Safety of children's sports club

Thank you for letting us know and congratulations on doing absolutely the right thing. Hope you find a better set up your son

This guy is old school. Understand the need for safeguarding all sorts of red flags. I hope you took your child out and I hope you reported him.

Our daughter goes to martial arts, the youngest class is for 4 - 5 year olds.

They too are on an industrial estate, the parents are free to stand inside to watch, peer in the door way, approach the instructors before and after lessons with any questions and queries.

They are also transparent with safeguarding etc and will email when training updates have been done for instructors. It is also clear and up to date on website - we are able to ask and get a clear answer on any thing.

We had one incident, where our daughter was being taught a self-defence move, and she told me that it hurt a little. I felt able to openly contact the instructors to talk about it and they were grateful for feedback, also emailed me a response, logged it and spoke to all classes supporting the children to be able to let them know if they do any thing that hurts them in the slightest. They would rather be overboard with things like this than not do enough.

I feel safe and my daughter is thriving there, her confidence has grown and she loves it, has made new friends and is happy to go.

That to me is a safe martial arts club - I would too be worried about the one your son is signed up to and would be taking him out immediately. Do not be afraid of your gut feeling, or trampling on the club's expectations. It needs to be right.

Here's the DfE guidance on what policies and procedures he should have in place

www.gov.uk/government/publications/keeping-children-safe-in-out-of-school-settings-code-of-practice

I think it is very naive of him not to have a second adult there for his own protection as much as anything else. It only takes one child to say something which is misinterpreted or someone to make a false accusation and it is one word against another and in what sound like unusual circumstances in the first place.

Please don't read that as me suggesting you are making a false accusation if you were to do anything about this. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with the arrangement. I can understand the whole banning parents thing but not in these circumstances. If he is that worried about them making progress, the class should either be in smaller groups or with more coaches

Oh that’s a bit weird. I wouldn’t be very happy in that scenario either.

dgd2 is four and her mum takes her to a martial arts class in a local leisure centre. Parents are very much encouraged to stay and watch.

id take your child out op personally

My son started martial arts at 4 and all the classes are mixed ages - 4-12 roughly. The teacher is wonderful and he usually has another couple of adults or teens there to help - but can manage fine without. It's smaller classes though.

Parents can peek in but not watch.

My daughter has done dance since 3 but once she went to proper dance classes at 4 there were no parents. No idea what happens in there but she's a wonderful dancer so clearly learning.

If you don't like the setup just quit. It's not worth the anxiety for a toddler class.

Knowing there are older children there, not just three year olds makes it slightly less worrying, is there CCTV in the room so anything untoward would be seen and recorded? Does your DC tell you all about what happens there, mine at that age would give a lecture all the way home about what they had been doing. I would certainly be outside the door even if I couldn't go in. It's probably perfectly safe, but I would be right there in case of any problems.

I don’t live in the Uk but this completely normal where I live. Only a few sports clubs we’ve done have I been able to watch, and even then most parents don’t. One being judo, DD didn’t like it, I think due to this reason, so we did stop.

Nope I would not be sending my child there, no way

I had this with a ballet class for my dd @HundredPercent run by a lovely woman but under no circumstances was any parent allowed to watch. I was somewhat ok (but slightly Annoyed) with it…until I realised that her older brother (a man in is 50’s) was always there to help her move stuff from her car, and would stay for the entirety of the lesson. He had no dbs checks or training when I asked because he’s “not in contact with the girls, he just watches”, my answer was literal “well, if Imhe can watch then I can watch!” to which she said no and I said well that’s a shame then because I removing my dd.

Our gymnastics doesn’t let parents in, so they have a viewing window… and of bloody course that rule doesnt apply to the pre school age classes! Parents are required to attend those.

In lreland
Guidelines for kids sports is at least two adults present. There is no way l would coach children on my own as l would be open to accusations with no witness. We are not even allowed to be on our own with a child eg for extra coaching for a few minutes at the end of a session.
I think but not absolutely sure with our Gaelic games there must always be a female coach present if girls are playing...can be alongside men. I presume there are girls in this group too.
He is being so stupid from his own personal point of view. Don't leave your little guy.

I suppose the teens are there to do toilet visits, we ith the young ones.i font think any sports clubs are expected ti deal with toilet accidents!
The case of doctors is very different because they are 1 on 1.In my sport the rule us that there needs to be 2 responsible adults on site but that could include a parent un a waiting room, and that there ant be 1 adult to 1 child.1 adult in the room to multiple child is fine (as it is in a classroom).In my sports club in accordance with NGB best practice parents are welcome to view.

My son (7) is in Judo and parents are encouraged to drop and leave, but the hall is and has always been open to parents to stay and view if they would like. I stayed for the first two classes until my son assured me he was fine and I didn't need to stay on week 3. 3 years old is way too young for a martial arts class anyway in my opinion- we started at 6 and the youngest they will take is 5 at our club- but either way I don't think any clubs for this age group should be out of sight of parents, it feels really wrong, and it seems very out of step with my own experience of martial arts classes for young children.

Nobody has been hysterical & said he’s a nonce, but there are legitimate issues here with safeguarding, H&S and just the practicality of 1 adult & 30 young kids.

No absolutely not - there are plenty of abuse stories coming out around gymnastics in particular, sadly some horror stories from a couple of local clubs to me, in fact when i visited one of them with DD they actually had posters up on the back of the kids toilet cubicle doors warning them not to complain if they didn't like something. If parents aren't welcome then just no - take DS to rugby pups / football and watch from the sidelines.

I'm now quite tempted to pop back there and see if they still have the same posters up in the toilets and take a pic and post it here and see if people think its acceptable.

@Didhe
So parents concerned about the safety and well being of their 3 years old are being hysterical?

I am a martial arts teacher (volunteer). We don't allow parents in the hall (too distracting) but they can watch through windows from the lobby. We start from 4yrs, and it's like herding cats with the young ones! We use the black belt kids (12yrs plus) as extra 'eyes'/ helpers so that there is usually one 'teacher' per 4 kids - to make absolutely sure there's no contact at that age, and no-one doing anything silly. There are always at least 2 DBS checked adults in the room, too - as others have said, taking a kid for loo break etc. requires a minimum level of people. Age isn't as important as size and awareness/ ability to follow instructions, but at 3-4 there aren't many kids who can move their bodies in a certain way if you ask them to, so it tends to be more about fitness & having fun.

Not safe at all.
There should be two adults minimum, but for that many kids probably more.
Aside from the potential assault/grooming risk, if he were to have a medical emergency (eg. Heart attack, stroke, anaphylactic) there would then be no one to call an ambulance / provide first aid; no one to contact the parents for them to come and get their kids; and a bunch of unattended children (including some VERY young kids).
I also just have no idea how he actually manages to run a good session with that kind of adult:child ratio.

3 is way too young to be left alone and agree with the question raised about the basics. Toilet needs, accidents etc...What angers me about these scenarios is that parents like yourself are made to feel (from him) like you're the strange one by questioning it, when your concerns are perfectly natural and valid. We all know that a doctor should never ask a parent to leave the room so why do we think it should be any different for a sport club?

I strongly suspect the reason he doesn't allow parents to watch is not because he is abusing the children, but more that he doesn't want the parents to see how little they are getting for their money.

A 3 year old in 'martial arts' and no parents are allowed to watch?

hahahahahahahaha

Find something else for him to do, OP