Am I bu to feel that this is an inappropriate thing to say to a parent who's lost lost their child?

Moronic pig 🐖 🐷 ! 🤣

But it’s true OP: it’s just a completely clueless thing to say - as you well know.

I don’t know if this is helpful, but it helped my friend’s SIL. She made a special book of her son - just a collection of photos at first, but then added written memories of cute things he had done, drawings he had brought home from nursery etc, photos of his favourite places etc. She would sit with it every so often and at first it was very personal and painful, but gradually she shared it more with others and they would fondly remember too, and even added little anecdotes from their own memories. She said it really helped her because she felt as though, even by just sitting and turning the pages, she could still give him her time and thoughts in a focused way. I suppose similar to the way some people visit graves. But we are all different and you may think that is wrong for you.

I’m so sorry for your loss x

@EnfysHeulenEira I'm so sorry for your loss and that you've had to endure such thoughtless comments. If you can, limit contact from now on.
Just wanted to tell you that do not ever feel guilty to enjoy your toddler and new baby when the time is right. They are still here and you all deserve to enjoy each other and experience happiness. Tragic loss changes you, but it is not a life sentence for sadness.

Shameless posting so I can come to this. Thankyou

I'm one of this that doesn't know what to say and shamefully once when I was younger a colleague had a miscarriage and I said nothing as I didn't know what to say.

I'm still shocked at some of those comments though. Anyone saying "I couldn't live like x" or "I'd kill myself" are just awful.

I had a difficult time when my kids were small (nowhere near as big as losing a child) and I remember people saying to my face "oh I wouldn't be able to manage" while I thought I'm not managing...

I don't know the answer. People are weird.

Bastards. Sadists. Bastards.

I'm sorry people are so thick and/or self absorbed OP. I feel the same about "It's a parent's worst nightmare." Except it's a reality for some parents.

Most of all I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. Wishing you all the best with your birth and newborn.

The things that come out of people’s mouths (or put into writing) is shocking.
OP, what an incredibly sad loss you’ve suffered. I’m so very sorry for you and your entire family. I really wish people could understand that it’s not words you need, just love. I wish all people could be strong enough to hold us with love when we’re at our lowest. You find out who is a friend and who has been false. The good ones really come out of nowhere and prove to be amazing. “I’ll hold my babies closer tonight,” just lands so poorly. I can’t stand when people say that.

I had a stillborn daughter many years ago and unfortunately, it’s the maddening comments of others that have remained a bit stuck. “Well, you still have her (pointing at my toddler running around). No time for tears.”
Like, oh ok! You’re right! Why am I even crying when I’ve already got one of these things? Silly me. 😳

Some people dehumanise babies and children, I think.
They see them as items on a conveyor belt that you can just replace with the next one. It doesn’t go that way at all. And it’s so callous, that school of thought.

Isaac’s love survives. He is the eternal thread that lives on in your family, touching everyone’s lives. He will always be your beloved son and beloved brother to his siblings. His name is such a beautiful one.

I’m so sorry for the loss of Isaac and having to deal with insensitive comments is bloody awful. I hope your new baby arrives safely and that you can find joy in your memories of your lovely little boy in time.

@EnfysHeulenEira I am so sorry for your loss.
Would you like to tell us about Isaac?

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss.
The comments are completely inappropriate and vile. I am angry on your behalf.

People can be stupid,insensitive,idiots.They make your personal grief about them,they feel uncomfortable in your sadness.They are not good people. I'm sorry you lost your darling Isaac.

Some people really can make any situation about them, can't they? Absolute idiots.
Sending love and strength to you OP x

Sadly many people are so self centered and selfish these days they dont even realise they are being hurtful with their words.

I'm so sorry for whats happened and anyone that thinks a child can be replaced is an absolute moronic pig.

OMG what an appalling thing to say. What's wrong with people.

A colleague (who shouldn't have even known about it but a "friend" blabbed to someone who blabbed to someone else) phoned me the first day back after my MC to say that he knew how I felt as he had a cat that died a few years ago. I barely even knew this person and had met him exactly once very briefly
I can laugh about it now but it was awful

I'm so sorry for your loss. Cut these crass and ignorant people out of your life. I cannot believe people could be so thoughtless and insensitive.

I am so sorry for your loss, OP, and for the continuing pain of insensitive remarks and otherwise poor behaviour of some people.
I have heard and experienced so many hurtful comments since I lost my son. I agree that some people not knowing what to say is understandable, but comparing my child's death to the death of their dog, for example, is just crass. (This happened to me literally weeks after my child died).
You really do find out who your friends are and eventually you just cut contact with the people who make you feel worse.

Ugh, I had someone tell me they knew how I felt because their cat had died (it doesn't compare) or that their grandmother had died. I can sympathise with the grandmother but someone who died in their 90s, in the natural order, is not the same as losing a child.

I went back to work a week after losing my mum in tragic circumstances. My boss called me in to his office to express his condolences. He said he knew how I felt because he’d put his car in the garage for an exhaust repair recently and got massively overcharged for fixing it. I just said thanks and left for a quick weep in the loo but I never held it against him. He was trying to be nice with limited ability to empathise. So sorry for your loss.

You have done incredibly well not to punch them or tell them to fuck off.

I’m really sorry for your loss. Xx

You need to ask?

Those are such stupid things to say. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I just reply straight to such people. "Actually, you would go on because you wouldn't have a choice. You go on for your other children and the people who need you, if you nothing else."

When people tell me I'm so strong, I just tell them, "Not really, I just don't have a choice but to keep going."

Such a mindless thing to say. You see it all the time on social media but it’s another level of insensitivity to say it to someone you actually know in real life!! I’m sorry OP.

Self centred people thinking of their feelings even at that time and not how you are feeling.

Who says this stuff . Attention seekers .

Jesus christ thats awful, I’m so sorry for your loss OP 💐