To think the one who wakes in the night should sleep a bit later the next morning?

Fairest set up.

Take it in turns.

Someone goes to bed really early. 8pm. The. Sleeps.

The other one stays away for the first wake up. Settles child. Goes.back to bed.

The first person then does the middle of the night wake and go back to sleep.

And then the second person does the early start.

That way everyone should get at least 6 hours undisturbed sleep.

And then either do a.week each and swap. Or do alternate nights

Not everyone agrees with or wants to sleep train.

My little girl is the same.
If one of us is up at night for a while, the other will do the early morning (weather we both got woken up or not). Particularly on weekends, we try to have one lie in each.

Tbh you shouldn't be doing all the nights wakes. Your creating a habit for your DC that only you can get them back to sleep. Very hard to reverse once established.

My husband wasn't hearing her either until we agreed to split. I was the one waking him up until he started to hear it himself. Now it happens sometimes that I don't hear her and he does!

Maybe take turns with both - so the one up in the night gets to sleep later, but then you switch over for the next night.

Then everyone also gets a good idea what the other one is up against.

I agree that one parent doing all nights, but the “lie ins” (and I suspect it’s not much of one anyway) being shared isn’t fair.

I do the night wakings (if any) and DH does the mornings.

Wake him up to do the early bit so you can get a few extra hours. Kick him if you need to.

We do this. I’m up breastfeeding 21 month old DD at least once, usually twice. Then DP gets up with her when she wakes about 5.30 and I go back to sleep for another 1/2 hours. Works well for us.

YANBU. I have breastfed our kids so by default did all night wakes, and DH does the mornings. When they started sleeping through if they did wake we would generally take turns. It’s brutal being up at 5am when you haven’t had a block of sleep. The block 6am-8am DH would give me is always the most valuable, I found!

I tended to do nights as I bf, always got the morning in bed then, I think it’s the rule isn’t it?! The night shift hands over at six!

At 14 months, I'd sleep train as soon as you can.

In the mean time, if you get up at night then DH needs to get up at 5.

When they were babies, DH would get up early with them while I slept until he needed to get ready for work. When they were sleeping through, I got up in the mornings and we took it in turns at weekends so we both got a lie in each week.

Misery loves company, we shared the pain.

While it’s still this crap one of you needs to go to bed early. The other does the 10-12 waking (as awake anyway usually). Then swap the other waking / early start with each other. So everyone is getting a decent stretch. So:

early to bed - early wake up
late to bed and waking (especially if she’s down again by 2) - sleep till normal time

We used to share weekend lie ins- one have Saturday one have Sunday; we got up in the night if it was our lie in morning.

I used to do the middle of the night shift as I'm more of a night owl.

DH would get up and do the early 5am start and let me have an extra couple of hours to sleep. We would both go to bed around 10pm so DH was probably still getting 7hours of sleep (with a bit of disturbance) and I was getting a bit more albeit in two parts.

It's rubbish but it doesn't last forever.

I do the wake ups in the night as I BF, baby is 16 months, and husband does pretty much every morning which means I sleep for 45 mins - 90 mins more depending on if I'm up early for work! It works well for us 😊

I've been same boat my DP never ever heard the kids however he would hear them if I wasn't home which I always found odd! But anyway he would always be snoring fast asleep I would get up in the nights he would get up in the mornings no way I'd be taking turns if I was up in the night! It's either one night each and the other gets up early or you do all the nights he does the mornings in my opinion

Don’t waste your energy “sleep training” just get to bed earlier so that a 5am wake up doesn’t seem so painful. Or put baby to bed later at night in the hope they wake up later.

Ruthlessly kick him out of bed at 5am if he refuses to do any of the night wake ups. Yes you’ll be awake too but try to go back to sleep.

my daughter is the same age. I make a hot water bottle every night, if she wakes up I put it in the cot while I settle her so when I put her down the cold doesn’t wake her up (obviously I remove it when I put her down). Don’t know if that helps but it helps us.

Also I got good blackout blinds and since then haven’t had to get up at 5. I got one that suckers to the window.

I know you didn’t ask for tips so ignore what I said if it’s a broken record.

If he's not waking up in the night, he should be getting up early in the morning every morning.

Really, it would probably be fairest if you alternate- so one night you do the wake-ups and he does the morning, then switch for the next day. But tbh, I ended up doing the night wakings because my DH was slower to hear DS than me, and I'm such a light sleeper anyway that I'd be awake no matter how speedy he was. So, I got the lie in every morning, and he'd handle DS right up until he went to work.

That was actually fine with me because I found I slept better when I at least had some kind of pattern, in that I knew I could sleep uninterrupted from the last night wake to when DH went to work. Body clock just adjusted in the end- DH got used to going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier, and I got used to going to sleep later and waking up later. I think you sleep better if you sleep and wake at roughly the same time every day, although I know the night-on/night-off pattern works fine for many.

Basically, I think both parents should be entitled to the same amount of sleep. However you arrange that to happen probably doesn't matter too much as long as you both get enough sleep to keep ticking over. If he's getting every single night with no wake-ups AND a lie-in every other day, that's not bloody on.

I think it's fair to share the wake ups if you can but also know it's difficult if you BF or have a DH who is a heavy sleeper. I used to do all the wake ups with my DC for these reasons and was mostly okay as I for back to sleep. The problem is I think a
either of you getting up at 5 am every day is also exhausting. How old is your DD? Are you both working?

With both kids we've done it that I do night wakings (I need more sleep overall but do fine with broken sleep) and DH does the early mornings (he needs less sleep than me but struggles with broken sleep) and I sleep in.

It's worked out well. I'd be pretty resentful at getting through the night and at 5am! I suppose it depends what the night wakings entail though, if it's a 30-second resettle that's different to a proper broken night's sleep,

It also worked to my benefit as the kids don't really wake me in night now but DH is still in the routine of taking them early morning