Would you take on c. 10K debt to have one chance of another child?

Yes. I had one successful pregnancy through ivf, but my second pregnancy was via a donor egg.

You are entitled to your medical information. You can do a freedom of information request and see all notes held on you. Even if you had to do each care provider individually, it might be worth thinking about.
Wishing you all the best.

No I wouldn't. I feel like the world of infertility can be a bit exploitative of women who are so desperate. I definitely fell into the trap (just one more go, oh if I try this special supplement it will happen, I need to try this treatment with this complementary therapist) and it wasn't a good place for me. My DH who is a very black and white person knew when to say no when I didn't and whilst it was hard at the time I don't regret stopping.

Would I? Absolutely not.
Would others? Quite possibly.
There is no right answer to this, just a list of pros and cons to weigh up.

Very difficult dilemma.
I remember when we did IVF one of the pieces of advice was to try and do attempts in threes as the psychological burden of a single attempt is too much.
We did 6 months of drug assisted attempts at natural conception.
3 IUI (drug assisted)
Then planned for 3 cycles of IVF. His sperm was poor so they recommended ICSI.
Attempt 1 failed. 2 gave us DC1. 3 gave us twins.
Do you have the mental and physical energy for twins as the possibility is high?

In short. No I wouldn’t go into debt for one chance. Sounds like it was very hard for you with DC1 and there’s too high a likelihood of failure and bad effects on your mental health and finances.

No and given what you’ve said in follow up posts @ohcrapimuseless i think you’d be insane to even consider a second pregnancy. Enjoy the child you have and count your blessings, don’t waste time hankering after something that’s so unlikely to happen and even if it did, the potential for disaster is much higher than that for success.

If your previous pregnancy was considered highly life threatening to you - I assume another pregnancy would be too? In which case no I wouldn't. If there was a low risk of complications I probably would.

But to be honest this is something only you and your partner can decide. We are all different. it doesn't matter what your friend is doing. No option is wrong. You have to do what is best for your and your existing family.

I did for first child. Won’t for a second. Happy with that decision.

We spent 40K. Although, we didn't get into dept. We had a choice a house deposit or a baby. My DC1 was my last frozen embryo. Our last ditch attempt. Would I have got 10k into dept? Absolutely. Would I do it with your risk factors? Hell no. Your allowed to be sad about it. It's not the life you thought you would have.

No I wouldn’t, I would adopt instead.

I just read this. My amh was less than 1 , plus male factor. That was before dc1 even. Why would your clinic not have the medical info?

We did ICSI, our chances of conceiving were 3%).

I really want to say no, stash the cash for your existing child. But I cannot, because it would be entirely hypocritical.

I took 6 things of ivf, years and a lot of heartbreak as well as a lot of money. But dc2 was totally worth it.

@ohcrapimuseless thank you for the kind words 💗 embryo transfer on Thursday so we have everything crossed.

Have you looked at clinics which offer multiple rounds for a set fee? Some even offer unlimited rounds over a set period of time and a partial refund if you don't conceive.

Also consider going abroad for treatment. Cypriot clinics are supposed to have amazing facilities and are cheaper.

I think personally for me I would try just so I wouldn’t always wonder what if?

We found ourselves in the position of wanting a large family but facing a lot of fertility issues. We’ve spent around £150k over the last 20 years to have the family we wanted. Some big age gaps , lots of surgeries for me, numerous IVF cycles, 1 ICSI cycle, numerous ovulation induction cycles.

If I desperately wanted another child and was physically up to it then yes I would, if I was confident I could pay it back.

If I didn't desperately want another baby for myself, just to 'give' my child a sibling then no I wouldn't. I think you need to truly want it for yourselves.

That being said, I think your medical history complicates things a lot and I don't think I would risk it in your specific situation, no.

I've got an only, she's absolutely fine. I'd have liked her to have a sibling but like you my health would have been at risk so we've made peace as a family of three. Having a a strong sibling relationship definitely enriches your life, but so can lots of other things that are within your grasp, it's not the be all and end all 💐

Agree, tends to be older children now

Agree, tends to be older children now

It doesn’t need to cost that much?

To have a first child yes; to have a second child no.

Adopt one of the abundance of tiny babies just waiting to be rescued from the children’s home?

Very unusual now.