To feel uncomfortable with this man?

He's seen you out exercising? That's super creepy in my opinion.

Best way doing an emoji response, next though I'd not reply at all.

I wouldn't block him but I'd just read the messages with your husband just to keep an eye on the tone - no response though.

Hopefully he'll get the message.

On a safety note, walk in busy places - I have a feeling it's going to escalate unfortunately.

I probably wouldn't block him; it might be good to keep an eye on if/how he contacts you further e.g. if he persists, if he changes his tone/approach, gets more insistent etc.
I don't mean this to freak you out, just that I think having a feel for how he's operating, as it were, might be good.
If at any point he starts to pester you with messages, or gets more pushy about it or whatever, or if you just CBA seeing his messages any more, blocking is always an option.

Well, in this case he's never tried to make friends with the OP's husband.

How do you know they don't do that as well? I think the generation where men used to say they enjoy women's company is dying out anyway and being replaced by men who actively despise women, so progress I suppose?

No! judgemental, awful advice.
Sending Samaritan links, due to the person having MH difficulties, which apparently makes him manipulative! And suggesting a support group, so he can mix with similar people!!!

I didn’t suggest it was. I was responding to the “why do 50 & 60-year-old men only have the option of 19-year-old women to befriend”!

Yes, and she said he is 10 years older!

The other examples of creepy male behaviour on this thread have had an even larger age gap. So, still a younger woman. Why is that?

Plus she's married. I'm sorry but I simply dont buy that his only option for friendship is a married woman 10 years younger than him.

The OP is in her 40s

Then why not talk to women their own ages? are you really suggesting the only option for company for a 50-80 year old men is a 19 year old woman?

There are plenty of elderly lonely women or widows etc - why not talk to them? The fact that so many of these encounters turn into sexual expectations with much younger women is pretty obvious that its not just their "feelings" they want to expose.....

I think that will be right, but my experiences over the years lead me to believe that they also react to ‘a wrong un’! I was walking along with my current girl and a pleasant looking couple was coming toward us on the path. I thought nothing of them at all, but my Weimaraner really didn’t like the guy at all. She barked at him in ‘a meaningful’ way. I actually apologised to him, saying it was out of character. I thought about it later, realising that since it was out of character, she was probably on to something!

Not really if you take into consideration toxic masculinity, the reluctance to talk about feelings, appearing weak, less than , less of a man etc.

Can't say men are exactly renowned for their caring, supportive attitudes and abilities.

Fascinating that all these lonely men with poor mental health never find other blokes to latch onto isn’t it?

Malcolm Gladwell writes about this is one of his books (can't remember which one of the top of my head). He makes the point that our dogs are in fact picking up on our own behavior and how we react to someone/something. So if we are warm and friendly with someone our dogs read our behavior as this person is fine there is nothing to worry about. But if we are unsure about someone, even if it's that little voice in the back of our head or the visceral feeling we can't explain our dogs can sense this much better than we can and that's what they're reacting to.

*Doesn't explain my 12 year old terrier going mental at the Amazon man but I definitely think there's something in it.

A big dog is a great bodyguard. I have one too. How does your dog react to him. They have good instincts.

Looking back I think wtf, why on earth didn't he sit and chat to one of the other elderly men on the bus if he wanted to make friends with someone. Why choose a teenage girl

Bingo! It's not about loneliness at all. There were men in their 20s and 40s who also worked in the shop I mentioned above. That guy never once tried to start a convo with any of them. Not even once.

Loneliness is just an excuse to perv on younger women.

This thread reminds me of when I was 19...I used to have a temp job and get the bus there every day. A very elderly man used to sit next to me and talk to me. I was always very polite and didn't want to be rude to him. He used to constantly tell me he was lonely and wanted to be my friend. I remember feeling really really guilty that I didn't want to be friends with him. Looking back I think wtf, why on earth didn't he sit and chat to one of the other elderly men on the bus if he wanted to make friends with someone. Why choose a teenage girl.

@lightrage So sorry this happened to you, you must have been absolutely terrified. Thank goodness your dad appeared. Also, OP, I know you've been criticised for giving him your number (I think I even said you shouldn't have given it to him on an earlier post) but, thinking about it, if he'd been a woman, no one would have criticised you for it. I often see threads on here where people ask how you can make friends in later life and how on earth would you, if you never trusted anyone you meet? I think the main thing it boils down to is that he's a man and sadly, some men will read a lot more into a situation where a woman is just being kind/friendly towards them.

@PuzzleMix

Thank you- I dont think he would have got violent (but then, I just dont know) but it does illustrate how you can be behaving perfectly politely with no agenda and someone will wilfully misinterpret it.

I think someone may have suggested the book "the gift of fear" already but it's a great book about listening to your instincts (eg you said your instinct said no to going to his house). NEVER ignore that inner voice x

I get that he’s a carer and he’s lonely.
But he’s also recently had a romantic partner so he’s not wet behind the ears.
I am sorry but as I get older I’m far more measured. As women we are conditioned to be nice, friendly and polite.
(Apologies to anyone who hasn’t been conditioned to be like that but in my age group that was the norm!)
At 1 am he knows you are in bed sleeping next to your husband.
He is out of order and being creepy.
I would return to the previous state of being friendly in public. You don’t have to give an explanation.
A lot of these situations come to no harm but I have now reached a stage where too many timex over the years, when talking to friends, these situations end up where the woman involved ends up feeling in danger.
It is really sad for him he had behaved in this way but I think he’s pushing his luck.
Call me cynical…..

When my sister was younger, she had a Saturday job in a little gift shop. Every week a man used to call in, buy small items and eventually started to chat to her. He disclosed he had severe depression and mental health issues and she felt sorry for him as he seemed very lonely. He was a lot older than her and she never imagined he was viewing her friendliness in another way. It got to the stage where she'd make him a coffee and have a chat (it was a very relaxed "Hippy Boho" type shop). However, one day, when the shop was empty, he came behind the counter and attacked her

A similar thing happened to me. I wasnt attacked thankfully, but I was working in a convenience store when I was 19 and a student. A man in his late 40s used to come in to get shopping, started making conversation with me and told me all about his mental health issues. I was polite and friendly but never did or said anything to make him think I was interested.TBH it never even crossed my mind as he was old enough to be my dad so it never even occurred to me he'd think anything of it. I felt sorry for him because he seemed lonely and we would talk about psychology (which is what I was studying). Then he started inviting me to his house for a meal to "discuss psychology" and I politely declined. Then he started hanging around the shop every time I was on shift trying to talk to me (but not buying anything).

It started making me super uncomfortable so they took me off the till and on the shelves but then he would still come in and try to talk to me whilst I was working. One night in the winter when it was dark, I had finished my shift and was leaving the shop (about 10pm) and he waiting for me outside. It terrified the life out of me and he kept coming really close to me, touching my arm and saying "how about that meal now? I only live round the corner, we can discuss your course". Thankfully my dad arrived to pick me up in the car but it seriously freaked me out and I was really quite scared. My dad is a big guy and asked him what the heck he was doing approaching me. I never saw him ever again.

That incident stayed with me and it has made me extremely cautious about ever trying to #bekind to men because you simply never know how people are going to interpret it. No matter how platonically you act, some men will always just see what they want to see.

Phone numbers were exchanged to arrange meeting for a coffee. This happened before we met for the coffee (obviously!) and all the weird stuff hadn't happened at this point

I also get it- you were being friendly and had no clue this would happen. I was the same but its experiences like this that have made me super careful now and I expect this will make you much more wary going forward.

Its a shame because you should be able to give people your number without them becoming weird or texting you at 1am (which is absolutely inappropriate- it doesnt matter if he's a carer or up at night, he surely has the sense to realise that most people are asleep at that time, you dont have to be a scientist to work that one out!). It's way too much for someone you know as a mere casual acquaintance.