope with it.

You will find others though, who will be some of the best people.

Sending you enormous love.

I'm sorry for your loss and yes they are staggering insensitive and, frankly, cruel things to say to you

Sadly, far too many people love to centre themselves in other people's tragedies

Oh look at me look how awful I feel about this thing let's make it about my feelings so everyone can see how it's affected me and give me some sympathy and attention for this thing that didn't fucking happen to me and isn't bloody well about me or anything to do with me.

Twats

Fucking hell. No, you’re not remotely unreasonable.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Fucking hell those comments are awful. People are so thoughtless.

Not on the same level as your loss, but I had five miscarriages and got very depressed as a result, and someone asked me how I was. I said I wasn't doing very well, and they replied "but are you winning?". I had no idea what to say so I just stared at them and they SAID IT AGAIN.

People are thoughtless fuckwits.

In these circumstances I might suggest looking at the intention rather than the actual words but in this case, no, she is a thick heartless horrid person. I would cut her off and never have anything else to do with them.

Very inappropriate, I'm very sorry for your loss
I'm.absolutly not comparing , but i have a severely disabled child and I also get lots of inappropriate comments about how others couldn't cope in my situation,
I think sometimes people try to be kind but just don't think what impact there words will have.

Jesus some people, what awful things to say to you.
I hate the “if it was me…” brigade after a massive bereavement. Comparing their completely hypothetical projection of feelings to your real ones. Like having to get on with living means you don’t feel your loss acutely.

Oh my goodness. I can’t believe people are so crass and insensitive. These are all
absolutely horrendous things to say.

I am so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous boy xx

Jesus Christ.

I know people struggle to know what to say, but really? You're not a learning experience for them. Do you have a mutual friend who could maybe run interference or tell people they're being inappropriate? I appreciate you may just want to avoid the drama of responding.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have other people you can surround yourself with. And I hope you have a safe and straightforward delivery with your third child.

Omg. So sorry. I struggle to know what to say sometimes (I suspect ASD) but that is absolutely thoughtless.

God, that's dreadful. I'm so sorry people are such arseholes.

I know people sometimes don't know what to say when something this tragic happens, but that's beyond tactless.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine who in their right mind would think that’s an acceptable thing to say to a grieving mother.

I’m really sorry OP